(Closed) Big party the night before the wedding, then simple dessert wedding reception?

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I personally wouldn’t party the night before a wedding…you’ll look puffy and tired the next day. What about doing light apps (instead of a full dinner) as well as bar and DJ for the wedding to save some cash but still have the same result.

From an etiquette standpoint, you really shouldn’t invite anyone to a rehearsal dinner who’s not invited to the wedding (and the reception).

Post # 4
Member
5269 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2016

I agree about the not partying the night before!  What about the weekend before? I think it’s ok not to invite everyone to the rehearsal dinner. We aren’t. Neither is my MOH who is marrying this July. She is having close family and the BP only. Her guest list is like 250! I am only having 50 tops but not everyone will be at the RD.  Could you do an app reception with finger foods then later on have an after party out around the town?

Post # 5
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think people will hear about this big party the night before, and realize that for all intents and purposes it was your real “reception” and that they were not “cool” enough to be invited to it…

@phillybride61513:  +1! You don’t want to party the night before your wedding.

Post # 6
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@cherryblossomlove:  Yes, but she’s saying she was going to invite people to the rehearsal who are NOT invited to the wedding…

Post # 7
Member
5269 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2016

@phillybride61513:  Ohhh ok hah! Guess I didn’t read correctly. Then no, it would not be a wise decision OP

Post # 8
Member
9143 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

I would be a bit insulted to be invited to one but not the other.  Seems gift grabby even though I don’t think that is your intention at all.

Why don’t you scale back and have an early afternoon or morning wedding with light apps and cake only for the family then do an after party another weekend for your friends?  If I were a friend I would probably still be a bit offended that I wasn’t invited to the actual ceremony but if the trade off was to attend a party in your honor with no mention of gifts then I would get over it and most likely attend.

Post # 9
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Unfortunately, the bride and groom are the most popular people at a wedding – both at the RD and the wedding reception.  It really isn’t a time to “hang out” with your friends, at least not until you’ve greeted every guest.

Your parent’s solution isn’t really proper, since people who are invited to the RD, or any wedding-related event, must be invited to the wedding itself.

Why not do an “after party” the night of the wedding?  Do the afternoon reception as planned, with everyone invited, take a break, and then host a more laid back after party – again everyone invited, but structured more for the young crowd.

Post # 11
Member
12821 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We had a pretty decent party with OOT family the night before the wedding… and it was a very, very rough start to the wedding day.  My recommendation is…don’t do it.

Post # 13
Member
244 posts
Helper bee

@futuremrsfitz18:  +1 for the after-party idea!

 

@Miss_Moose:  A former colleague of mine had a wedding with a small ceremony and dinner for close friends and family only, and then they hosted an after-party at a more laid-back location, as futuremrsfitz18 described. It worked out well for them — with the crowd naturally tapering out due to the location change and the atmosphere. I was actually only invited to the after party and was just fine with that!

Post # 14
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Miss_Moose:  Your skin and body will be so dehydrated that it could very well affect how you look. I wouldn’t recommend this idea. Not only is being hungover for your own wedding a terrible idea, but anyone that finds out about the real reception the night prior will be pissed and offended, I know I would. Just have what you can afford for your reception, with those you have to invite. Save the party for another time.

Post # 16
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Maybe you could flip the events?  Have the wedding and afternoon reception one day and then the party that night or the next night as a farewell party for your friends?  Might be easier because then the other people have already seen you at your reception.

The topic ‘Big party the night before the wedding, then simple dessert wedding reception?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors