Post # 1
So I thought I would give my fiance a little control during this whole wedding process, and I let him choose the tuxes. Big mistake! I went in to the shop yesterday with my dad to get him fitted, and realized my finace had chosen a very dull white tie with diagonal dashes/stripes. He also chose the same one in black for the groomsmen. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings by changing it, so I kept it the way it is. Then after thinking about it, I realized the tie wasn’t formal enough for my satin gown, and the diangonal dashes/stripes do not match my horizontal rucing that is on my dress. What do I do? I mentioned it to him and he said he is not changing his tie, and thats final! Argh!!! Isn’t it MY day?
What do you think ladies, I need advice. Am I being a stubborn bride or is he a stubborn groom?
Post # 3
Honestly, it’s just a tie. It’s not going to stand out that much. And yes, it’s your day, but it’s HIS day as well.
Post # 4
I think on this one you gotta let go. You got to pick your outfit; let him pick his. It doesn’t sound that bad to me, and I never notice the men’s ties anyway.
Post # 5
Would it be OK for him to expect you to change your dress to match his tie? No. I mean, that just sounds ridiculous, and I think the opposite is completely true. You gave him the freedom to pick out his wedding attire, and I don’t think it’s fair to make him change it now.
And to be clear, it is not just your day. It is both you and your FI’s day, so it’s not simply about what you want, but what you both want. And I’m confused: how does him picking out a tie you don’t like qualify him as a “stubborn groom?” It sounds like you let him choose his suit, and he did. What’s stubborn about that?
Post # 7
Does the tie really matter all that much in the grand scheme of things? I don’t remember looking at my husband once on our wedding day and thinking, “Ugh, this day would be so much better if you had chosen a different tie.” He could have been in swim trunks for all I cared!
And honestly, no. It’s not your day. It’s a day to celebrate BOTH of you. Unless you are marrying yourself, it’s important to take his thoughts and feelings into consideration during wedding planning. How is marriage going to work if you can’t compromise and be completely respectful of each others’ decisions now?
Post # 8
He’s a big boy. He can pick his suit and tie.
You should commend him for having picked out his tux and his groomsmen’s tuxes ALL by himself. He must be nerve-wrecked wondering if you will approve/disapprove of his choices. Make him feel @ ease.
Post # 9
I think some of the posters are being a little harsh, but I agree that it should be OK. I was actually helping my FI look at tuxes online over the weekend and we were looking a lot of group guy pics over the weekend and some of the diagonal ties really stuck out in my mind and looked great!! Black and white ties are formal, so I’m sure it will be fine. Good luck!!
Post # 10
No its not YOUR day, its HIS day too.
Post # 11
Definitely let him keep the tie.
Post # 12
No – it’s not YOUR day it’s both of yours!
You are marrying him not yourself.
The diagonal strips vs. your horizontal rouching – do not have to match no one will even notice and the tie is white and therefore it matches.
I would let it go!
Post # 13
I dont think this tie issue would be the end of the world.. No its not what you would have picked yourself but its good that he got some input expecially on what he has to wear. You got to pick you dress and he gets to pick what he is wearing.. its fair. and NO its not YOUR day It is BOTH of your days. This day is just as important to him as it is you.. Even tho it may not seem like it at times.
Post # 14
In this case you are being a stubborn bride. The horizontal stripes vs. diagonal ruching thing is a little silly in my opinion. Its not like if you were wearing a lace dress you’d make him buy a tie with a lace print. They do not have to match and it will not be noticeable at all.
Post # 15
On one hand, I have to agree–it’s not your day alone; it’s his, too. You let him pick out his outfit, he did, and now you kind of have to let it go.
At the same time, I think it’s weird he cares that much about a tie and, knowing you don’t like it, still wants to have it in the wedding. Maybe that’s just ’cause I’m used to my FI, who doesn’t care especially about ties. I think he’s had more say in my outfit than he’s had in his own, heehee.
Post # 16
Just let him have the tie. It’s really just a tie, a small detail amoungst the many detail I’m sure you’ve had control over. No one will even notice it, I’m sure. Don’t stress it.