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Birthing Books and Birth Plan vs Actual Birth

posted 6 months ago in Pregnancy
  • 4 Members Subscribed To Topic
  • poll: Compare Birth Plan to Actual Birth
    Plan: Natural ; Actual: Natural : (5 votes)
    38 %
    Plan: Natural ; Actual: Pain Killer (eg-Epidural) : (3 votes)
    23 %
    Plan: Natural ; Actual: Cesarean : (1 votes)
    8 %
    Plan: Natural ; Actual: Other : (1 votes)
    8 %
    Plan: Pain Killer ; Actual: Natural : (0 votes)
    Plan: Pain Killer ; Actual: Pain Killer : (2 votes)
    15 %
    Plan: Pain Killer ; Actual: Cesarean : (1 votes)
    8 %
    Plan: Pain Killer ; Actual: Cesarean : (0 votes)
    Plan: Cesarean ; Actual: Natural : (0 votes)
    Plan: Cesarean ; Actual: Pain Killer : (0 votes)
    Plan: Cesarean ; Actual: Cesarean : (0 votes)
    Plan: Cesarean ; Actual: Other : (0 votes)
  •  
    1.
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    Buzzing bee
    mmsva    October 9, 2010   Alexandria, VA

    I’m still TTC, but I’ve been thinking about birthing and birthing books. Can anyone recommend a good book that isn’t “unless you do natural, you are a bad mom” or “if you do natural, you are a crazy mom”? I’m looking for something that is unbiased.

    Also, how did your birth plan compare to your actual birth?

     
    2.
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    Mrs. Spring    May 10, 2009   California

    My favorite birthing book is The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin.  It has information on med-free birthing, medicated birthing, c-section births, procedures and interventions, etc...  It's really the most comprehensive birthing book I've found, to date, and all the information is presented in a non-judgmental manner.

     
    3.
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    Bee Keeper
    amnystik    April 9, 2011   Texas

    I wanted a natural birth and if I'd stayed out of the hospital I probably would've gotten it. lol I had an "emergency" cesarean though.

    This go round, going for a natural home-birth and with my history (what was in the actual records) there shouldn't be any reason why it goes any other way. =)

    I don't have any book recommendations though b/c most of my current reading is on homebirth and natural birth.... (gotta get mentally prepared) =)

     
    4.
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    Sugar bee
    troubled      

    I'm not sure, I was lets go natural but not to the point where it's a drawn out pain fest. I put off an epidural for awhile once I hit 7 cm because I was fine with transition pain  but once it got to the point of hours I was fine with pain meds and ready to relax if it was going to be hours more.  So that was the plan I guess.  I would have preferred not to have pain meds but since I didn't know what kind of birth I'd have I was fine with getting them in some situations.

     
    5.
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    Honey bee
    TheFutureMcBride    August 2010   Virginia

    We planned natural and had natural. We took Bradley Classes, which are "natural or you're a bad mom," and just ignored the bad talk. Basically, it really helped us leaarn what to expect and we threw out the parts which really bothered us. Personally, I loved my natural birth, but think that every woman should pick what's best for her.

     
    6.
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    1,093 posts
    Bumble bee
    MerryC    September 2008   WA

    So far I like the Mayo Clinic Guide to Healthy Pregnancy, and Our Bodies Ourselves: Pregnancy and Birth.  I think they've done a good job of presenting options in an unbiased way.  Mayo is more factual, and Our Bodies has a lot of little anecdotes from pg women.

     
    7.
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    Busy bee
    barbie86    August 2, 2014   London, UK

    Well I'm not pregnant, might not even have children, but when I thought I wanted children I gave a lot of thought to the birth, and if I was to have children, my ideal birth would be a home water-birth; second best would be a water birth at a mid-wife led birthing unit. I have a very high pain threshold, so would not be worried at all about the pain, and I really don't like the idea of an epidural (gas and air would be fine though).

