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I'm not against birth control. It is a safe and effective way to prevent pregnancy. If you are concerned about your health, I'd talk to your doctor. If you are concerned due to religious reasons, then it doesn't matter what we think.
@nil: Hi! I guess my first question is really what business is it of your family's if you are using birth control or not? How would they even know? I really think this is a decision that you and your future hubby need to agree on. Just tell your family you aren't taking any - surely they wont search you for the patch. If so, get NuvaRing - i BET they won't find that one. lol.
I haven't been on birth control in some time now, but we aren't trying. Mainly for me, bc causes a lot of weight gain, low sex drive, and also highly irregular periods, regardless of which kind I've tried. So we made the decision to just stay off of it.
Good luck with whatever you decide - don't let your family push you around.
i'm totally for the birthcontrol pills (born and raise in Europe) but for my FI (born and raise in asia now living in Europe), my parents and in laws it's all about health AND religion sooo.... kind of stuck
I agree ... if it's religious reasoning then that's something you and FI have to come to terms with. If that's not the case, then why not? as long as your dr. feels this will be fine.
@souliganprincess: actually i don't really care about my family vision but it joins my FI opinion
Like others have stated... This is a decision that needs to be made between you and your FI only... As far as your parents, FILs, grandparents, siblings, whatever... it's none of their business.
As far as health is concerned, I have been on the BC pill for 5 years and have never had a problem, but it is best to talk to your dr. about your options and what is right for you.
Your body, your decision, ultimately. You already know your FI is against it, so you guys need to have a chat. Maybe there are some misconceptions on his part regarding health/birth control that could be cleared up.
Is your FI basing his decision on what his family thinks or is he educated about methods of birth control?
I'm not against hormonal birth control but decided for many reasons it's not for me. And there are viable non-hormonal methods out there. Maybe you and your FI need to have a research evening and then sit and talk about the options.
I don't like hormonal birth control personally, I think there are a lot of things happening (uterine cysts and the like) that are happening now because of birth control taken over a long period of time. (I don't have anything scientific to back that up, there are just a lot of women I know who are having problems, including my sister, and thats what her docter concluded to). BUT I agree it's none of your families business, and I don't even know how they would know?
(Just stay away from the Depa shot!!!)
Birth control is a really key issue in a marriage. If you don't use birth control, there is a much greater chance that you will end up pregnant. It concerns me that you feel like you don't have any control over your fertility. I think you should just talk to your fiance about how you feel.
One more thing, you could look into FAM, it's actually very efficient if you do it right :)
They are a health concern for some people, but most take them with no problems at all. I think you and FI need to have an in depth discussion of your options.
basically: BC, condoms, NFP, no sex, or if a baby happens s/he happens!
@Belle2Be: Actually that's my FI's main point, he think that there are way too much risks on the health area. We are only 22 so it's seams too young to begin with birthcontrol pill. On the top there are obviously religious point of view...
we talk a lot with FI but we don't agree at all on that matter but i'm sure we'll find a way to make things work
@nil: Look into FAM! Go to TCOYC.com, they even have a book you can read. It may make you squeemish at first, but there is a TON of good info that really every woman should know even if she does use hormonal BC. Basically you have to take your temp at the same time every morning, and your body lets you know if you're ovulating.
@EleanorRigby: there are many viable options to prevent pregnancy other than hormonal BC... no need to try and inject fear into her that she'll end up pregnant without a pill.
One thing to consider, is that if you're only trying to wait a year or two, BC pills do have the ability to mess with your natural system. It is possible to get pregnant the first month off, but it's the exception. It can take 1-6 months... sometimes a year or so to re-regulate your system.
I am not using BC and we are successful at preventing pregnancy. In fact, we're not even using condoms. We use FAM with abstinence during fertile periods.
While we first wanted to do it because of religious reasons, it is science and medicine that has me convinced that it's the best option. I have studied BC extensively and it is just not worth it to me. On top of the reasons it's better for you to not use BC, it's also much better for the environment which is currently being impacted pretty largely by the use of BC.
FAM is very easy, the cost is about $10usd when you start, and that's it. The basic premise is that it's been scientifically proven that your body exhibits very clear, easy to read signs in regards to ovulation. You learn how to read those signs and your body essentially yells at you that you are about to, currently, and then done ovulating. During those fertile times, you can choose to use a barrier or other method of non-hormonal BC or abstain. If you choose to Abstain your success rate is the highest of any BC method - simply, if you don't have sex there is no failure! :) If you choose another method the failure rate is that of the one you choose. Obviously, if your method fails you are fertile and therefore have a chance of being pregnant. The big advantage is that you KNOW you are fertile, unlike when your method fails and you have no idea if you are or not.
Research and education is key. I would really rec. you read the book "Taking Charge of your Fertility" which is VERY educational and can help you learn more about your body, cycle, and what really happens. I'm actually upset that I didn't learn what i know now until recently... I wish I had known it when I started to get my period!
ETA: I also know exactly when I'll get my period and can pre-medicate so I don't have to deal with any cramps anymore! It's AWESOME!
@nil: I started the pill when I was 15 (due to excessive bleeding)...I'm almost 22 now and have had zero problems with it. The biggest thing is to work with your OB/GYN to find the pill that will work best for you.
There are a lot of different foundations for making a decision about what birth control to use. Religion is just one of them. There is also health, price, ease of use, and effectiveness, and probably other reasons too. Many people are totally satisfied with hormonal birth control, whereas other people have issues with it due to one or more of these reasons. The most important thing is that you and your husband choose a method you can agree upon.
