Bisexual and Married?

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
1377 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Nope. I’m bi, marrying a man, not going to cheat, and find women attractive. I don’t think it’s a big deal at all, nor have I ever thought being bi means you’re confused – you just like what’s in front of you no matter if there’s a peen or a vag.

Honestly, I’m not sure what there is to make a big deal out of? 

Post # 3
Member
61 posts
Worker bee

I do think it is a big deal. I am in not gay or bi. And I guess I dont know what it is like. I just in no way think that both can be equally the same. If you are attracted to women then when you’re with a man only because society tells you thats what you are supposed to do and like… Its a lie to yourself. And theres also the thinking a women is good looking and then being sexually attracted to them. They are completely different. I just feel like one of them is a lie to yourself. 

And nothing against you as a person with thinking you would cheat on someone you’re in a relationship with. But the thought would definetly cross your mind if you do have a sexual attraction to other women. That is 100% who you are as a person .. nothing to do with being bi or gay its just who you are, and thats not a cheater. 

Just make sure you arent lying to yourself. Don’t try to convince yourself one way or the other, it needs to be what you really want and are as a person. I honestly believe you know inside what you want and if you have a man and are still craving women. Then maybe you should rethink things. 

Post # 4
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

c4rr134nn:  You literally have no idea how being bisexual works, do you? Do not proceed to shame us for our sexuality when you are completely clueless about what it means.

OP, being a bisexual woman is not a big deal. You are who you are and there’s nothing wrong with that. 

Post # 5
Member
85 posts
Worker bee

c4rr134nn:  I disagree completely! Also because you are neither i think it is very presumptuous and short sighted of you to say those things. This is the same as saying that a woman who is attracted to men will probably think of cheating on him after she marries a man because she is still attracted to men…it truely is the EXACT same thing. What gender you are attracted to has no bearing WHAT-SO-EVER on weather or not you are a cheater. And just because i find women attractive does not …. NOT NOT…. mean i would ever cheat on my fiance and it does not mean i am with him because society tells me to be with him. Your train of thought makes no sense to me at all…. and i find it insulting.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  Jako.
Post # 6
Member
998 posts
Busy bee

It’s not a big deal at all! On the sexual front, I like to compare being bisexual and in an exclusive relationship to having a sexual fantasy or kink that you don’t share with your partner. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with fetishes, but let’s just say a man is in an exclusive relationship with a woman and fantasizes about men. Obviously he still likes women; he wouldn’t be having sex with one if he didn’t. His attraction to men isn’t negated, it’s just in the background, so to speak, just like if that same man liked leather and bondage and his partner only liked bondage. The same goes for any other combination of gender and being in a same or opposite-sex closed relationship.

I really all hope that made sense. I may not be bi, but feel free to PM me if you want to talk more, OP.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  Luvdisc.
Post # 7
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I’m a lesbian. In my perspective being bi sexual is the same as being straight or gay when it comes to cheating. It doesn’t mean that you’re going to cheat with everyone that you find attractive, man or woman. Do straight women cheat with every guy they see? Do straight men cheat with every girl they see? Do lesbians cheat with every woman they meet? Do gays cheat with every other guy they meet? I think you’ll find the majority of the time the answer is no to every question. Being bi sexual does not mean that you’re a cheat

 

c4rr134nn:  so I guess people can’t like two tv shows the same. Or two songs. Or actors. Or movies. Or animals. Or foods. or anything else in the world. And if they do they must be confused. What a small minded person you are.

Post # 8
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

s2bmzbrown:  One of my very close friends is bisexual and married for 7 years. Of course, the 7 year itch has reared it’s ugly head and they have explored an open relationship (for her) to be with women. I attribute it more to having different ideas about marriage rather than her bisexuality. She got “permission” from her husband to date and sleep with other women, but not with other men. For him, I guess it doesn’t “count” if it’s with other women. 

She is incredibly sexual and would sleep with other people, male and female, if her hubby gave the OK. So I attribute her wants/needs as being more sexual than bisexual. Her hubby also has the green light to sleep with other people, but he’s not into that. And there are no threesomes or anything happening. 

Post # 9
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Mrs_Purple:  PREACH! I hate how bisexuality is seen as a cue for infidelity. Notice how I comment in my response that I think it has more to do with1. different ideas of marriage and 2. timeline in their marriage and NOT because she’s attracted to other women. 

Post # 10
Member
3346 posts
Sugar bee

c4rr134nn:  Whaaaaaaat….I have no idea what you’re trying to say. Like, what is your logic?

Post # 11
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Is it that different from me being straight and loving my FI but still finding other men attractive? Not really. I don’t see being bisexual as a big deal. It is something I do not fully understand, but then again my BFF is gay and I don’t understand his preferences. Hell…I don’t understand people who don’t love peanut butter. lol 

I have examples in my life of friends who are bi but happily married, and faithful – just like ANY OTHER RELATIONSHIP. 

My point is, personally, I don’t have to understand something to make it okay or “not a big deal”. You are who you are. You’re with the one you love. That’s all. It’s just made into a big deal when people do not accept that love is love. Right now our society is just struggling to accept that concept. 

Post # 12
Member
1377 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

c4rr134nn:  So, I can’t like two different desserts? Two different styles of clothes? I can’t appreciate something without immediately needing to have it? There is a huge difference between appreciating that many people are attractive and cheating. Just because I’m marrying a man does not mean that if I do so much as think a woman is attractive that I will immediately cheat on my FI, the same as any straight woman finding a different man attractive. Good lord, what a convoluted and mean opinion of bisexuals. 

Post # 13
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

As a straight woman, I don’t understand why being bi would mean you’re more likely to cheat than being straight/gay/whatever.

Post # 14
Member
5483 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

c4rr134nn:  Um wow … and now I wlil stop reading this thread.

Post # 15
Member
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I read this initial post and thought… hmmm… slow clap…

… however, it then seems that PP has decided to fill us in on the prejudices towards what seems to be the most reviled form of sexuality (as if nobody has heard all that before). Heck, even some gay people look down on bisexual people… just look at lesbian shows like the L Word, where bisexuals are confused, secretly gay, or “letting the team down” if they decide to be with someone of the opposite gender.

*Sigh*

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