Bit of a rant but really need to know if I'm in the right or not?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
932 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don’t think you are being unrealistic, but I do think that once you open the door and ask your parents for money tht gives them some say so whether you are borrowing and paying the money.  They likely view it as, why take money from a house fund to get maried when you could elope and take all of the money toward your future home. 

 

My philosphy is if I have to borrow any money then I need to scale it back, but that’s me.  I would scale it back and not borrow any money. 

Post # 4
Member
932 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Oh and you sould start to set some boundries as a couple now…. what happens when they give you the money for the house, will they want to have say in which house you buy?

Post # 5
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

He who pays gets a say. If you want no strings attached, look elsewhere. Personally, I’d pay for it myself and have the type of wedding you want. If you want to get married sooner, have a small, daytime wedding at a non-mealtime and have a cake and punch or dessert reception. There are ways to have a budget wedding.

Post # 6
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I wouldn’t fight them on two couples, personally. I realize it’s a bit odd with such a small guest list, but it’s not like they’re stangers! not worth the fight, to me.

The invitations are tricky. It doesn’t seem clear whether they are loaning or giving you that money, so I can see they might view this as them hosting… I think it comes down to how much you care about who your guests think are hosting. But I think you could just point out that you’re paying them back the money, therefore you are hosting.

As for the comments about eloping, etc… I think you may have to gently confront them on this and let them know that you will NOT be eloping and you’d appreciate if they’d stop it with those comments.

So Yes, you need to sit down and clarify the money thing. That will sort out the “hosting” question. And Yes, I’d discuss the negativity. But not at length. Just tell them to please stop, lol.

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