Post # 1
I just got engaged. Yeah! I’m starting to look into venues and all that good stuff. And thinking about bridal party size and just how we are going to fit everyone in. My fiance and I have BIG familes but a very small group of friends. We were thinking having 3 of my girlfriends for BMs and 3 guys for GMs. We don’t want a really big party. But thing is our familes are HUGE! We both have 4 siblings. I have 5 neices and nephews, he has 16!And not to mention things like cousins.. he has 30 first cousins at least!! Thinking about all those people stresses me out a bit. So what are different ways that family members can feel apart of the wedding with out being in the bridal party?
I would love any ideas! thanks
Post # 3
I am also from a big family…my dad is 1 of 14….so I know how hard it is to incorporate everyone. You could have people be ushers, have some people do readings, if you are catholic have some of the other children bring up the wine and body. Maybe have some of the kids pass out programs. You could even come up with your own traditions or “jobs” for some of the kids to make them feel special. It’s all about what’s important to you!
Post # 4
My fiance’s family is huge too so I feel ya! You can always have family members as guest book attendants, hosts/greeters, etc…. but that’s still tough to include everyone. I’m trying to keep everyone involved by keeping them in the loop about some details and asking for help on pre-wedding things like DIY projects, decorating the venue, choosing a hair style, etc… even if they don’t have an offical duty on the wedding day they feel special for being a part of the process! 🙂 Overall, I’ve realized that I can’t include everyone at the same level… but I don’t think they all expect it either! THey know how big the family is, too!
Post # 5
Since you just got engaged, I think it would be very wise for you to seriously consider if your siblings would be hurt to not be in the bridal party. I am saying this only because my DH did not include any of his 3 brothers, and two were very hurt and it ended up causing a big rift. DH had assured me that they wouldn’t care because they are a lot older and they aren’t close, but you would surprised how people can react to these things.
It seems that you want a smaller wedding party. Have you thought about having your brothers and sisters as your wedding party and having your friends be ushers/readers/hostesses/etc.? I’m sure they would understand.
With the amount of nieces and nephews you have, I would honestly consider not giving ANY of them “jobs”! We ended up with a slippery slope on that one and had a troupe of children with random responsibilities. They were happy to do it and so I was happy about it, but it was a headache with 7 — I think you might be better off saying that you aren’t having any kids involved in the ceremony, and just make sure to have a kids’ table or something so that they feel special.
Post # 6
Oh gosh! thanks guys. those are some great ideas. Your replies really helped me unstress. And to think I just put up this post an hour ago. You have given me a lot to think about, in a good way!
Post # 7
When my best friend’s aunt got married, she didn’t want to put any of her nieces/nephews in the bridal party because she knew she couldn’t have them all in it. So instead she had each of them walk in the procession and put a flower in a vase at the front of the church. At the end their was a big arrangement where before there was just an empty vase. It was beautiful.