    I don't really think anyone can advise you, as it is such an individual thing and there is no right or wrong way to give birth. I would research your options, and discuss everything in detail with your healthcare provider. I also think flexibility is key; I think it's a bad idea to have your heart set on a certain birth plan, as things don't always go to plan. You could for instance decide you definitely want an epidural, only to find that you have a very easy, quick labour, and feel you don't need one. You may have your heart set on a water-birth with no drugs, but in the event you might have a long labour and feel exhausted, and need an epidural. You might want a home birth, but complications may arise that mean you need to give birth in hospital.

    In short, I think it's good to be prepared, and good to do your research and think about what you want, but also be prepared for things not going to plan. And don't listen to people who try to dictate how you 'should' give birth; you should give birth how you personally feel comfortable doing so. I don't understand women who refuse pain relief despite being in agony and being exhausted, for instance.

     
    8.
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    Busy bee
    Tatum    October 2, 2010   Minneapolis

    I didn't have a specific birth plan, which was good because the doctor took one look at my 39 week ultrasound and said I needed to deliver the baby that night. I didn't even have a chance to try at labor though- very shortly after I was given the drugs to induce labor the baby's heart rate dropped and my blood pressure skyrocketed and I had emergency c-section.

    Husband blames doctor/hospital and feels like we should never have agreed to induction. I suppose it's entirely possible we could have ignored their (extremely strong) recommendation, waited for the baby to come on her own, and had it turn out fine. That's one of those things you just hate to be wrong on though, and I didn't want to risk it. I don't regret how anything turned out, although my husband kind of does.

    I didn't do much research on natural births, so I can't help you on any sources. I would advise though when creating your birth plan to hope for the best, but keep it in the back of your head that sometimes, despite best intentions, things just don't work out that way.

     
    9.
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    Buzzing bee
    mmsva    October 9, 2010   Alexandria, VA

    @Tatum: If you feel comfortable-- why did they want you to give birth that night?

     
    10.
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    Newbee
    mrskiki    July 10, 2010   Albuquerque, NM

    I just finished reading Birthing From Within and I loved it! I don't know that I would say that it's unbiased but I think it's definitely worth a read. It emphasizes natural birth but it mostly just encourages you to be happy and confident with your birth experience. This book really changed the way I view childbirth and instead of feeling scared about labor I now feel excited.

     
    11.
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    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    KatyElle      

    I didn't have a birth plan because I did not want to become fixated on a certain birth experience and then be devastated if it didn't work out. I've just seen people who were so determined to do it medication free their first baby having no idea what to expect and then being seriously depressed when they needed medicine or a c-section. So I decided that my first baby, I'd just see how it went, focus and do my best. I delivered vaginally as I'd hoped to, with epidural to help with the severe pain from back labor. This time around I'd like to try non medicated but again, am open to the fact that things can change and be flexible. I would also highly recommend The Birth Partner, super informative read.

     
    12.
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    1,255 posts
    Bumble bee
    Dandelion D    October 13, 2012   Virginia

    I realize some of what I'm about to say may bring the bad mommy police after me but here goes...I had a scheduled induction and also knew going in that I wanted an epidural as soon as possible.

    Let me say that I think everyone's pregnancy and birthing experience are different and women must chose what is right for their babies and their bodies. I am also a health care professional that worked in peri-operative anesthesia long before the idea of having children ever popped into my head. I was able to see first hand both sides of how pain medications and epidurals affect both mom and baby in labor. Sometimes it went so smoothly and sometimes it was pretty scary. I made my decision based on the course of my own pregnancy and the health of my baby. Had there been complications or concerns about safety, I very well may have made different decisions.

    I relocated 100 miles away when I was 6 months pregnant. I did not want to change OBs. I had been with the same OB/GYN for years and adored her and her style of practicing medicine as well as her philosophies on the birthing process. I continued to make the 200 mile round trip for regular appointments that were scheduled more frequently than usual since I was so far away. I scheduled an induction for the week of my due date. My plan for medication was simple: as little as possible but I wasn't out to prove anything to anyone. I wanted to actually be able to enjoy the process of childbirth not just suffer through it.

