Birthday and no gift from Fiance ???

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
998 posts
Busy bee

Hmmm…my birthday was last week, and DBF didn’t give me anything but a long, heartfelt card. But then again, we both young students with little money to spend on gifts, so it was kind of justified.

In your case, I think you have a right to be a little upset due to your ages and incomes. 

Post # 4
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’d be sad too.  I think you have a right to be upset.  I hope he plans something for this you for this weekend.

Post # 5
Member
1931 posts
Buzzing bee

I got a bottle of gin in the liquor store paper bag… no card…

Post # 6
Member
1706 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! See – I didn’t forget 😉

That blows.  Seriously, I’m sorry that he was a dumbass yesterday and didn’t think to get you a gift.  🙁

Post # 7
Member
353 posts
Helper bee

You are not materialistic! It’s normal for you to want your birthday to feel special, and Wendy’s is not the most special!

Maybe kindly let him know that you are feeling down? Men usually like to “fix” problems, so as long as you don’t tell him “you’re so mean, I hate you!” and instead say “I’m sad to be so far from my family on my birthday, I’d feel so much better if you did something special” maybe he’d just really want to make it up to you?

Post # 8
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Does he normally do something bigger for your birthday? If he normally gets you a gift or takes you out somewhere nice, but this year he didn’t.. I’d be wondering what was up? 

I’d be really disappointed too.

Post # 10
Member
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’m sorry. 🙁

 

Does he know that you wanted to go big for your birthday? Sometimes people don’t because they don’t want to be reminded that they are getting older. 

After a week or so (so that things aren’t still fresh), sit down with him and talk about the expectations you both have of each other for birthdays etc. Perhaps he sucks at buying presents so you decide to compromise by exchanging wish lists? Maybe HE sees no value in a card so he doesn’t realise that YOU do. Was his family big on birthdays? This could be learned behaviour that you need to try and get him out of. 

 

Post # 11
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would be upset too.  In my first marriage, my ex did that to me for the last birthday I had before I left him.  I made a big deal for his birthday:  taking our daughter to his work with a huge basket of goodies then, after work a gourmet bbq, cake, balloons, gifts.  My birthday was a week later and seriously all I got from him (when he finally got home, at 7:00 p.m.) was a brown paper bag with 2 cheap pairs of earrings (from a Target-like store) with a generic “happy birthday” card that one would give to an acquaintance, not the mother of his child and wife of almost 9 years.  That was the final straw for me. 

Post # 12
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@maxfluffy:  Man… that sucks. 🙁 I’m really sorry. I don’t think you’re materialistic at all. I’m sure if he’d just planned something- ANYTHING- that showed he put thought into it, you’d be happy. Grabbing some flowers and taking you to get fast food does not say “Happy Birthday” to me. 

Post # 13
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@maxfluffy:  Happy BDAY 🙂

My SO does NOT think birthdays are exciting OR important.  UGH.

Just a side thought and plz don’t hate me….you say you spend more BUT you are engaged?  Did he buy a cheap ring?  Engagement rings can be VERY expensive and I would just do ANYTHING to be engaged and who cares if I ever get a bday gift again hahahahahaha.  Just sayin’

I would like, STOP buying anymore nice bday or anything gifts for him.  Instead, spend that money on yourself.  It’s been amazing to me that as soon as I started buying myself weekly flowers and occasianal PRICEY bottle of wine that, well, my SO actually did these things to make me happy.  I’m about to start buying diamond jewelery hahahaha seriously though, I’m sorry that your bday isn’t all that you wanted it to be.  But you are engaged, and wendys does suck…..but if he proposed and is trying to pay off an expensive ring then I suppose I kinda get it…lol.  Now I really want wendys haha.  good luck lady!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 14
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@maxfluffy:  I’m confused.  You’ve been ENGAGED for 4 years?  What’s the hold up?  Do you guys live together?  Why did he not show up until 10 pm?  There’s soooooo much more problematic issues than just the $1 card and Wendys…

Post # 15
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would be happy with a card, flowers and eating out (even if it is fast food.) It sounds like you two have different birthday expecations. You should talk about it. 

Post # 16
Member
958 posts
Busy bee

My SO of over two years (we’ve lived together for about two years) has forgotten my birthday twice.  I would be thrilled with a $1 card and flowers, even though I don’t like flowers.

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