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So what are your biggest pet peeves, either as a bride or as a guest?
As a bride, I had a pretty good group of guests, but I couldn't stand people not RSVPing. Or a couple of people RSVP'd yes, but didn't show. (And no word saying, sorry they were sick. Just didn't have the courtesy to come, after we paid for their dinner.)
As a guest I had a bad experience being invited to a wedding, "no guest". But my borther got an invitation, "with guest". I was the one in a relationship, not him, to boot. Also, the same invitiation I got was addressed to be with a nickname, not my given name,. (A nickname no one calls me but my immediate family.... As in I don't think they actually knew my real name.) And (the best part) the invitation had white out on it. (Probably an attempt at my given name, before they gave up.) Tacky!
I think RSVP issues will be the biggest peeves for me. (I'm not there yet, but I'm preparing for issues because every bride seems to have them.)
As a guest, I hate, HATE when the DJ gives the bride the mic during the bouquet toss so she can call out all of the single ladies who aren't on the dance floor. I hate participating in bouquet tosses! So, I don'tllike having my name announced and being "forced" to do it.
I'm worried about guests trying to get creative, and not buying stuff off our registry. Mr. MagPie and I are major foodies, and we're SO looking forward to starting our kitchen off right. But, I know some of his family are the types who buy outlet stuff, with no tags or receipts -- and to me, that's a bit rude!
As a Bride:
People not RSVPing.
Also- people calling constantly with questions instead of just going to the webapage that has all the answers on it! I worked on it for hours and hours and people just kept calling.
People being totally rude and calling up to ask if they can bring their kid or if I could invite their kid's SO or whatever.
As a guest:
The bouquet toss
A bad DJ so everyone sits around looking at each other instead of dancing
Getting seated with total strangers you have nothing in common with (I know how hard the seating arrangements are, but at a college friend's wedding myself and several other college friends got seated with the bride's older cousins- we had nothing in common to talk about and it was totally awkward)
As a guest...my BIGGEST pet peeve would be not having assigned seating. Even if you give me a table I'm ok...but to have nothing and just have a free for all is tacky, tacky, tacky and I will stand by that statement with my head held high.
Girls...take a moment and assign a seat!!!!!
(can you tell I'm passionate about this one?) 
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as a guest, I have a few:
- Long time between the ceremony and reception, all dressed up, with nothing to do (especially when I am an OOT guest).
-Bouquet toss, which I think makes the single girls feel awful (unless they are 22!) and the garter thing, which I think is just inappropriate
-Not having a way to get from reception back to the hotel (taxis, shuttle) - I don't drink and drive, ever! Once we almost got stranded at a reception because the taxi service wouldn't pick up their phone!
-Weddings that I can't go to without paying a ton of $$$$ for transportation or hotel.
as a bride, I can't really think of any!!!
@ Deviled Egg - I agree on the microphone thing, but try being the bride in that situation and having not. one. of your friends make a move to come up on stage. Yeah...it feels pretty crappy.
As a bride: So far RSVP were the only pain in my arse. Seriously out of 50 invites, I might have recieved 27 RSVPs back. And most of the culprits were Mr. Sushi's family and my friends. Thanks guys (sarcastic tone).
As a guest: The bouquet toss. 'nuff said.
As a bridesmaid: Being told what you can and cannot do (like cutting your hair, etc.). I like being able to sit by my SO instead of a head table.
It isn't a pet peeve, but I don't care for the garter toss.
As a bride, I don't have too many yet, except when people tell me my wedding will be too expensive so they aren't getting me a gift. If they don't want to get a gift, that's fine, but it kind of stresses me out when people make comments like that. No matter where we chose the location, people would have to travel, so we chose a more central location and picked a destination town, so people would not just enjoy the wedding, but the place itself. We even chose the off season to get guests better deals at hotels.
Definitely no RSVP's and wedding crashers. We had this couple (my Father In-law knew them mind you but not well enough to invite) show up with another couple. I went to each table and thanked everyone for coming and said hi to everyone and I got to them and introduced myself and they said oh well we came with Mr. and Mrs ________ I promise we are not wedding crashers....Yum yes you are!!!! They brought a gift and that really confirmed they were not invited when we went to address their thank you and did not have their name or address on our invitation spreadsheet.
