This Gawker atricle had me thinking of a few posts I've seen on the bee—but this is much worse. I'll never get how some brides think they can walk all over their bridesmaids and treat them like trash. Bride who wrote this email to her bridesmaids—if you are on the bee, please identify and defend yourself!
Here is the email with Gawker's comments:
http://gawker.com/5948725/reasons-why-you-cannot-be-a-bridesmaid
Here is the email the bride wrote to her bridesmaids. It's unbelieveable!
To m lovely Bridesmaid: [Names removed to protect the brideslaves]
As you all know I picked 10 wonderful ladies to stand by my side, share and make happen my special day to Jake. Each of you individually have a reason and a special place in my heart of why I picked you to be a bridesmaid. We have set our date for Saturday, August 31, 2013 in Vail, Colorado. That seems far away but it really isn't, the earlier the planning the better. You may have already knew that my wonderful sister L— will be the Maid of Honor, she's in charge under me. Also my lovely mom will be a big help as well. L— has a big role in throwing me a bridal shower and bachelorette party, of course all of you guys do but at the end of the day shes the go to person and makes it happen+Doe.
You all have a big roll in this wedding, so before we continue I'm going to be setting some ground rules and its very important you read and think about everything through before you accept this honor to be a bridesmaid. If you guys email anything I would also like you to put L— in the CC. Not all the bridesmaid need to be CC'd unless its coming from me or L—, if it something everyone needs to see then well do it. We set the date to August 31, 2013 if that's a problem we need to know NOW. Also by the end of the week we will be setting dates for the engagement party, bridal show and bachelorette party.
Our wedding party is really the most important people at the wedding besides my self and Jake so we want every single one of our bridesmaid and grooms at our parties, I have 10 not 8 where two couldn't make it so if you already know you cant make one of the parties then we have to find someone else, not to be harsh in the slightest it would sadden me and of course you'll still be invited to our wedding, engagement ect. But it's different if your not in the wedding party and couldn't make it. We'll give everyone well advance dates for the parties and it will always fall on a weekend. The wedding as I stated will be in Vail the engagement party will either be in NY or CT and the bachelorette party will be in Vegas, cliche yeaa but I've never been.
A few girls live out of town so if there is going to be a problem with coming to either one then I need to know now because after this week I don't want to be surprised. I would like everyone to send me any dates they are going away or planning to go away after February so if your going away in January I don't care. I want any dates from February to the day of our wedding in August, that way we know not to plan something when your away. But after this week the dates are set in stone. Also if money is tight and you cant afford to contribute to say the bachelorette party or wont be able to afford a dress etc then L— and Myself don't have time to deal with that, I'm sorry. This includes flights as well, everyone knows the states where the parties are going to be held so if you wont be able to afford a flight then that means you cant make a party which ultimately means I cant have you as a bridesmaid. Obviously we'll get the best deals and were not gonna books flights for $1000 and shit that's why were doing this in advance, that goes for bridesmaids dresses as well everything will be affordable but if you think by affordable its going to be a $25 forever 21 dress then your going to the wrong wedding.
If your out of state though don't think you have to fly in for all fittings, that we will work with you, find stores in your town, get measurements..you don't have to worry about that. Also if you accept this honor another thing is that you need to be available, I'm not going to harass you with wedding stuff every hour of everyday but if its something important and it takes you a week even 2-3 days to get back to me seeeee ya! I don't have time to wait around for responses, everyone has their phone on them, it shouldn't take you more than a day to get back to me, even if your out of the country, check your email!
Furthermore, Ever since I could remember I have dreamed about this day all my life. I want to share it with the people that are most important to me. You only get one time to plan your dream wedding and I couldn't pick a more amazing group of girls to make that dream come true! So please, what's stated above think about it all and by Wednesday I need to know if everyone is 100% in, and what I have asked about sending me dates if your gonna be away between Feb-Aug ill need that on Wednesday. If you don't think you'll be able to attend one party but can make the rest of them I'm sorry but I'll have to take you out as a bridesmaid and put you as a guest. If you want to get back to me before Wednesday, that's fine. Really think about everything I've said. This is really going to be the most epic wedding ever so I hope you girls can share this special day with us!
Love,
I'm speechless. I couldn't imagine being this girls friend, let alone being in her wedding. She basically wants to control her bridesmaids lives for the next year!
I wish this was sent to me. I'd write a nice response and cc allll the bridesmaid's and L!! this is insane!!
I hope they all drop out on her. She deserves an epic wedding alright... an epic failure, that is.
Anyone who would even agree to this "epic" is missing a few marbles...I wouldn't even attend this wedding much less be a bridesmaid!
So once you commit to be a bridesmaid you're basically answering a series of court summons?
I would be so offended if I recieved this kind of email and I would most definitely call her out on it. But then again, myself, all my friends and bridesmaids are not high maitenance girls.
The bride writes:
"You all have a big roll in this wedding..."
You reckon that's kaiser roll, or sesame seed?
