Bipolar and dealing with judgment from FMIL

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Oy!  That’s terrible. Good on you for not skipping out on family gatherings.

Would she be receptive if you tried to educate her about what bipolar disorder is, particularly to you specifically?  More importantly, are you willing to try to educate her and are you comfortable discussing it with her?  She clearly is harbor ing some seriously skewed perceptions of the disorder. 

If you don’t want to talk with her about it or she wouldn’t be willing to listen to you, then I see no problem with just being cordial, but distant with her. Your fiancé, her son, clearly loves you and knows she is wrong. I don’t blame you if you’d rather just keep your distance but remain civil. 

Best of luck!

Post # 5
Member
2527 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@Mrs_Hammer:  if she’s going to be closed-minded, then there’s probably not much you can do to change her views on it. i guess just be cordial to her when you’re around and try to ignore her ignorance. i’m also bipolar and functioning just fine. my in-laws didn’t know for a long time because they’re kind of judgmental about mental illness but they know now and seem to be ok with it. maybe in time, your FMIL will see that you’re a normal, functioning adult who happens to have bipolar disorder. 

Post # 6
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Mrs_Hammer:  That’s a bummer she is so close minded. Maybe she’d be more receptive if she heard it from your fiancé? Or maybe he could politely tell her to keep her ignorant, uniformed opinions to herself at the very least. 

I can totally understand being nervous about going. It will probably be uncomfortable at first, but hopefully it will get easier with time. Probably best to just be polite but distant. Congrats on finding the right treatments that allow you to manage your disorder. Seems like bipolar disorder , like most mental health disorders (but bipolar even more so), is so tough to find what works for treatment. So much trial and error and its so draining mentally and physically. 

 

I was super nervous about telling my husband’s parents about my depression and axniety. I was in the process of changing meds on a trip to visit them and I was kind of a mess. Snapping at my husband, jittery, anxious, short tempered. It was terrible because it was only the third time I’d ever met them and they didn’t know about any of my mental health problems. It was an awkward conversation for sure but it turned out alright I suppose. 

Post # 8
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013 - Garden

I feel like this really shouldn’t be your problem to deal with. Your FI needs to tell his mother to shape up.

Post # 9
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

I’m with Daffadowndilly. Your fiance needs to approach her and tell her exactly how she’s expected to treat you and regard you; if she can’t do that, then she won’t be seeing either of you. Maybe it will give her something to think about.

There’s no educating a headstrong person who is determined to hate you; she’s found her excuse, is all. Given the climate, I don’t know if I would go over there – not because I’m scared off, but because I don’t have the patience for BS like that.

Post # 10
Member
2527 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@Mrs_Hammer:  you’re welcome! i hope your visit is going well today.

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