- 3 years ago
- Wedding: December 2016
I am usually great at making HUGE life changing decisions but this one is even to big for me, and I just dont know what to do…… please please hang in there (it might be long) and I would appreciate any advice from any perspective.
Background: I pop in here every once in a while, but my DH and I work and live on cruise ships. He is South African and we have been married about 2 years. We are both in our early 30’s.
The original plan: After finishing this last contract in April. We were going to take our savings (we have a decent amount because or our job), buy a place in Vegas for about 200 – 300 and he was going to apply for his citizenship. The downside is that I would have to work because he cant for about 8 months and it would be starting in a new field. We want kids RIGHT AWAY because we are getting a little older and want 2 – 4. Also we dont know anyone in Vegas and have no family there. Most of our savings would go to furninshing this place and the 20 percent down. Also we dont really know what it is like to have to pay utlilties, gas, insurances, etc. etc. etc……
The plan that was just offered to us: We move to a smaller beach community in South Africa. Mu husband would take over his father’s business and a house would be bought for us through the business. The mortgage and bills would be paid through the business. We would buy a small apartment in Vegas (so we would have US dollars coming in) we also would pay off our other property in South Africa so we would have income from that. My hubby would also take over his father’s smaller winery business and start a brewery (his dream). I would be a stay at home mom or work in my old field (performing), where in South Africa my credentials are pretty good. My DH is much closer to his family than mine, so we would have nieces nephews and his parents about an hour away. Also, the US money coming in, half would go to a retirement fund and the other half would just be money so we could visit the states each year. (My DH family takes off the month of December every year) I would also come to the States to have each child.
I have researched the private school in South Africa and it is wonderful. It is EXPENSIVE in South Africa terms but since we have our US money coming in, it is do-able. My kids would be in class sizes around 10 people with archery, horseback riding, multiple languages, drama, art etc. I have also researched the crime and this city is pretty safe.
I make the decision to move and then I FREAK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant tell if this is normal or my gut is telling me it is the wrong move. My husband is supportive either way but I need to make a decision soon so we can ship what we have over.
Advice??????? Maybe older Bees who can give me perspective on what is important in life (their is no Starbucks in SA:), or how to tell my family (I want to cry when I think of breaking their hearts). Do I do this for my DH because work wise it is what he wants. I am giving my kids the best there (because of school and I wont be working full time or they will be missing out on what the US has to offer)
Feel free to ask me questions, maybe someone will think of something that I haven’t yet.