(the whole role/roll thing really bothers me, and if you're going to be all bossy already, maybe you can boss someone into proofreading for you first...)
At least she's honest? I would reply back with rules for the correct use of your/you're
Not going to lie, because it's taken right out of a message, when I read that I felt that she was talking to me and it definately scared me hahaha.
That is just... wow. Wow. I would decline that honor as fast as I possibly could!
I would have replied with:
It's you're not your, and no, as in "no, I do not want to be your bridesmaid."
hugs, kisses, and all that other shit.
Bunny
For some reason the whole thing is made worse by the fact that this woman can't spell and doesn't use correct punctuation. What an absolute b*tch! I hope none of her bridesmaids agree to be in her wedding party.
I hope to god that getting married couldn't turn any of my friends into such a mega-bitch. Sorry for the language but I am just speechless and there are no other words for it. I can't imagine that anyone I've chosen to have in my life would treat others this way. If I actually got this e-mail...yeah, I'd be out. For both the wedding and that person's life.
@Wonderstruck: "If I actually got this e-mail...yeah, I'd be out. For both the wedding and that person's life." <-- THIS!
Ok, who's the fool who proposed to this bitch?
Oh, and also, some of the comments on gwker are pretty freaking unbelievable too. Like there's one saying she wishes she'd been a bitch to her bridesmaids because she ended up paying money because two of them bailed on the bachelorette party to Napa which they told them about six months ahead of time. In what world do you just inform your BMs that they're expected to fork over the dough for a bachelorette party in another part of the country? When did them taking you out for a night out on the town not become enough? Now it's like unless it involves a limo or party bus or plane tickets brides want to turn up their noses at the party plans.
What makes me sad is can't imagine ever, ever talking to my friends like that. This is not what you send to friends. This girl isn't even thinking like a friend - she just wants to fill 10 dresses and has even up front said that she'll just go looking for someone else. Eugh, that's enough, I'll stop there.
maybe its cause I skimmed through it to much but I didn't find this to be the super worst thing ever.
If I was in a wedding I'd want the bride to be super upfront before so I knew what I was getting my self into and had the chance to get the hell out.
this was a blessing in disguise lol
I can't even. no. I can't.
k now I can. I wouldn't be able to be in her wedding for the sheer fact that I don't have thousands to blow on hotels/flights/parties. If you miss one party you're not a bridesmaid anymore? Crazy. No. No, crazy lady, I will not be a bridesmaid.
You know, I agree with most of what she said (we can't afford to pay for you, I need to know if I can rely on you, etc).
HOWEVER...
Could she have been any more "me me me" about this? Phrasing is everything and she came off like a COMPLETELY spoiled bride instead of someone reasonably trying to get her ducks in a row.
@MrsFutureG: Yes, but there is a huge gigantic difference between, "I need to know how much you can afford to spend on dresses" and "If you don't pay for plane tickets, hotel costs, and chip in for the engagement party, shower bachelorette, and any other dates I decide are important, you're out of the wedding."
I think she needs to explain more than just her bad 'up herself' attitude. She should also explain her crimes against the English language!!! How many times did she use 'your' when it should have been 'you're'?
I'm not sure which offends me more...
@MrsFutureG: totally agree. Well, at least she is upfront about what she expects! (I think it's almost worse when a bride flips out on people 1 month before the wedding b/c they aren't able to make it to some event.)
I love how she says that each of the girls play both important roles and that "I want to share it with the people that are most important to me. You only get one time to plan your dream wedding and I couldn't pick a more amazing group of girls to make that dream come true!"
But, she's so ok with booting them so easily and uses it as a threat. Personally, if I have ten girls in my wedding party then I really wouldn't have that many substitutes to throw in if one drops out because when you think about it, that is alot of gfs iin the first place. Maybe she shouldn't be so hasty to want to drop girls. What an ungrateful b*. No one has to be a bridesmaid, it should be an honor to be one for a bride, as well as an honor that bridesmaids accept that invitation, its not something friends have to do for each other. Being a bridesmaid is a courtesy to a friend in the first place, she seems like she has a sense of entitlement that all of her friends must drop everything for her.
Oh my goodness! That is just ridiculous!
And me being a grammar/spelling OCD, of course I notice there are lots of spelling/grammar errors.
Your when it should be you're: 'if your out of state', 'your not in the wedding party', etc.
'Our wedding party is the most important people', it should be 'our wedding party members are the most important people' or 'our wedding party is the most important group of people'
roll instead of role
its instead of it's
I feel very sorry for who she marries (not because of the spelling by the way), she treats her bridesmaids horribly, I worry how she treats him.
I wonder what kind of email she writes to girls 11-20 when girls 1-10 say no thanks....
Engagement party in NYC, wedding in Vail, and bachelorette party in Vegas? Umm, wow.
Haha, I seriously hope Caity Weaver wrote that email just to have an article with more pageviews. But yeah...its probably real. Which is so sad. I hope that girl turned down that "honor."
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