    I arrived at the hospital 4 cm dialted and my labor was beautifully smooth. The pitocin was started but never increased because I progressed easily. I recieved my epidural early but with just a small rate of medication. I felt as it my legs were asleep but not dead. I recieved just one dose of pain medication when the contractions started to really hit before the epidural medication had began to take effect. It was enough to relax me and get me through until the epidural was at a theraputic level. My OB believed in "laboring down," which is a process that I fully believe in providing everything is going smoothly and safely. Because I was allowed to labor down for a few hours, the actual delivery consisted of 2...yes, you read that right...only 2 pushes. My baby was born healthy and he and I were both fully conscious every step of the way. The epidural medication was turned off after my 2nd push and withing about 20 minutes, I had feeling back and was actually able to walk to the bathroom. The next morning I took 2 motrins and that was it. I honestly had never felt better!

    I consider myself blessed to have had such a pleasant experience, especially for my first child, and everything went just as I had hoped. However, if at any point things had gotten hairy or my baby showed even the slightest sign of difficulty with the medicaion, I would have changed directions right away. I also know that if I get pregnant again, that delievery will probably be completely different.

    All that to say....birthing books are great and birthing plans are even better but in my heart, I believe the best thing to do is to educate yourself about all the options you have and decide what you believe is the best for your family but be flexible. Let your baby (not the staff) determine how the birth process goes and follow his/her cue for what works.

     
    13.
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    Busy bee
    Tatum    October 2, 2010   Minneapolis

    @mmsva

    My baby wasn't growing, for whatever reason. I was gaining weight and eating like I should, but it just wasn't getting to her for some reason- perhaps a problem with the placenta, although they tested it and couldn't find anything too serious. Anyways, she was very, very small (under 6 pounds) at 39 weeks and in the 2nd percentile and the doctor just felt she'd do much better on the outside. I didn't have very strong feelings about my birth plan anyways, but even if I did, I doubt I would have felt strongly enough about it to risk the baby.

     
    14.
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    Buzzing bee
    mmsva    October 9, 2010   Alexandria, VA

    @Dandelion D: I really hope the bad mommy police don't get on you for your decision. One thing I love about WB is that most of us believe that we are all thinking women who can make decisions that are best for ourselves, our SO/FI/DH, our babies and our families. The best thing we can do as women is to support each other--whatever our decision may be.

     
    15.
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    Buzzing
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    bells    June 26, 2011  

    I agree with @barbie86: that it is an individual thing. Everyone has different opinions about labor and delivery. To each, her own.

     
    16.
    Member
    1,255 posts
    Bumble bee
    Dandelion D    October 13, 2012   Virginia

    @mmsva: Thank you! I'm still relatively new to the hive and so far I've been really impressed at how supportive everyone is.

     

     
    17.
    Hostess
    5,255 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Sulli301    June 26, 2010   Michigan

    I wanted a natural birth but was pretty realistic with myself that it may not happen! I did have a natural birth but I wasn't going to beat myself up over it if I didn't. 

     
    18.
    Member
    1,565 posts
    Bumble bee
    MissDareDevil    April 2, 2011  

    I was all gung-ho about having a natural birth. I have always been anti-intervention, and wanted to stay away from induction medications and pain medications.

    Now, at only 17 weeks I have been told I will most likely need an early C-section as soon as the baby is developed due to problems with the placenta.

    It was devastated. At least now I have another 17 weeks or so to get used to the idea.

     
    19.
    Member
    948 posts
    Busy bee
    eurekaanchovies    March 27, 2010  

    I found it helpful to have an "in a perfect world" type of birth plan, with the understanding that a million different things could happen that might result in an experience different from the one I had hoped for.  And I needed to be OK with all of the possible alternatives, because really, anything can happen.

    I went into my delivery knowing that an epidural was not an option because of a health condition.  I had hoped for a natural birth but I wasn't against pain medication if my contractions got painful.  I made it to about 5 or 6 cm before asking for pain medication.  From that point forward, it was about three hours before I delivered.

    I'd like to think I could have done it without the medication, but I can't help but think it was the medication that helped me relax -- and progress.

    I'd also caution you not to pigeonhole yourself into any one birth plan.  I also found it helpful to keep my eyes on the prize:  having a healthy baby, however she decided to arrive.

    Good luck!

     

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