(Closed) Bilingual ceremony… is a no go for me!!

posted 7 years ago in Latino
Post # 3
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think if your groom wants to say his vows in Spanish and you understand it, then he should.  It’s not “just one person,” it’s his mother and though he’s not marrying her, she’s pretty important I think.  I understand your objection if SHE had demanded he say it in Spanish, but HE wants to.  I think it’s nice of him to think of her. 

Post # 4
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Hmmm, this is a tough topic.  If it was my mom and I was getting married to someone who spoke another language, I would hate for her to feel excluded and not know what is going on.  At the same time, a fully bilingual ceremony where everything is said twice will be long, and I agree that your vows should be for each other and not for his mom (do you speak Spanish?).  Maybe rather than fully repeating everything in both languages, you could have some English stuff and some Spanish stuff?  Is Spanish his first language?

I don’t know, I feel like it would be romantic for you to say your vows to him in Spanish to show you’re embracing his culture!  But then I would hope he would reciprocate and do his in English.  Ultimately it is both your wedding and his wedding, so you need to find some sort of middle ground.

Post # 6
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My FI’s mom understands English, but not very well so we decided to first do our vows in French and then do it again in English. Maybe you can do something like that?

Post # 7
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

We had a bilingual ceremony and it did not drag or sound robotic.  Our vows were said in english, but some imporatant parts of the ceremony (the welcoming, ring blessing, the readings, and the closing) were said in english and spanish and I thought it was great. In fact, many people commented on how beautiful our ceremony way.  We did it for the same reasons as you stated, we wanted our parents to understand and feel involved.  If he’s fine with you saying your vows in english, why can’t you be understanding and let him say his vows in spanish?  It obviously important to him to have his mother understand what’s being said.

Post # 8
1330 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

i have my biological father’s side of the family that doesnt speak a lick of english….i don’t even know if they are able to come since they all live in PR but if they do, i’m considering either having a bilingual ceremony OR having someone in the family who knows both english and spanish, sit by to translate for them….our vows-we’re saying in English….FH doesnt speak a lick of spanish and i want him to understand it so english it is for me…..

the other thing i thought of doing is having the entire cermony written in spanish on a program….i didnt really want to do programs but this would be the one reason i would do them…..our ceremony is going to be short and sweet tho, so it wouldnt be a problem having it included in the program word for word….maybe this is something you could suggest??

Post # 10
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m sorry your FBIL’s ceremony didn’t flow well – but don’t let that turn you against all bilingual ceremonies. I’ve been to a few that were absolutely beautiful, flowed great, smooth, everyone enjoyed them (yes, even the parts some of us couldn’t understand).

If coordinated properly, a bilingual ceremony can be a beautiful thing, especially since it sounds like it’s important to your FI! It may not be his mother’s wedding, but it is his.

Post # 11
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I went to a wedding in mexico that was fully spanish (which I don’t speak whatsoever) While I felt a little disconnected from the wedding, it was still beautiful and I understood enough of it to get by. 

Our wedding will be in English and will have a reading in Spanish to make the guests coming from Mexico feel a little more connected to the ceremony. Maybe you could suggest something like that to your FI? I agree with you that the vows are for the two of you so it should be in whatever language you prefer, but maybe you could add spanish into other parts so his mother feels more connected to it. 

Post # 12
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

We had two weddings – one in the States and another in my father’s home country and we did bilingual ceremonies for both. I am an advocate of “inclusion” for ceremonies. People are there to witness your marriage – why not do your best to include your guests (especially FI’s mother) and appease his anxiety? In My Humble Opinion, a wedding ceremony is not just about a couple joined together, but about the blending of two families (and in many cases multiple cultures). In all honesty, I had more compliments about the sincerity of our ceremony than about anything else, which meant a lot to me. My only advice to you is  – practice makes perfect. Consult your pastor and perhaps you can ensure the ebb and flow of your ceremony is to your liking. Good luck!

Post # 13
26 posts
  • Wedding: November 2011

I am having a spanish/english bilingual ceremony. The fiance doesn’t speak spanish, but he was willing to have a ceremony in spanish when we didn’t know if the officiant spoke english. 

I kind of wish we had stuck with all spanish, but once his family found out that it could be in english too they sort of jumped on it :-/ …hope it flows.

Post # 14
2821 posts
Sugar bee

Ours was mainly in English but we did have a little French in the programs and in the ceremony.  The pastor only spoke english and we both did do our vows in english though he was debating throwing a few lines of french in there.  I think it would have worked out fine.  We lead the prayer of the faithful with me saying the line in english and him saying it in french.  We stuck with mainly english since everyone there kinda understood it (even if they didn’t speak it well) and no one on my side really understood french.  I think it would have felt robotic if everything was translated but people on both sides said they liked how there was a little bit of his language thrown in there occasionally.

Post # 16
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I agree with some of the other bee’s. Not all bilingual ceremonies are longwinded. Ours was in English and Spanish. I have a few family members that only speak Spanish and hubby has none that speak spanish. This was everyone was able to understand. We said our vows in English since that is what we speak to each other in. The best thing is that ours didn’t even last 15 minutes. I was horrified of it lasting forever… I’ve been to a few of those and I was exhausted and in the audience. Eek!

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