Post # 1
My co-workers and I were talking about relationships earlier and eventually got to the topic of birth orders. How does your SO and your birth order play off against each other?
I’ll start. I’m an only child and FI is a middle child. I’m a bit sheltered because my parents are sometimes overprotective so I used to be very shy. FI on the other hand is outgoing which, from what I know is typical of middle children because they try to create their own niche outside of the family. This plays off well with us because it helped me overcome my shyness. I can also be a little bit of a perfectionist at times while FI is more of a chill guy so in that terms, we balance each other off.
Post # 3
I’m first born, pretty type-A, total daddy’s girl, pretty spoiled upbringing.
He is the baby of a blended family of 6, way younger than his siblings, and totally took care of himself. Very level headed and mature.
Post # 4
I’m the oldest of three, SO is the youngest of two. He’s quite irresponsible and laid back which could be put down to birth order but bis older brother is much worse. I am quite tetchy being the oldest, was always worried about getting blamed for somethign growing up I guess. I’m not sure think it makes much difference though. Though now I think about it all my exes were the oldest too.
ETA it’s funny I describe myself as tetchy/uptight because my friends think I’m chilled even if I do wear my heart on my sleeve!
Post # 5
We are both the first born and very driven and ambitous. Also very practical and financially responsible.
Post # 6
We’re both firstborns – my younger brother is 3 years younger, his is 8 years younger. We are both steryotypical first borns – stubborn, opinionated, type-a, overachievers. While it works out for some things (we get shiz done, and quickly), it does cause us to butt heads occasionally.
Post # 7
We’re both the oldest of three, each with a younger brother and sister.
I don’t think it has much impact on our personalities or how we are with each other, but being the first to “grow up” in our families and being a part of our siblings’ upbringing have given us similar perspectives on family and parenting. I really think that being a young adult outside the family home, while the siblings are still at home, gives you an added opportunity to see your parents as people (ha, the novelty!).
Post # 8
I’m a first born, total type A, no real issues growing up, daddy’s girl, given lots of opportunities, responsible, stubborn, got what I wanted
DH is the “youngest” of twins (his twin brother is a minute older and has ALWAYS been treated better than DH, no matter what), not a good childhood, lack back chill attitude, no real responsibilities until career, never got what he wanted.
We fit perfectly and help balance each other out. We’re still kids inside so I love having an actual Christmas with/for him and introducing him to Disneyworld and all that fun stuff.
Post # 9
We’re both the babies! I’m the youngest of 2 girls and he’s the youngest of 3 boys. He and his brothers are very close in age, so he is very typical youngest child. My sister is 11 years older than me, so I grew up kind of like an only child (there weren’t a lot of other kids a near my age around), so I have more of an “oldest” or “only child” personality. I’d say we’re both pretty similar, though. We’re both very driven, both have the same occupation, both very “type A” and our families are very similar. I’m much more outgoing than him, though, but it never creates a problem or anything.
Post # 10
I’m an only child from a poor family, so not spoiled, but actually left to my own devices a lot and so I’m very used to the idea that I can have my things however I want them and nobody will mess with them. I’m a slow eater, very introverted, non-confrontational, and imaginative. Perfectly happy to spend time by myself.
FH is the eldest son (second oldest kid) of seven, he is clever, aggressive, very fast at things compared to me – fast thinker, fast talker, fast eater (’cause he would never get seconds otherwise. He is very opinionated and stubborn, hates being alone for a prolonged period. (If he didn’t have me he’d probably try to live at least with roommates because he’d probably go crazy living alone.)
He’s also very defensive at times, because the oldest kids were always the ones either blamed for a problem or called upon to do work (yardwork, housework, etc.) first, and his parents have always been strictest with him. But almost to rebel against their high expectations, he’s not ambitious or perfectionist at all.
I realized the other day that all of my relationships have been with eldest sons. I wonder why.
Post # 11
I’m the middle child of three girls and he is the youngest with one sister. I’m determined to be independent and stand out in a crowd. Where he is more laid back and tries to blend in. But in social situations he is was more out going then I am. I have a few issues with my older sister being the “perfect one” and my younger sister being spoiled even now (she lives at home mum and dad pay all her bills at 24) but I love them both. Where as he has really no realtionship with his sister whatso ever.
Post # 12
@cooperlove: My SO is a twin too!
We’re both from families of 6, but I’m the youngest and SO and his twin are second. For me, I would say that I can be social, loud, manipulative and spoiled, like a typical youngest… but I was a number of years younger than my siblings, so I think that impacts it as well. I have a lot of first born tendencies. SO’s youger brother actually assumed I was a first born.
SO being a middle child, he is very accommodating to others, a peace maker of sorts. This is great for him being a family man, but because he is generally a quiet guy, I try to recognize my youngest tendancies and overrun him.
He really balances me out and I think.
Post # 13
@alyssa247: I’d never thought about this! I’m an only child too, but brought up by a super independant single mum, she was all about working to achieve rewards and never giving me money for nothing etc. Then FI is the first of 3 kids from a family that all went to private schools. And now he is a lieutenant in the airforce…
So, basically he tries to boss me around all the time and I tell him where to stick it, which he seems to find refreshing
Post # 14
@BrownPlaidBook: Cool! DH and his bro are identical twins (but I think they’re actually half identical) and I’m the older sister of the fraternal twin sisters
Post # 15
I am the oldest child, FI is the middle child. We both grew up poor with traumatic childhoods (his family being poorer and vastly more traumatic :/). His older brother didnt live with his mom (it’s complicated – he lived with their grandmother for the majority of his childhood), so he kind of assumed the oldest child role.
I think I’m more a typical oldest child – bossy, stubborn, perfectionist, likes being in control, and he is more responsibility oriented. I am high strung, he isnt.
Post # 16
Fiancé is oldest of 3. Very organized and planner. Driven has his doctorate
I’m youngest of 2. very laid back and not type a at all lol. Took me 7 years to finish my bachelors. Had a child at 21 but then I bought a house and got a real job. We certainly balance each other out. He will be adopting my daughter and I’m looking forward to parenting with him as I think he’ll balance out the parenthood with some discipline and structure