Post # 1
Read this article- surely the results are skewed as people are self-reporting and they only check in after 7 years I think. Any sociology bees see holes in the study or do you think it’s true!? Maybe people with big weddings are more showy individuals, more likely to boast, and too embarrassed to admit failure after such a big wedding display? Just a theory.
Post # 2
MrsBuesleBee: In addition to the reasons you’ve listed, I think there are a lot of factors that could contribute to this such as parental help, socioeconomic status, etc. I would imagine that a marriage which starts of with little to no debt is bound to be less stressful than one that is $30k+ in the hole due to a wedding. Either way, I don’t think having a big, fancy wedding will fix a troubled relationship.
Post # 4
housebee: This, times 1,000. Those who have big wedding are probably, on average, somewhat better off financially than those who don’t. And, seeing as how money id the number one reason for divorce, I think we’re missing a third uniting factor in all this. Correlation does not imply causality.
Post # 5
Laurenplusalex: yes that makes a lot of sense and the article didn’t even broach the possibility.
Post # 6
Laurenplusalex: Also, people who can afford bigger more expensive weddings may have higher education and be older, both of which are correlated with lower divorce rates.
So yeah, don’t blow the bank on a huge wedding because you think it will lower your risk of divorce haha.
Post # 7
I would have to see the raw data before I could draw conclusions. Either way, correlation does not equal causation.
Assuming for now that the results are correct…
– The statistic about sexual partners is probably related to the divorce statistic that couples who have already been divorced stand a higher chance of divorcing during a subsequent marriage. Whilst this could be interpreted negatively (the partners have not worked on their issues from their first unsuccessful marriage, and therefore the same issues keep coming up), it could also be interpreted positively. The divorcees are no longer afraid of divorce… before, they stayed in bad relationships out of habit and fear. However, now that they know they can survive divorce, they are more likely to pull the plug on other bad relationships. Likewise, because a person knows that there is other stuff out there, they are less likely to tolerate poor behaviour. They are also less likely to tolerate a partner who refuses to address issues and change their behaviour.
– The statistic about living together is one I’ve heard before, and is probably largely to do with religious groups who do not live together before marriage and do not believe in divorce either, and who would never admit dissatisfaction in marriage. These groups probably also skew the figures about fewer sexual partners and marital satisfaction.
– The cohabitation statistic… I actualy had this debate with someone a while back. I believe (but cannot prove) that the difference lies in couples who sort of slide into cohabitation and have oops babies, compared to those who plan a long term future together within which cohabitation is part of the road which will lead to marriage.
– Formal weddings being linked to happiness is probably due to religious couples (again). Also, couples with strong and supportive families would be more likely to want to invite them to a formal wedding (the supportive family help the couple in their marriage). Finally, people who have more money are likely to have bigger and more formal weddings. As money is the one thing most often cited in divorce cases, being financially secure (and therefore having a formal or large wedding) makes life a lot easier.
This almost certainly has bugger all to do with “more witnesses = more commitment”. Stupid authors. Weird conclusions…
Post # 8
Rachel631: excellent points- again makes much more sense than the article which can be summed up as …. If you’re not a virgin having a huge wedding you’re screwed.
Post # 9
I am a sociology grad student and my first thought was that if such an relationship exists, I would attribute it to higher social capital being correlated with bigger weddings (more extensive social network and stronger ties with that network probably means more people invited to the wedding) also bigger weddings to me suggest more social resources as well as financial resources (friends and family pitching in with time, money, skills, emotional support to make the big wedding happen). And these social resources are then called upon to support the success of the marriage.
I would also want to know if they made any effort to control for religiosity, which is positively correlated with wedding size and negatively correlated with divorce.
Post # 10
Laurenplusalex: Money is a big reason for divorce but it is also a huge reason miserably unhappy people stay together (divorce will really hurt lifestyle) so I think it evens out in the long run.
Post # 11
It would be interesting to see the raw data or more conclusions besides just that statistics.
I imagine that people with bigger weddings are more likely to succeed because:
A. As everyone has pointed out, they are probably in a better financial position. *Most* people don’t have big weddings unless they can afford it.
B. Large support group. If you have a large wedding, you probably have a large family or close group of friends that you can turn to for advice and support. Plus, having lots of close friends increases the odds of someone telling you when you’re making a mistake. An aquaintance or distant relative telling me they don’t like my SO? Eh, I’m not going to care. But if my best friend or parents or brothers didn’t like my SO, I’d definitely wonder why and wonder if they saw something I didn’t.
C. Along with B, a large wedding usually indicates that you have a large family and/or group of friends. This means that you’re probably good building AND maintaining relationships with people. So you could infer that would also be good at building and maintaining a romantic/martial relationship.
D. The odds are that the more people you know the more likely it is you’ll encounter other couples with healthy marriages to serve as examples. I think one can get a lot of benefit from observing other successful couples.
Post # 12
RunsWithBears: interesting to think about how much community/family support might make a difference.