I am 3 and a half months until the wedding, but I am already anticipating the frustration of rsvp's -- mainly caused by my family. I don't think they get the importance. Before another family member's wedding a couple of years ago, an aunt and my mom were talking about rsvps and my aunt said to her that no one pays attention to those. Uh, yeah, they do!! I just know people will rsvp and then decide the day of that they just don't feel like coming. Or they will rsvp and not realize that the invitation is just for them and not all their kids and kids SOs.
I'm in the beginning stages of planning, but one ting I find annoying is people who don't give two hoots about us saying "i'm invited, right?".
The only thing that I have found slightly annoying at other weddings is too much time between ceremony and reception.
as a guest:
1. little kids screaming and interrupting the ceremony and their parents not doing anything to stop them
2. cash bars without notice that it'll be a cash bar. I've only been to one wedding that had a cash bar and no they didn't tel us ahead of time.
3. a big gap between the ceremony and the reception.
RSVPing is a big issue- come if you say you are, and don't come if you don't reply !
I hate when weddings are unorganized. I went to a wedding last summer that was just one big unorganized mess- no one knew what was going on and we all just kind of followed the other persons lead. The wedding planner was WAY pregnant and not doing her job at all.
Also, it bothers me when you choose your entree, and they dont give an option for the children- then serve the kids something that they wont eat. Give me an option so I know if I need to buy him something else!- a wedding I went to had macaroni and chicken fingers for kids- which would have been fine if my child was remotely normal, but he doesn't like fried foods or macoroni.
I find DJ's to be, in general, annoying and is the reason I've chosen not to have one
I completely forgot about RSVP's! I am very stressed about this already. My aunt's family is known to RSVP yes and not show up. She was invited to a family wedding and RSVP'd for 10 and they didn't show up! At $100 a plate, I felt so bad for the bride nd grom, that ws an extra $1,000.00 they could have saved, if they just said no thanks.
As a guest:
Bouquet toss! Bouquet toss! Bouquet toss! :)
As a bride:
Being asked "So, are you excited?" over and over and over. :D
As a guest I hate having to wait for the food. I am freaking starving by dinner time and seems to take forever, especially the cake.
But now since I'm a bride I really think guests shouldn't really complain about anything. TThey are getting a free meal, drinks, cake and get favors out of it.
Oh and i too hate the screaming kids that are running around, as a bride and a guest. If that happens at my wedding I was thinking of just giving the evil eye to the parents. I mean you can't really say anything to them, can you?
MissEsq: I was seriously thinking that but then wouldn't parents be pissed off?
As a guest- I HATE when no one uses my last name. I have had 3 wedding invites come from my FI's friends addressed "Mr. FIRST LAST and Heather" WTF is that! We're all "friends" on facebook, take 2 seconds and look it up!! I even had one use his last name for me, and no, we're not married yet and they knew it!
As a bride: I'm sure the RSVP thing will be a pain, but 99% of our guests are OOT, so we should know who books their hotel rooms.
@roseychicklet: I second the website thing. So annoying!!
@Mrs. Corn
I see you feel strongly about the assigned seating issue, but I disagree. For extremely small weddings, or casual buffets, or passed appetizer receptions, there's just no need. And there's no need to accuse a lot of brides (myself included) of being tacky.
I'm am soooo with you on the kids thing. Screaming kids anywhere annoy me, but at a wedding? Arg!
As a guest: Djs. Really. Bother. Me.
As a bride: Vendors with poor communication skills, vendors who arrive late for appointments (or hold you over your appointment time!), pushy vendors, and the worst: I'm still planning, and I HATE it when someone says: "You're doing that? I have a better idea..." It's not your wedding. Stop planning mine!
MsJoe: I don't think the parents really have a right to get pissed off. there are just places you take kids and places you dont. If you were going to a fancy work or charity function you wouldn't take your kids so why would you take them to a fancy wedding. Most parents I know are thankful for a night off anyways Also, in my experience kids are supper bored at weddings anyways, (and that's where the destruction and screaming comes in). At every wedding I went to last sumer there were kids who were screaming during the ceremony, destroying the flowers at the reception, etc etc.