If you are concerned about hormonal bc for one reason or another, I encourage you to check out the sympto-thermal method of natural family planning. It is what I have used (successfully) for the past three years. It's as effective as the pill when used correctly. So if effectiveness is important to you, there are other choices than hormonal birth control. I chose it because my body does not tolerate hormonal birth control well at all, and I wanted a method that was cheap, simple, and effective. It is the same method KLP referred to that's in "Taking Charge of Your Fertility."
@KLP2010: What's FAM? (english is not my language) sorry if its a weird question
This is a very difficult situation, as religion plays a huge role in what people believe about having children.
It seems to me that you and FI may have a bigger issue in that you might have different values in terms of family planning in general.
You seem to be ok with the idea of attempting to wait to have children, and FI does not. What about how MANY children you have? Is FI expecting you to never use any form of birth control and just pop out babies one after the other?
I'm not saying this in a rude way at all.. but there are some people who believe that you should do nothing to prevent pregnancy at all, and if you end up with 20 children then you were supposed to have that many. Not saying FI feels that way, but it is a legitimate concern.
You and FI need to have a serious discussion- alone- about how many children you want and when. And if he isn't comfortable with birth control, AT LEAST using condoms to prevent pregnancy, and you are not ok with this, then you seriously need to consider if this is a life you will be happy with in the long run. You have rights to your own body, and while you respect his faith, you should not be expected to keep popping out babies if that's not what you want too.
Fertility Awareness Method - the one I specifically use (there are a few out there) is STM - the sympto-thermal method. @chelseamorning: uses the same one. It's what I feel is the most "complete" method as it is a compilation of ALL the signs and symptoms of ovulation.
It is just as (depending on what you do during your fertile times can also be more) successful than hormonal BC.
I started the pill when I was 14, due to other girly-related issues. No problems with it whatsoever. So I would say your age is definately not an issue, as far as the pill is concerned.
@tinylittlebird: i didn't take your comment as rude, we talk with FI long time ago about kids and we know how many kids we want (and hoping we will be lucky enought to have them), and we are ok about condoms but seriously condoms in the long time is sounds strange to me. FI and i have the some religion but i'm way more "liberal" than he is :)
thank you all for your opinions :) even if i don't have a solution right now it helps me to talk about it :)
The best place to start is to talk with a doctor like the previous posters have said. This choice needs to be your choice number one because it's your body. Of course you want to consult your husband, but you also need to do what feels right for your body.
I have been on birth control pills for many years and I have never run into any health concerns regarding them. When taken properly with the advice of a doctor they are one of the most effective and healthy ways to prevent pregnancy. Despite what many inserts and commercials the health risks are low if you are not already suffering from previous conditions (like blood clots, cancer, etc.).
Ask your doctor about "low-dose" pills because they have lower amounts of hormones in them and reduce the associated risks because of that. If you are concerned with the effects than watch out for brands like "Diane" that have higher doeses and additional risk factors like heart disease and heart attacks.
If the pills don't work out for you, you can always stop taking them and try a different method. From my personal experience I would reccomend them because they also help many women to have lighter, more regular periods and in some cases they help aleviate PMS symptoms :)
If you're against birth control, then you still have the options of charting your fertility or the "pull-out" method. Neither are 100% effective, but it sounds like if a baby happened to come along, you wouldn't mind. I actually believe that the pull out method is pretty successful (although I wouldn't try it personally).
@KLP- I was referring birth control in general, not just hormonal brith control. The OP said "pills, patch, and whatever" which I read to include all birth control.
That being said, besides abstinence, hormal birth control remains the most effective method for preventing pregnancy. I would talk to your doctor before using FAM.
@nil: It isn't up to your family. It's up to you. You're an adult, and your reproductive health is nobody's business your yours and your FI's.
I think BC pills are a great option, but really recommend doubling up (I got pregnant taking it perfectly - it's rare, but it does happen in 1-2 out of 100 women). We use spermicidal films with BC pills now (vaginal contraceptive films)
@EleanorRigby: FAM is just as effective, if not more than hormonal birth control. Like hormonal birth control, it just has to be done correctly.
@nil: I'm confused.... Your FI is okay with condoms, but not the BC pill??
@TinyTina:Yep he is ok with condoms but not with anything related to "medecine".
You could always compromise--since you're okay with BC, take BC for one year while you're students. After you're not students, switch to just condoms.
DH and I recently had this discussion, as we have been using condoms since we have been together. However, because of "girly issues" I am thinking about taking the pill. But since you don't know if the pill is working until it DOESN'T work, PuppyDad would want to continue using condoms too.
His point of view is that with the condom usage he can play a very active role in the family planning. This way each time we are intimate we make a conscious decision to not try to conceive. It makes him feel better because so many of his guy friends actually have children that they really didn't plan on -- sometimes with partners they never intended -- because the "pill didn't work."
I'll think we will go on "natural birth control"
@puppymom2006:i don't have girly issues that would need me to take the pills and as you say the pill isn't 100% save (my little cousin is that 1% of the pill that didnt work).
I think it's totally your decision as to wheter you want to go on birth control or not. why would your family have a say in it? birth control is an easy, effective, and safe way to prevent pregnancy, and there's nothing wrong with that.
@nil: Well I'm glad the two of you talked about it. I don't like to tell people how to live their lives, but it worries me how many couples don't talk about it ahead of time...
And I'm with you on the whole long-term condom use thing... that doesn't sound like much fun, using them until you're in your 40's or 50's and finally hit menopause. :(
It sounds like family planning might be the best thing for you both to check into..
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Ok girls so i'm getting married in july and we talk with FI about bithcontrol because we plan to wait 1 year at least (we are students...) but FI and all our family are against birthcontrol pills, patch and whatever
i'd like to know what you guys think :)