(Closed) Birthday gifts…Do I have to??

posted 5 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should I give a gift?
    YES (please specify why) : (10 votes)
    53 %
    NO : (2 votes)
    11 %
    Yes, but make it more for the kids : (2 votes)
    11 %
    No gift, just a card : (5 votes)
    26 %
  • Post # 3
    3574 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I would give a gift.  I would NOT give a passive agressive gift.  You are better off giving nothing.   I am also a Christmas baby, and none of my inlaws ever remember.  It is frustrating.  The gift has nothing to do with her, it’s about you doing the right thing and taking the higher road. 

    Post # 4
    3992 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @MrsTVLover:  tthat yes, give a gift because you are a good person and its what you should do. It can be small/Inexpensive but you should give something. 

    Post # 5
    46230 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Most families I know just stop giving birthday gifts to adults- often because there  are more and more kids and eventually grandkids to buy for.  I would have that discussion with your Darling Husband.

    Post # 6
    3693 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I think birthday presents are more appropriate for children, honestly. I wouldn’t make a big deal out of this.

    Post # 7
    1006 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Wait, you’re upset because they don’t give you a bday gift but they get you a Christmas gift?  I don’t want to be mean but that seems nitpicky to me.  It would be annoying to get someone two separate gifts and be like, this one is for your birthday and this one is for Christmas.  In my family, birthday & christmas gifts are given to children usually under 16, and then if the adults are going to someone’s house for the holiday they bring a hostessy type gift.  And it sounds like you’re also upset because you gave a giftcard to SIL for HER birthday (correct me if I’m misunderstanding) and she didn’t use it on the kids? Why should she?  Unless it’s their birthday, it’s not their gift.  

    I think you should give a hostess type gift (wine, potted plant, expensive sweets, whatever) because they’re having a party and leave it at that. Then you can sort of ignore her birthday in the way she’s ignoring yours and feel like it’s more fair? 

    Post # 8
    748 posts
    Busy bee

    Oh for heaven’s sake just get her a gift.  This sounds petty IMO.  My birthday is a couple days after Christmas and half the time my in-laws forget or just give a lump sum of cash for the holidays.  Does it matter?  Not really.

     I couldn’t imagine NOT giving a gift if you are going to something that she is hosting.  Grab a bottle of wine or a cake or a potted plant or something and be done with it.  

    Post # 9
    10565 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    If your Darling Husband and BIL just exchange GCs/money maybe as a family you should discuss stopping gifts altogether?  It can be hard to come up with 2 gifts so close together.

    SIL has a Christmas birthday.  She insists on separate gifts, as a carryover from when she was a kid, which I get.  I’ve gotten her 2 separate gifts for a while, but she doesn’t do a bday gift for me!  We’ve stopped spending the money for 2 occassions though, we just give her 2 smaller gifts.

    Do your inlaws maybe spend more but just get the 1 gift for you?

    If you don’t give a bday gift, I agree you should bring something.  They same way you would if a friend hosted a BBQ.

    Post # 11
    477 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Get her a gift. Perhaps she is getting you a larger Christmas present to combine the Christmas and birthday presents and you don’t realize it? Either way, it’s not a big deal and I think it would do worse damage to not give a gift or to give her a passive aggressive dollar store present.

    The topic ‘Birthday gifts…Do I have to??’ is closed to new replies.

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