I know this a very controvertial topic and some people completely disagree with me which is fine. this is just my opinion.
People who RSVPed and added extra names who were not listed on the invite. One friend of ours wrote in the number attending box "2 maybe 3" when the invite was only for her and her husband. She ended up coming to the wedding with her sister and a friend of theirs - no husband.
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As a guest (although I'm sure these things would still bother me if I were a bride):
-- Long time between ceremony and reception
-- Multiple/too many toasts at reception, in which people all say the same things
-- I really don't like receiving lines. As discussed in another board post, it holds everyone up for a long time, and it's a bit awkward for some people. I want to talk to people at my reception. I want to talk to everyone, and I want to be able to say more than just, "Thank you for coming, it's nice to see you." If that means I spend the whole night chatting with people, that's okay with me.
-- the DJ playing tons of the common wedding stuff (the Electric Slide/Macarena/Chicken Dance, etc., plus any of the waaay over-used love songs, like "At Last.").
-- When I'm the bride, I might be offended if people complain about having to travel (if they can't afford/don't want to travel, they should not attend, rather than attending and complaining about it).
As a Guest: I agree with many of you - the bouquet toss. I went to two weddings since I've been engaged and people have hassled me to get in on the toss - I didn't like it when I was single, and I especially don't like now that I am clearly TAKEN.
- bad cake. I am a cake lover. I'm pretty much waiting for it all evening, and when its pretty on the outside, but terrible when eaten I'm let down.
- bad DJ. I just can't understand why someone would hire half these guys. We're going with an Ipod to make sure things go smoothly and thinking about hiring the sound guy from our chapel to man it.
8 month until I am a bride, but it sounds like RSVPs with soon drive me crazy!
- also a long time between reception and ceremony. Unless you can suggest something for me to do in the ceremony program.
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As a guest, my biggest pet peeves are: 1. Long gaps between the ceremony and reception, 2. Waiting a long time for food.
As a bride, I don't have too many pet peeves just yet. The main one I can think of is that our wedding is around the same time as the college world series, and my fiance's buddies are all HUGE baseball fans. Their favorite team is actually supposed to do well this year, and they keep telling me how if the team makes it to the series, they won't come to our wedding. At first I kind of laughed it off, but now it's taking a lot of willpower to keep from saying, "If a baseball game is more important to you than our wedding, we won't bother sending you an invitation!" I mean, we scheduled our wedding date nearly a hear ago - how were we supposed to know the team would magically be good this year!?
Funny and interesting comments!
As a guest, my biggest pet peeve is other guests behaving badly! Whether it's over-hearing snarky comments during the wedding, seeing them abusing the open bar and/or buffet, not having a handle on their children, or attempting to be the center of attention...and now that I've had my own wedding, I try to be a better guest out of consideration to the bride, groom, and their families.
We're not married yet, but I think my biggest pet peeve is the constant unsolicited advice about what I should do. Trust me, I've thought and thought and thought about all the options and I chose my favorite!
I'm sure the RSVPs will drive me insane. It kind of annoys me that my close friends (including my bridal party) keep talking about who they will bring as a date when none of them are seeing anyone serious. News flash to my MOH - why are you insisting on bringing someone? You will be busy and he won't know anyone.
hmmm. id have to say that as a guest i hate
2 hour long monotonus ceremonies as well as a super long wait between the wedding and reception... & screaming unruly children during either.
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Oh, yeah, I forgot the "unruly children" thing. So help me, if I had children playing hide-n-seek and carrying on at my wedding, I would lose it. And nothing ruins a ceremony video like a baby screaming the whole time. Ugh.
My pet peeves as a guest and how I'm handling them as a bride:
1. Bouquet toss. I was forced into a bouquet toss when I was a last minute date at a wedding and caught it. Never saw the end of grief from that. According to this thread everyone hates the bouquet toss, so logic says... don't do it! This brings us to a new bridal pet peeve, people saying "What do you mean you're not having a bouquet/garter toss?!?!"
