(Closed) Big Time Bridesmaid Drama! Need Advice!(little long sorry)

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: what should i do?
    keep B : (8 votes)
    33 %
    keep C : (0 votes)
    keep both : (16 votes)
    67 %
    ditch both (kindly) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3126 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    Im between ditching C and keeping both. You can always ask both and then ask C to step down if she causes problems. Or discuss with her beforehand how you would be honored if both B & C would be a part of your big day, but ONLY if C and her boyfriend will treat B respectfully.

    Plus, where does C’s boyfriend get off throwing an ultimatium in about YOUR wedding? “I won’t come if she does?” Uhm… okay buddy, see you later!

    Post # 4
    Member
    1765 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I think if you can talk to C about her and her boyfriend treating B respectfully-that would be a good thing!

    Post # 5
    Member
    9 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    If they really are your best friends, they should be willing to set aside their differences for one of the most important days of your life. I would keep them both on, but have individual talks with each of them.

    I’d tell both of them that they’ve been great friends to you and that you want your wedding to be a celebration of both romantic love and of friendship. Say that you want to include love in all its form and that means including the people that are the most important to you – including both of them. 

    Explain that you know that there are issues, but that you would love nothing more than to include both of them in your wedding party. State that there is a condition, however: no drama. If one is going to be insulting, attack the other, or cause problems, then you will have to ask that person to step down. Give each of them the option to back out right now if they can’t handle that stipulation, stating that you love them the same either way.

    Make sure to also say that you are having the exact same talk with each of them so that they don’t feel singled out.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1032 posts
    Bumble bee

    First of all, I am so sorry you are stuck in the middle of all this drama, that is so hard. I am sorry about this guy and whatever he did to B and it is so hard to see a friend you care about with a guy you feel uncomfortable about.

    I say keep both, and if the man doesn’t come, that would be great! If both girls are good friends to you, I am sure they will be composed for the big day. If there is too much drama due to C, I would warn her that if she can’t control herself she needs to step down. If drama ensues, you need to demote her because your peace and sanity is crucial, but in a kind way. Be sure to treat them both equally of course as well. 

    Good luck! (hug)

    Post # 7
    Member
    7976 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I would keep them both if I were in your shoes.

    C and her boyfriend can make the choice for themselves whether it’s appropriate for him to attend or not.

    Post # 8
    Member
    505 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I would tell them both to grow up.  They are adults right?  And they are pretty much fighting over a guy?  

    I would be blunt about it since I can’t stand when people aren’t forthright about things.  

    Tell them: Both of your are my best friend.  I want both of you there.  Just because I am best friends with either of you doesn’t mean you have to be friends at all. I don’t want bickering, I don’t want drama over a boy-this day is about MINE & MY HUSBANDS happiness and willingness to share it with the people that I love, not over some middle school boy fright..  B: crappy situation for you, I get it, but it’s over and he’s happy with C.   C: Tell him to shut his mouth and smile for the night.  Do not say anything to B; if you do, I will pop you in the mouth GOT IT!? 

    If they still can’t get over their differences that’s their problem.  I didn’t vote in the poll but from your post-it sounds like you have already made up your mind.  Trust in your heart you’ll do the right thing.  Remember, friendship’s don’t always have to last a lifetime, people come in go in your life for a reason.  

    Good Luck!

    Post # 11
    Member
    5978 posts
    Bee Keeper

    The more and more you post, the more I’m voting for you to keep B and drop C. C sounds ridiculously toxic and childish and not a good friend at all. She should have respect for YOU and not try to meddle with another one of your friends’ relationships. I say drop her…she doesn’t sound like a very good friend at all.

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