Post # 1
I know, I know. Only have a wedding that you can afford – now that, that is out of the way:
Did you postpone your wedding to afford the wedding you wanted, or did you scale back on your wedding?
My FH and I have a bit of debt that we are paying off together. We have a baby, and I’m only working part-time because I’m a full time student. Money is obviously very tight.
I’ve been married once before, and maybe that’s why I don’t care for the big wedding. I just want to marry the man I love, the father of my child. I’d like to get married at the beginning of next year, before the baby’s second birthday. He wants to postpone the wedding so he can have the big wedding he wants.
So what do you do when each of you wants to do something different regarding having the wedding you can afford?
Post # 3
Well, we both originally wanted a huge wedding, looked at the numbers and said “Spending 15K on one day is something that we don’t want to do.”
So instead we decided to have a small wedding! Small to me meant 20 people. Small to DH meant 100 people.
So we met in the middle at 42 guests! And spent 4K.
Post # 4
@Daenaria727: We were able to have a small wedding (45 guests) and afford to pull out all of the stops.
That’s so much better than having to budget and cut corners for 150 guests.
Post # 5
@Daenaria727: are there certain aspects of a big wedding that your FI really wants or does he just want a lot of guests?
Post # 6
My husband would have had 200 people at our wedding. I just simply said I am not comfortable with that many people, and that I feel we shouldn’t invite people that aren’t in our lives.
I won 😉
Post # 7
@Goofball: He wants to party. He wants to be the center of attention for the night. He’s a mini-groomzilla.
I had an emotinal dabte with myself briefly whether it was the wedding or the getting married part that was important to him.
I think because we had a baby out of wedlock, he doesn’t want to do the small wedding because to him it feels like we did it in secret – he wants to be loud and proud about getting married.
Post # 8
@Daenaria727: if he wants the party with 200+ people then could you do a dessert and drinks only reception? Have the ceremony a little later (7:00 pm) and note dessert reception on the invites. It’ll help control costs by cutting dinner, but lets your FI still be the center of attention.
Post # 9
@Daenaria727: Well, what? how many? how much? where? What are we talking? What are both of your 3 top priorities for the wedding day?
Post # 10
In your situation, I would do the small wedding now.
Luckily for me, the wedding I wanted and the one I could afford were not in conflict, so I didn’t have to make this (difficult!) decision.
Post # 11
For me, a small wedding just wasn’t an option. I have a huge family and it is very important to me to have them all there. We’re having about 120 guests and it will end up costing about 18k. I know that’s a lot to spend on one day, but we have the money so it’s not a huge deal. And considering a lot of people pay double, triple, or even more for their weddings, I got over the price tag and decided to just enjoy it
If FI got his way we would be inviting 300 people with a budget of 5k. He had NO idea what weddings would actually cost