Weddingbee boards

I recently posted on another site and got such rude, hateful, horrible comments I'm literally in tears right now. So if anyone has a snarky response then please don't bother responding. If you want to give me a hard time please send me a message instead.

Let me explain the situation first. A few months ago my husband and I had a very brief civil ceremony. It only included the JOP and the two of us. There was some drama on his side of the family, others were out of state and a few others were taking care of his cousin who was recently in a terrible car accident. I'm not originally from this area so it was IMPOSSIBLE for anyone to travel 1,000 miles. I guess you could say we got a little impatient and really wanted to get married. I fully understand that the civil ceremony WAS our wedding and I'm not saying in ANY SINGLE WAY that a civil ceremony isn't. We had made plans (previous to getting married) to have a larger wedding but as I said, we got a little impatient.

We decided to have another ceremony next year. I've read a few different things that say it's perfectly okay to have a "second" wedding and other say that this would simply be a vow renewal so there is no point in a bridal party, nice dress, etc. So as of right now I don't know if I should call it a "second wedding" or "vow renewal." The responses I received on the other site said it was a ridiculous idea, I'm incredibly rude for wanting something more than a civil ceremony, I need to give up the idea of a wedding because it's just a vow renewal, people are just gonna talk about us and things of that nature. We had no intentions of registering or having any bachelor/bachelorette party. 

The bottom line is this: We want EVERYONE to be included and EVERYONE to celebrate with us. We are paying for a great portion of this so everyone can come and have a good time. Even though everyone knows we're married I really don't see the harm in having bridesmaids, a cake, music and so on. My dad did the same thing when I was younger and nobody had any problems with it (just with his wife lol).

I dunno, I'm so confused. It almost feels like everyone is saying, "If you would have waited then you could have had something more spectacular. But since you didn't you aren't allowed to have the dress, cake or anything else that every girl dreams of from early on. You only get this, this and this. If you do it your way you'll just look like a lying fool and you'll be nothing but a joke!" I thought this would be better for everyone since they can play a bigger part, it can be more religious, we can write our vows and will have so much more to include in them, my dad can walk me down the aisle (I'm his only daughter and his only child) and it would mean so much to my mom (I'm the "baby" and my older sister died when she was very young).

I hope this makes sense. Thank you everyone :) 

@auggiefrog:  I see you're from Tosa. I'm from Kenosha but I worked in Tosa for a while. Lived in Waukesha, Milwaukee, Elkhorn, the list goes on and on lol. I would really like to plan it the way I want but these people made me feel terrible and selfish. It's more for everyone else than just us. Sure, I want a pretty dress and all but I want to share the day with everyone, not be a bridezilla.

@jayebaby:  I would greatly appreciate a hug!  I'm steering clear of that site from now on. I'll probably delete my account as well. Makes me sick how people act nowadays. 

Thank you so much ladies! It means so much to have some support in this! Our friends and family are more than thrilled with us having a bigger wedding. All of them are well aware that we're already married too. It just really upsets me because what I posted was in regards to a particular location that we're planning on having everything at. Then someone asked about my "husband" and it just went downhill from there. I didn't explain the situation because, frankly, it isn't any of their business.

@auggiefrog:  I totally agree!

@takemyhand:  Oh yea, I know that some won't be able to attend. They've already let me know but I told them that I would still like to send them an invite anyway.