Post # 1
Anyone have a birthday recently or coming up & get the feeling since everyone assume the wedding is the only thing you have going on that your birthday is well – taking a back seat. I love celebrating my birthday however for the past two years I have either had school on the night of my birthday and last year i had a law school final exam on my birthday. So this year I wanted to actually celebrate, being that next year I will be taking the Bar Exam and a bit limited to only celebrating maybe one night since it’s my 30th & my FH’s 40th – so we might have a bash. Anyways, FH hates celebrating birthdays – he says he doesnt get it – however, it has a lot to do with his upbringing with divorced parents and them constantly fighting about his birthdays, etc. So I get that – and I have known it for four years. However, this is my birthday – which I havent celebrated, unless someone has out of pity added my name to an invite since so many people have birthdays around me.
Anyone is just feeling down about their bdays? Maybe I need some cheese with my wine – but I had to vent. Feeling lonely enough with just doing wedding stuff by myself all the time w/out others & now this is making it worse. Ahhh, I want to leave work to go workout. 🙁
Post # 3
Oh I know all about doing it all yourself. And about your birthday being lost in the shuffle — my birthday is the day after the wedding and I have no doubt it will indeed be swept into the background. I was raised to expect a lot for my birthday whereas my FI considers it just another day. I USED to give myself a birthday present every year by rtaking off work, but now it comes at the very end of the summer session and I can not leave a couple hundred college students hanging.
DO be good to yourself on your birthday! Just because others do not value birthdays as much as you do DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU ARE NOT IMPORTANT AND LOVED! You are very important so celebrate!
Post # 4
I can totally relate! I got married on September 1st and my birthday was the 16th. I felt that year, no one remembered. I realized that we just had a huge party to celebrate my husband and I, but don’t we all still get a day where everyone at least wishes you a happy birthday? Everyone except for maybe my husband forgot until they got some nudging from my husband. "Oh that’s right! It just slipped my mind b/c we just had your wedding…" Thanks
Then, the next year, my husband had class the night of my birthday and EVERYONE forgot…very depressing! My best friend was the only one who remembered and offered to at least hang out with me so that I wouldn’t have to be by myself that night. I was very disenchanted with everyone.
I’m sorry you’re going through the same thing! It’s always very sad when you are disappointed. So I know how you feel. Chin up, and happy birthday whenever it is!!!
Post # 5
@Ms.Guava-tini – Happy Birthday!! You should find a way to celebrate, even if it’s with a couple of friends, or even by yourself. Take some money out of your wedding budget, and go get yourself a spa treatment, or buy yourself something you’d really love.
My birthday is on Saturday. FI’s was last weekend, and he has never liked celebrating his. I have always loved celebrating mine, and have had some great parties in the past. My law school convocation was the day of my 25th birthday. My 30th was a blast. When I think about them, those birthday highlights are now hard to beat. Mind you, I also used to put a lot of effort into planning and organizing.
Life is just way too busy these days. My birthday dinner on Saturday will just be with my FI and my parents.
The first time I had a quiet birthday, two years ago, it was really depressing. I’m not upset about it at all this year, but I totally remember how it feels. You tend to take stock of your life on your birthday. You should be proud of what you’ve accomplished so far – you’re almost finished your professional training, you’ve found the love of your life. And you haven’t even hit 30 yet!
Post # 6
Timely post for me.
First off, happy birthday!
I feel your pain, and wonder if we made an oops by putting our wedding so close to our birthdays. His birthday was last week, and poor guy got a combined birthday/wedding present. (Granted… it was a Kindle :), but still!) My birthday is June 30th, and aside from falling on an inconvenient day of the week, it’s also 2 weeks before the wedding. If we go have dinner that weekend with friends, then I’m happy enough.
I love birthdays, but like your fiance, my fiance thinks they’re just "meh". Hurray for birthdays… they are the only day that we get specially dedicated to us as individuals!
Post # 7
I am such a birthday person. i spoil people and FI does a good job now. His birthday is the week before and his present is a surprise honeymoon- so it’s wedding related but good.
Post # 8
Thank you so much ladies – you all made me feel so much better! I have scheduled a training session at the gym after work & having dinner with the family & stay-K in south beach with FH for the weekend (hopefully) Maybe a little shopping afterwards!
Told FH about taking money out of the wedding budget and all – LOL! Im thinking as well that I am getting a huge gift this year (although I already got my gym membership from FH which is fabulous) – FH is paying for the wedding – so what more can I ask for as a birthday gift!
Planning to make it great & so far it has been – thanks again!
Post # 9
I know what you mean! I hope mine doesnt become that way – its 2 days before the wedding. I however kind of covered my grounds on that one by insisting the rehersal dinner be on my birthday – so its kind of a win win for me, a celebration for the rehersal dinner PLUS probably birthday cake and not to mention the fact I will apready be with all the people I would like to share it with!
ps. yay shopping! have fun!
Post # 10
Trust me, I know all about not getting attention on your birthday – its the story of my life! My bday is 12/21..that’s right, 4 days before Xmas. Luckily, my mom’s is 12/23 so she totally understands and tried to make sure that they made my bday special and separate from xmas – people think that just because its right by xmas they only have to get just one present which is totally unfair. Well I’ve made it known to my FI and BFF that since I was 13 I haven’t really had anything special for my bday and it kinda bummed me out. This past year since I was hitting the big 25 and they both got special gifts for their 25’s (we went sky diving for FI’s 25th, had a huge party at our house on the deck with swimming and a great turnout for BFF’s 25th) they planned me a big surprise party complete with a summer theme right in the middle of winter! I was totally surprised, since its so close to xmas they said they were texting back and forth about my xmas presents and I really had no clue.
Anywho, just wanted to let you know your not alone, but I believe that by making it known you could be in for quite a surprise without realizing it