big group for venue visit? please give me advice!

posted 3 years ago in Venue
Post # 2
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

The more the merrier!!! Just remember it is your day. Let them give an opinion, but it is your decision. (And the people footing the bill)

Post # 3
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Oh, I went by myself and told FI I booked it after it was done! Lol He was just fine with it. as he says, this is my day, he just needs to know what time to be there and what to wear! 

Post # 5
Member
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

We had both my parents, my FFIL and my FSIL with us when we looked at venues. The people showing us around didn’t seem to mind at all. The only thing I’d warn you about is that more people mean more opinions which can be a pain. My FFIL was definitely a bit of a downer when it came to the venue we picked (he really liked another one which was lovely but remote and €6000 more expensive). It really depends on your personality and that of your family. 

Post # 6
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

cbj9: it was just me and FI, but the group ahead of me had 9. They were slow, ran over and overall not focused. I was offended since we were on time to our appointment but had to wait 15 minutes to talk to the venue coordinator because the group kept talking about things that didn’t matter (like what they were going to have for lunch!)

I thought it was pretty disrespectful overall, and the poor bride looked miserable. 

As long as your grandparents and brother realize that the goal is to get your questions answered and decide on a venue, it should be fine. Maybe create a score card for you, FI and your parents? That way you can track how you feel along certain factors so you can discuss after the weekend, instead of at the venue.  Can your brother have a play date with a friend? It trims it back a bit… or why can’t your parents pre-screen some venues?

FI and I decided that I’d screen all the venues in advance, so we really only visited two before deciding. I was glad not to have more on the list after realizing how much of a time suck it can be.

Post # 7
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I have to say that rolling 6 deep for venue appointments seems silly. Sounds like you’re in a tough place if you really think your family won’t understand that having a large group like that will probably more harmful than helpful.

Any chance the grandparents might want an afternoon with your kid brother while you’re out with the parents?

Post # 8
Member
387 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014 - Windstar on Naples bay

I went with my husband, parents, in-laws, and one time I went with my mother’s godmother. It wasn’t a burden to anyone at all. It was fun! I did allot of leg work before hand though. Like only took the full party to venues I was serious about. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  kittywolf13.
Post # 11
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

cbj9: Well, I hope it’s not too stressful for you — your dad sounds understanding so maybe we’re just borrowing trouble. Good luck!!

Post # 12
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee

If one or both of your parents could do any pre-viewing, that sounds great. Online photos don’t show everything. I did internet searches, e-mails, and phone inquiries, with venues/vendors, for my two daughters. Some vendors/venues I knew I definitely didn’t want to work with, just by talking to them. I ended up only visiting one venue, with daughter #2 (just the 2 of us) and 4 settings (garden, 2 ballrooms, and historic theatre) run by the same hospitality group, with daughter #1 (with her groom). Their father and I are hosting 100%; he and their grandmother had attended a wedding at #2s venue and had stayed at the hotel, with the 2 ballrooms, for #1, so they didn’t think it necessary to visit again. Groom for #2 was a “tell me what to wear and what time to be there type. “Groom for #1 wanted input in more decisions.  

 

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