- 6 years ago
I really need advice on a big mistake I made a few years ago. 6 Years ago, I was in a relationship with a guy (we’ll call S) whom I was really in love with (like DEEPLY in LOVE). We lived in the same city for the first 2 years, after 2 years I moved to a city 2 hours away for teachers college but I started getting distant from him. I was selfish and wanted to meet new people. So being the horrible bitch I was, I picked fights with him, blamed things on him that really didn’t matter. So I broke it off, I was single and happy, and he was miserable and heartbroken. After 3 months of being single and meeting random guys, I realized how much I missed and loved him so I went back to “S” we were happy again.
A year goes by and my same feelings about being single come back. I met a guy in my city whom I liked. Basically history repeats itself, and I break it off with S again leaving him thinking it was his fault for the break up. He’s devastated, completely heartbroken yet again. This new guy I dated treated me horribly, we dated for a few months but then I met a new guy “K” I thought K was my soulmate, we had so much in common, I fell in love fast with him. Only after a month of dating him, I move 6hours away to be with him. 2 months after moving to “K”s city, I realized what an ass he was and we mutually broke up.
Last year, I hear that “S” has a new girlfriend after lots of mourning of our relationship, he was finally able to move on. I was really devastated. So I started contacting him again via text/phone calls, I think it was the idea of S having a new girl just really hit me, I thought I wanted him back. He secretly talked to me via phone and text (nothing romantic just mainly catch up) behind his girl’s back. She finds out and was super upset so he cuts off all ties to me.
Now they’ve been together just a little over a year. And I now know that I love and want him more than anything. I can’t picture my life without him. But I have a feeling he wants nothing to do with him. I made the biggest mistake of my life ever letting him go (twice). I know the girl he is with is NOT the one. She’s the very jealous type, doesn’t let him do anything or go out anywhere. I hear from his friends that he’s just settling with her and isn’t truly happy with her.
I want to tell him how I feel but not sure if I have the right to come back into his life. I know if we end up together again, I would never hurt him again and the trust would take a long time for me to earn back. I know how much I hurt him and I hate myself for it. All I know is that he IS my other half, it may be too late but shouldn’t I at least tell him how I feel and see if I still stand a chance? If he wants nothing to do with me, then fine, I’ll have to move on L but I really don’t want to be looking back in 10 years thinking “what if I had told him how I felt”
Do I tell him or leave him alone?