2. Children screaming. So we're only allowing one.
3. Bad seating charts. And sorry Miss Corn, but I'm with chicagowife; seating charts are not always necessary and for my small buffet wedding, would be ridiculous. Fi and I feel very strongly too and no seating chart was pretty much the first thing we decided. Tacky is very subjective and to me brides pulling their hair out the night before because aunt patty and and cousin amy CAN'T sit together is the very definition of the word.
4. Too much time between the ceremony and reception. We're having ours in the same place and hopefully taking care of photos before. I really hope I can minimize the gap time for the sake of the guests.
5. I haven't dealt yet, but I dread the potential mess that is RSVP!
If you're afraid of unruly children, I would not invite them. I know people say this is controversial. I've never encountered that, personally. In fact when I discussed this for my wedding with the closest couple to us with children, they said they'd prefer not to bring them because they wanted to enjoy themselves and have a night off.
I don't see it as a big deal. Now that I have children, I still don't care. I can understand more than ever, that they can ruin a moment.
Amazing how many people are peeved about the time between the ceremony and the reception. I understand where they are coming from but I think there's more to it.
The majority of the time, it is out of the hands of the bride and groom. The churches have specific times where they will officiate the wedding and the hotels have specific times when they allow you to have the reception. It is all about logistics.
The hotel where we are having the reception has a restaurant/bar where guests that don't want to hang out on their rooms can mingle and grab a bite.
As far as the people compalining about the dinner... well, you should have grabbed something to eat while at the cocktail hour.
Other pet peeves -
Kids. Not INVITED
Like all of you, guests who don't RSVP
@ KermitClin - I would have call that person and told them flat out it's two ONLY. Take it or leave it. That's so rude of them.
My fiance is not doing the bouquet toss but instead we'll do the Anniversary Dance.
People hanging out outside the reception hall or at the bar. I went to a wedding at an amazing place with an amazing band but unfortunately, all the guests were hanging out outside the ballroom and made the reception look empty.
There's a reason why they call it the Best Man toast... because the Best Man is the only one that should do it. This is one that I'm negotiating with the fiance still. I'm suggesting that if people - like our parents - want to talk, the rehearsal dinner will be the place to do that.
I think the DJ is never at fault but the groom/bride for allowing that to happen. You have to have a conversation with them and tell them what is the pace that you want the music to go through as well as what to play and what not to play.
As a guest, the worst pet peeve I've ever encountered had to do with sending invitations. Before we were engaged (but while living together), my fiance was the best man for a college friend's wedding. Since I was friends with him too, I did a reading in the wedding ceremony. Our friend's fiancee addressed the invitations and not only did we receive separate invitations, we each received an "And Guest". (So mine was J+Guest and his was S+Guest). We had been dating for almost 2 years and living together for over a year. I was so offended that I'm still angry about it. If I were snarkier, I'd invite him +1 instead of Mr. and Mrs. on their invitation!!
Also, I hate to say it, because I love children (I'm a soon-to-be teacher), but unruly children can definitely spoil a ceremony. We decided against inviting anyone under 16 both to keep our costs/numbers down and because we're doing an evening ceremony/reception which might be hard on the young children involved. So far, all the parents have been cool with it, which has been nice.
As the Bride, I think it's just hard when everyone and their brother has a suggestion as to how you should do things. It's hard enough to make decisions without input from everyone you know!
@El Capataz: the thread asked for pet peeves, not sure it makes sense to attack people because you disagree with their pet peeve.
Whether or not the gap is up to the bride and groom or not, the reality is that it irritates people, especially when there is nothing to do in the gap. You can choose to not worry about this or not, people are just sharing thoughts. You sound pretty defensive to me!
I've only been to a couple of weddings, but I don't like the whole long drawn out ceremonies. And the bouquet and garter toss - this will be a big NO at my wedding. Like El Capataz, we may do the anniversary dance instead.
I'm worried about RSVPing, but I think I've drilled it into my friends that they have to. Oh and the no extra guest thing, I am definitely the kind of person that will pick up the phone and say NO + guest!! If your not in a serious relationship now, then your coming alone, if you don't like it don't come.
Some of these do sound harsh, but when your putting as much work and money into something like a wedding, then people need to react accordingly.
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