BIL's girlfriend proposed to him – now I have to wait 3yrs to get engaged!

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 166
Member
7844 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Beetle123:  Sorry but I still think you should marry on your own timetable, and SO should be open to getting engaged before they marry. For one thing, it sounds possible their wedding will be postponed anyway.

The trouble is this: if you give in to FSIL’s crazy demands, that will just encourage her to make crazier demands. (Signing contracts? Are you kidding me?? I hope you’re not a bridesmaid). The only reason you need to walk on eggshells is because FSIL is a crazy boitch. If you let her control this, I can easily, no joke, imagine her getting upset if you get pregnant at the same time as her. You can’t let people like that control the timing of your life.

Post # 168
Member
7844 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Beetle123:  Perhaps I’m exaggerating about the hypothetical pregnancies, but I can tell you that this girl is a crazy attention seeker and it won’t stop after her wedding. So don’t think it’ll all be plain sailing with her later on; so there’s no reason to delay your engagement if that’s what you want.

Post # 169
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I think it is definitely ridiculous.  My engagement is 18 months, and I have MANY friends that got engaged after me and will be married before me.  So what?  I would just ask her exactly when she is thinking about marriage to plan your wedding not near theirs.  You guys have been dating longer and your BF is older than his brother, so it is understandable he might be ready for marriage faster.  Just don’t be any less excited for her wedding, and don’t steal each others ideas.    

Post # 170
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Also… it can be fun to be engaged at the same time as a friend.  Bond over talking about weddingy things, because the everyday person isn’t going to want to hear about it as much as you’ll want to talk about it

Post # 171
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Sorry but your FBIL is an ass and FSIL s a bridezilla b****.  I wouldn’t put my life on hold for some selfish, immature jerks. As long as you don’t get engaged at their ceremony, who cares? But I do agree with your MIL, it sounds like this girl is going to make your life miserable if you do get engaged. Just be prepared for it and have a diversion tactic ready.

Post # 172
Member
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

 

Beetle123:  screw that. you get engaged whenever you want to. She’s a nut case and you all giving in to her ridiculous demands is only going to make it worse. You are setting the tone for her to aways throw fits and attempt to get her way for as long as she’s part of your family. So if I were you I would be sending a very clear message to this whack job that I will not allow her to tell me when I can do things. Period.

Post # 173
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - Briarwood Golf Course/ Country Club

I wouldn’t worry about it.  Don’t let this stop you two and the progress/ moving forward together in your relationship.  They might not end up getting married.  Since I have gotten engaged so has a very close friend of mine, my brother, and my best friend’s (and MOH) sister, and that is only in 4 months!!! You two deciding to get married or engaged shouldn’t impact anyone else’s relationship… it is about you two and that’s all.  If you are worried about taking away from them… you won’t… and if you feel they will take the spotlight off of you two… they won’t.  It’s inevitable that people you are close to will start getting engaged and married.  You both are at the age where that starts to happen.  I am 26 and it is surrounding me…. I say go for it!!! Do what your heart wants!!!

 

Post # 174
Member
490 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I get that family dynamics can be complicated but this all sounds like Crazytown!

Firstly FSIL is clearly nuts and obviously not in this for the right reasons. Two months? And they’re 19? What in the hail? Is she pregnant or something? Why the ridiculous rush? And what the hail is wrong with FBIL being a Groomzilla? What dude on the planet cares whether his friend or his brother is engaged at the same time? 

I’m glad you have FMIL wanting for you two to have a fun engagement/planning process but why won’t she talk some sense into her other son that it doesn’t matter a lick of difference whether he and his brother are both engaged at the same time? If any of my brothers or sisters were behaving this way, you better believe my mother would invoke some major “shame on yous” for this type of over the top bratty behavior. Unbelieveable!

Post # 175
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Backyard

I think you can get engaged whenever you want to. There is no need to put it off another year, two years, three years. We got engaged one week after my future SIL and her fiance did. It was just more happiness! There is enough happiness to go around. 

 

Also, not to be cynical, but are you sure this engagment of your BIL’s will last? 

Post # 176
Member
2567 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

If you let a spoiled brat dictate when you are allowed to make an important life decision (that really the only two people who should have input on when you get engaged/married is you and your soon to be FI) she will expect to get her way for the rest of your lives together.

Since I’m super mature about everything, I would probably tell her to go fuck herself, then elope.

Leave a comment


Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors