Post # 1
Ok, so this is really embarrassing, but I feel like I need to ask for help since I don’t know what to do! I have still not sent out all my thank you notes from my wedding that was last July. (Yes, I know it’s absolutely horrible). I’m not sure what to do at this point. The worst part is that I have all of the supplies, and in some cases I have some unset filled out thank you cards. I just didn’t send them. It was really a matter of life changing events happening after the wedding and the bag "unsent" thank yous sat in the corner of the office. I feel so guilty and want to do something about it, but my husband says I should just let it go. I do understand his point, because it is ridicusouls to bring up something from almost a year ago…
I would say overall half of the thank yous went out. Any one experienced this? Am I over reacting? I know I have a year to send out thank yous, but I don’t think anyone actually does that. I was thinking about creating some type of "one year" wedding newsletter about us and send that out to everyone, but I’m just at a loss and feel so guilty for not getting on the ball sooner. Ok, I’m done with this long saga, but please send ideas or feedback. It would be GREATLY appriciated.
p.s. if you are a future bride, start writing your thankyou’s now!! 🙂
Post # 3
I’d say do it now and just apologize for the delay – people will understand.
Post # 4
OK, so you’ve sent out half the thank you notes, so that leaves how many remaining? 50? 75? 100? Sit down every night this week with your husband and write 25 per night (marathon!), and send them out each morning. Just get them in the mail, and feel the weight lift off your shoulders.
Don’t belabor the point of them being late in your notes- I know you’re feeling embarassed, but don’t worry. People haven’t been waiting at their mailboxes every day just dying to get your note, and cursing you each day they didn’t arrive. 🙂 People understand that life gets in the way sometimes. They don’t have to be perfect; they just have to be done.
Just say something like Dear Mr and Mrs. So and So, We’ve been meaning to write to you for ages, but newleywed life has been such a whirlwind! It was so great to see you for the wedding weekend; I don’t think I’ve laughed so much in my entire life, and it was wonderful to see all of our families and friends joining together to help us celebrate. We absolutely love the new blender you gave us, blah blah blah. Love, Us
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union
I’d consider this a "better late than never" thing. Bite the bullet, perhaps make a little joke about how late it is in the thank you, and do it. I like the idea of a one year update too!
Post # 6
I believe, according to ettiquette, you have one calendar year to send out your thank you’s, so you’re still okay! Better late than never! I agree that you should sit down each night and do a certain number until they are done…
You can do it! 🙂
Post # 7
Definitely do not just "let it go". I’ve been to a few weddings and never received a thank you, and it really irritates me. I feel like if the bride never had the courtesy to even thank me, I wasted my time and money going to her wedding. BETTER LATE THAN NEVER. Just pound them out with a profuse apology about "you know how time gets away from us, but I wanted to let you know that I truly appreciate your generosity".
If it bothers you now, it will bother you 10 years from now that you never thanked those people for your gifts. I think you really should just do it asap! You’ll feel much better!
Post # 8
I agree that you should just do it. I think especially since you sent some already. You might have a situation where one sister got her thank you, and another didn’t. So sending it late is better than just dropping it, and not sending at all.
It sounds like, the idea of having a year is a myth. There still seems to be a discrepency, but they agree a year is too long. (I checked out a couple of sites.)http://www.brides.com/etiquette/family_friends_guests_etiquette/qa/detail/3277/
The good news is that this is a common mistake. So maybe some of your guests don’t see this as bad etiquette. Or if they do, hopefully they’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that you didn’t. They’re probably just thinking you forgot. But it’s still nice to follow through. I like jhphi’s suggestion.
Post # 9
No big deal, imo. Just do it now. I have a feeling that people really don’t care if it’s late! They just think it’s so nice to even get a thank you note. So just mail them when you get a chance.
Post # 10
Agreed that it’s better late than never. Definitely just say you’re so sorry for the delay, really appreciated their gift, and we’ve been using it all the time and thinking of you, etc etc. It’ll be fine, but definitely better to do it than "let it go"
Post # 11
Definitely send them! I sent a gift for a wedding once and never got a thank you note. I wasn’t insulted or anything, but I did wonder whether the couple ever recieved my package. I figured they did, but I will never know since it wasn’t acknowledged.
Post # 12
Monty900 – I so agree. I took a gift to a wedding and never recieved a thank-you. It was less about not recieving the thank you note and more about me wondering if they got it, or if they got it, but not the card, etc.
Post # 13
Thank you everyone! This is JUST what I needed to hear and I completely agree! I’m going to start working on them now. I really appreciate all the feedback- more than you know!!! Good to know there are more people on the same page with this subject. 🙂
Post # 14
Just a little story from a guests perspective:
My parents went to a wedding last summer and gave a card with cash. They didn’t get a thank you card for months and they thought that their card had been stolen. They were in an awkward position becuase they didn’t want to ask if the couple had gotten the card and look like they were looking for a "thank you" but they also didn’t want the couple to think they hadn’t given them anything. About 10 months after the wedding, the Thank You card arrived and my parents were happy to find that no one had stolen the card.
Post # 15
My mom did not say thank you for a gift she was given when I was born. She had every intention to, but time went on. She thought it was too late. Now here we are 31 years later and she still feels guilty!
Post # 16
I never got a thank you for a wedding gift I sent. It was about 9 months ago. I’d still appreciate it if the bride and groom sent a thank you, just to know they got the gift and appreciated it.