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I'm not far enough along in wedding planning to really have encountered any "OMG, I can't believe they did that" moments. But I love reading about them. I can't believe some people can be so clueless!!!
My MIL invited people to our engagement party and my bridal shower that weren't invited to the wedding. There's been other little comments here and there, but that was the worst.
Let's see - I got an invitation with a card that said this "No registry has been created. Monetary gifts will be accepted." I went to an engagement party/housewarming and brought a giftcard and did not recieve a thank you note, call, card nothing. Same for the gift I bought for the bridal shower. I'll keep you posted on if I get a thank you for the wedding that is on Good Friday...
I was in my BF's wedding two years ago. It was out in California, and I must have spent over 1,000.00 to be in her wedding. I never received a written or verbal Thank You for her shower gift, wedding gift, or for just being in her wedding . To this day, it still ticks me off when I think about it.
Wow I havent had any of these to date.. but these are some pretty bad ones.
Old friend of mine got married last summer. On her wedding website she suggested pre-loaded VISA gift cards (I know that hints of a preference of monetary gifts is acceptable, but she was basically like, please don't give less than $20). Her reception was at a nice restaurant- and we all paid for our own meal. The mother of the groom wore a beautiful, long....white dress. Classy event.
a friend of a friend got married last year and put a note on their website that said "please consider making a donation to defray our costs" and then it had button you could click to make online donations 5 months before the wedding!!
I went to a shower where guests were asked to address their own envelopes for their thank-you cards.
@waves2- I had the same experience for my college roomie! I was the MOH in her wedding and planned the shower and bachelorette(which is part of the MOH duties). I shelled out over $1000.00 for everything and never even got a thank you note for any gifts or any of the time I spent working on her parties. It was only me and one other BM that even attended the bachelorette and she said "i'll throw you some bucks later, I'm broke right now"... needless to say, I never saw ANY "bucks" from her! RUDE!
@Mrs.Oat: I have been to a shower where they did the same thing. And the funny thing is, that was the only thank you card I got--I did not receive one for the actual wedding. I guess if we don't address our own cards, it's too much work for the bride...
I think the paying for your own meal for the reception is the worst so far. I am personally not that worried about thank you's (as in I will send them out, but I'm not worried if I don't get one) but paying for the reception dinner is crazy. I've also filled out address for the thank you in just about every shower I've been to. Usually they draw an envelope out of a basket and you get a gift or something. It always trips me out to see my own handwriting when I get it back though.
I got a generic preprinted thank you card from a wedding that said "Thank you for your presence and your presents" seriously, I thought that was very tacky!
@Mrs.Oat: I have been to a baby shower where we were asked to do this. We have still not received a thank you card, the baby will be 3 years old in Fall.
@LetsGoPens: Wow. I know after the baby arrives it's a very busy time, but how about before? LOL
I received a wedding invitation with a 'registry' card that was a link to a website with a statement that no actual gifts were welcome, only money and it had to be paid online, no envelopes at the wedding. I was floored.
I thought it was rude when I went to a cousins small wedding and the groom never said hello or introduced himself to me. It's not like he was busy during the reception the couple was just sitting there the whole time, never made the rounds.
I received a generic 'thank you' printout for a wedding gift I gave a year earlier. I know I only received it because the couple was expecting and planning a baby shower.
@Mrs.Oat: That's happened at like, every shower I've been to.
@bells: That's insane!
My shower hostess has guests address envelopes as well, and then used them to draw for prizes, and we do this at most wedding/baby showers in my family.
My two worst ones though were a couple who had the DJ announce "John and Jane thank everyone for their gifts, and would like to advise that they will not be sending out thank you cards".
Worst guest behavior I encountered at our wedding, is that someone who came from out of town came up to me after the ceremony and told me "Sorry, we can't make it to the reception. We don't make it to this area very often, and want to make it worth the trip" and went and did touristy stuff.
@Mrs.Oat: Same here. I didn't think much of it at the time but now looking back, ick.
Two that stick out...
1. The DJ completely forgot to announce the Best Man and Maid of Honor. This wasn't the fault of the bride & groom, but it was a blunder.
2. General lack of thank you cards from one individual who I have been friends with for 25 years. I was a bridesmaid, bent over backwards, spent over $1,000 to be a part of her special day...includes the bridal shower. And nodda. She then bad mouthed groom's family for nothing giving them enough or giving them gifts from Wal-mart or the $1 store. Less than a year later her sister and I threw her a baby shower and once again no thank you cards.
I think that's about it.
If I received a note card addressed to me in my own handwriting I would assume it was results of my PAP test since that is how my GYN sends those results.
Heck though, if I was going to be tacky enough to have guests address their own envelopes I might consider taking it even a step tackier....... why don't you just go ahead and have your friend that records the gifts as they are opened go ahead and write the note right then and there. That way the bride could hand them out at the door as her guests leave and and then task all done, and no bother to bride 
I love reading about these just for the WTF?!?!?! factor. Some of these are just unbelievable. Even though it seems to be common, I still can't get over people essentially demanding money. Your marriage is not a f*#king fundraiser, people. You are not ENTITLED to money as a prize for getting married. SHEESH.
@SapphireSun: Asking your DJ to announce that seems almost worse than just not doing thank-yous at all!!
I haven't had any egregious violations yet - although my fiance's brother and his wife never sent us a thank-you for our gift at their wedding, which was approximately 4 years ago. And I know it didn't just get lost in the mail - their mom told my FI about a year after the wedding that they hadn't send out any and she was totally mortified.
