Big step – first wedding logistics conversation!!

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: How long from first "wedding budget" talk to official engagement?
    6-12 months : (2 votes)
    9 %
    1-2 years : (3 votes)
    13 %
    3+ years : (0 votes)
    We never had that type of talk : (11 votes)
    48 %
    We had that type of talk, and I'm still waiting : (7 votes)
    30 %
  • Post # 3
    3268 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @LittleByLittle:  My SO and I haven’t talked about how much we might need for our wedding, though we’ve expressed to each other that we think his brother’s $30,000 wedding cost way too much (for their means)!

    We did start talking about the ring maybe 8 or 9 months ago; I showed him specific ones I had been eyeing for a long time last February, and (as I found out recently by some mostly unintentional snooping) he bought one of them in July. It probably got to him at the end of August. 

    I’m also in grad school, doing my last semester of classes before I start working on my thesis. When I have classes, I have to stay a few nights a week where my school is, 150 miles from home, but I will be able to do my thesis from home, so I will be home full-time living with him again beginning in December. I think he must be waiting until then to propose. I don’t know how long I have to wait at this point, but I know he said it would probably happen by April, and I can’t imagine why he’d hang onto the ring for THAT long!

    So, maybe 6 months to a year??? But that’s only if your SO has the money for the sort of ring you would like; it might be extended if he needs to save a great deal.

    Post # 4
    917 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    We never talked about budget until after we were engaged, but I got the ring about 5 months after we started talking seriously.

    Post # 5
    177 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    @LittleByLittle:  I just had this conversation with my BF earlier this week! We’ve been together for almost 4.5 years and by my guess, we’re about 8-9 months from getting engaged. 

    I can’t remember when we first started talking about weddings. Probably pretty early on, but the talks have become more serious/more realistic since last month when he paid his car off and started saving for a ring. And we’ve been to 2 weddings in the last month and a half, so we’ve talked a lot about what we would want at our wedding and how much we’d be willing to spend.

    So exciting!

    Post # 6
    720 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    We’ve never talked about a wedding budget, mostly because we don’t need to. My mom has always insisted that it’s very important to her (due to familial history/reasons) that she and my dad pay for our entire wedding. I know many Bees on here won’t agree with that – but it’s important to my mom for personal reasons and there’s no way I’m going to take that away from her (although I do plan on paying for many of the smaller things with SO).

    As for rings, SO first brought it up probably 6-7 months ago..and I’m still waiting (although I think it’s happening this weekend!). He asked me to send him pictures of what I liked. We never discussed price or anything like that – mostly because I have no idea what rings cost and know nothing about diamonds.

    Post # 7
    2052 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @LittleByLittle:  After a lot of waiting and many conversations that Mr. VB initiated to let me know that he knew I wanted to get married, but didn’t think it would be a couple of years yet (because he wants to save and be methodical) I caught wedding fever.  BAD.  So I came back to this site, and after playing the ‘ring porn’ and ‘dream wedding’ games, I realized that, well, the dresses, flowers and decor I like are pricey and that doesn’t include the menu, open bar, and oh yeah the VENUE haha.

    I decided that it was time to start saving for a wedding about a month ago.  I was bubbling over with excitement last week because I had just opened the account, and when Mr VB and I went to dinner he gently reminded me that he wanted to be methodical after I made a wedding joke.  (I’ve mentioned on other posts that he really doesn’t want to do this on credit and instead wanted to save up to buy the ring outright).  I told him that I supported him in being methodical and that I opened a wedding savings account to make sure we had enough money for the wedding we wanted to have.  We briefly went through logistics, as in he also planned to contribute to the wedding and we talked about the possibility of having our parents help (not really a route I want to go).

    So I answered ‘We’ve talked but I’m still waiting’. I agree with you, now that we are having productive conversations and we KNOW it’s going to happen but we just don’t know doesn’t feel like waiting as much.  It’s more live we are in a savings phase instead haha. 

    Post # 12
    1107 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    We didn’t seriously discuss marriage until recently (probably summer 2012 is when it truly became serious talk), and he popped the question June 9, 2013, so just under a year? He wanted time to save up, and he had been planning for a year to propose on the vacation we took up north (as he did) since the place we went had a lot of history in our early days as a couple.

    How exciting that he’s bringing up marriage talks though! 🙂

    Post # 13
    3268 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @LittleByLittle:  Yay, a fellow grad student working from home! It’s such a relief when it gets to the point when you don’t have to be AT school all the time, isn’t it?

    Things sound good for ring purchasing soon on your end there! 🙂

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