@BrideForADay_WifeForALifetime: LOL! I received the thank-you card about 11 months later, after I had forgotten all about the self-addressing incident. I was completely confused as to why I had sent myself a card.
@SapphireSun: We always do the envelope/prize pull at showers too! Every time I play that game the people around me always comment "Ooooh that's so smart!", so I don't think it's a horrible thing, just helpful for the new mom/wife-to-be!
We couldn't get seats at a friend's wedding because someone brought their kids to the wedding who took our spot at the table. Then the staff squished us in and we had to remove all our side plates so that we could all fit at the table.
A very good friend of mine got married 2 years ago, never sent thank yous, and instead burned me a CD of some of the songs they played at her wedding and just handed it to me at her house saying that was the best she could do. No label on it, no case nothing. I have no idea where it is now or if I would even recognize it if I found it.
We had a guest ask if he could bring his ex-wife to our wedding after he and his GF broke up. We said no, but he brought her anyways. Awwwwwkkkkkkkwarrrrrrrrd. There was no escort card, place setting, nothing for her. We had to scramble to get her situated. Ugh.
@moderndaisy: That "registry" card is kind of crazy! I feel like some people have gotten so far away from the intention of wedding gifts and people's desire to help you celebrate a milestone in your life. I get that not everyone needs a new toaster and many people prefer cash, but while gifts are appreciated, they're also optional! If someone wants to get me a gift, it's really up to them what they would like to give and when and how they would like to give it to me. It's a gift, not a business deal!
@SapphireSun: I seriously just said WTF outloud at work.... "The couple would like to publicly announce their decision to not give a enough of a crap about your time and efforts to celebrate with them before you have time to wonder why they didn't"
@bakerella:Ohhh, you just made me think of one! My cousin married a guy who was estranged from his father, but decided to invite him to try to "mend some fences". His father responded that he will be bring his wife AND his girlfriend!! The two women also showed up to the shower which was a luncheon at a restaurant. The hostesses didn't serve booze, but the wife and girlfriend ordered alcohol on their own and got s--tfaced!
@Mrs.Oat: I've been to quite a few showers, and hosted quite a few showers where we had people address their return envelope for the thank you card. It saves the bride/mom-to-be, etc from having to gather everyone's address, as she now has it for everything she needs, and it saves her a bit of time from having to address the envelope. The people who have I've experienced this with all thought it was a great idea to help save the bride/mother-to-be time. Would you mind sharing why you felt this experience was bad etiquette? I genuinely would like to know as I am planning my own wedding and if it really is that bad, I wouldn't want to offend any one. :) Thanks so much!
@SapphireSun:WOW! I can't believe they asked the DJ to announce that! How grossly tacky!
@Mrs.Oat: Okay...I'm continuing to read through the comments and am so frustrated to see how many people never actually send their TY cards! Yuck! I would expect that if I'm addressing my own TY card, that I would get it much sooner. That's really sad. :(
WOW!!! I think the biggest offense I have encountered is folks asking to bring dates. I'm sorry but I think it is rude. As adults, we should be able to go places alone and if we just simply can't leave the house alone, then decline the invite. a) I don't want some random person at the wedding and b) if I had room, then I would have included a plus 1 on the invite.
Can you tell this has happened to me far more than I care. LOL
@TandJ209: I felt it sends the message "Thanks for coming, and thanks for your gift, but I can't be bothered to write your name and address on an envelope. You're saving me SO MUCH TIME! It's such a chore to find out your address, or hand-deliver a thank-you note if that's how you got invited to this shower in the first place!"
OK, maybe I'm exaggerating. But in all seriousness, it still felt like she felt thank-you notes were just a chore to get through, and we were expected to make it easier on her.
@TandJ209: I think that if you already have the person's address so you can send them the invite, you should already have this same address to put on the 'thank you' card later. It really does not make any sense to me from a 'thanker's' perspective why they are asking the 'thankee' to address him/herself!? It takes away so much from the actual 'thanks'. I mean, you couldn't spend the time to write the address? If you will go so far as to thank, why fall short of not completing the sentiment from start to finish?
That sort of thing.... Hope that helps clear that up!
@Sasha2011: Yes, exactly. I almost felt like "would you like me to include a post-it saying what gift I brought, so you don't have to figure it out later?"
It takes away from the thoughtfulness of a thank-you note, and turns it into an expected burden complete with checklist (1. Say thanks for attending, 2. Insert name of gift here, 3. Add a line about how much we love it and what we plan to do with it, etc.).
thank you note: "thanks for the slow cooker which returned for plates that we liked"
(and, for the record, i bought them the slow cooker they wanted, but unfortunately someone bought a duplicate)
@Mrs.Oat: @Sasha2011 I agree. You had no problem finding the address and writing out the envelope to invite me to the party...
@Sasha2011: & Lida: Thanks for that insight! I guess being in a small town makes it a bit different. We're a part of a large (for our town) church, but it feels like a close-knit family. So when I've attended showers, I was usually personally given the invite by a member of the bridal party (usually a family member). We aren't supposed to use our church address directory for personal use, and since the invite was handed to me, I guess it's never seemed to offend anyone to address their envelope at a shower. Then again, we've also never had to wait long for a thank you, and it seems that they've always had a very personal note included. But I definitely see your points of view and better understand what message the "address your TY envelope" sends. Thanks again for explaining! 
@Mrs.Oat: That happened to me too! (It was a baby shower), It's not the most horrible thing in the world, but come on! Kinda stupid. although, this family isn't the classiest of people!
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