Weddingbee boards

DS got his first tooth about 3 weeks ago and the 2nd followed about a week later. Teething wasn't a big deal for him. A little extra chewing on things, but we didn't really know he was teething until after the 1st one popped through.

Nursing has been fine until last night. DS bit down hard while nursing. It was a night time feeding before bed. He went on to nurse fine, but the same thing happened again around 4am, and again around 10. Tonight I tried to nurse him a few times, and he kept biting me. He usually bites before moving his tongue forward to latch on. The one time I knew he was hungry but the second time he might have been not hungry or distracted. We've been dealing with distractions while nursing, since he'll whip his head around over and over, but never with teeth.

Tonight he bit me so hard he broke the skin. Then of course while getting up the bottle of breast milk spills and starts leaking out. I set DS down in his exersaucer so I can clean up and take a breather. He's crying/fussing, but he's fine.

DH comes up from the basement and I explain what happened and why I'm so frustrated and upset. Instead of having any sympathy or understanding, he's worrying about DS and if I'm going to give him a bottle now or what. Later he was standing holding DS and I came up to them and said (in a nice voice) "please don't bite mommy anymore". DH just looks at me and tells me that I can't talk to DS or look at him so mad because he can feel my anger.

I'm not mad at DS. I don't blame him. I know he's just a baby. When he bites, my first reaction tends to be to yell and pull away, but I'm trying not to. But I'm struggling with doubts about my ability to feed my child through this. Now that I'm expecting him to bite, I'm so tense that i won't let down very easily, making everything worse. I can't pump enough in a day to provide all he eats, and the very thought of giving him bottles of breast milk instead of nursing makes me so sad. I know others have made it through hard times nursing, but we've had a pretty easy time of things and I don't know about my ability to make it through the pain of him biting me. His teeth are so sharp. He's just 6 months old, but huge and strong for his age. My emotions are on overdrive and I'm so upset that DH took such an offensive stance, as though I am not a good mom, instead of trying to reassure me or sympathize with everything I'm going through.

There is a LLL meeting Wednesday, so I'm going to go. I have the day off from work because it is his 6 month well visit. I'm trying to use some of the tips on the Kellymom.com website and other posts here about nursing a biter. I didn't even nurse him to sleep tonight like I have every single night of his life so far - he got a bottle of EBM.

I've always seen myself as someone nursing to at least a year, and hopefully beyond. I feel so guilty for yelling when DS first bites me, uncertain of my ability to continue to nurse him, weak for not being able to handle the pain, inept for not being better able to tell why he is biting instead of latching on, and so angry and sad that DH isn't offering me more support. When it seems like he is doubtful or questioning my parenting, it makes me feel so awful.

Ok! I'm with you. My baby is 8 months and just started cutting teeth this a few weeks ago. She has bit me a handful of times and it was happening more often this past week.  It was the last straw when she bit me and laughed like she was playing after I yelled OUCH. It seriously hurt I almost lost it!!  I've been controlling my emotions and persisting because I really want to make it to one year (personal commitment) breastfeeding so I reached out. My friend told me what worked with her (told to her by another great 3 time mom) was flicking. She only had to do it twice and he stopped. So in my desperation, yesterday  I flicked her ever so gently on the cheek near her mouth,  a fly wouldn't have flinched, but she hasn't done it since. Today, she jumped off and started playing instead of playing with my nipple by biting. I'm hoping it's a turnaround. I'm prepared to try the flick a few more times. 

(I tried the pulling closer thing a few months ago but it's not working anymore.)

Thanks for the support/advice ladies! I did nurse this morning. It went well and he was on for about 5 minutes. But once DS started pulling away and arching his back, I stopped the session, since he was getting either agitated or distracted and I didn't think getting him back on would be easy. He went to daycare and got a bottle, so while I don't think he got a full feeding from me, he got another feeding soon after.

I didn't talk to DH last night, but I'm going to tonight. Last night I was a whole ball of emotions and it was a very tense evening. I got even more angry when I was struggling to get DS fed and ready for bed and DH was hiding in the kitchen eating some desert his mom sent back for the both of us. DH knew enough to just ignore me and eventually I got DS fed and to sleep. Then we both went to bed without really talking.

I just wish there was more solidarity between us when we are going through a tough patch. I didn't eat dinner last night because of everything going on trying to get DS fed and to bed, but DH doesn't offer to help and hides in the kitchen. If he asks to help, I usually just tell him to relax and eat. It's when he doesn't offer when I'm clearly struggling that makes me so angry. I don't really know how to cenvey this in a way that doesn't sound like I'm attacking him, but I need him on my side first and foremost. He should definitely know by now that I love DS more than anything and that I will do anything for him. But instead I feel like DH is questioning me, when more than anything I just need the support from him and the reassurance from him that he knows I am doing a great job and will figure it out. It's like if DS goes 5 minute longer before a feeding, that DH thinks I'm neglecting him or something.

Hopefully we can talk calmly this evening. I know I can be just about impossible when I'm struggling and frustrated, and I'm really trying to be more easy going, be nicer, not snap at DH and to communicate better with him.

He has been amazing at helping me more in the mornings with DS when he wakes up super early. DH is normally an early riser, and I am definitely not one, so DH has really listened and helps me so much during the week and on weekends, even when we are at his parents (which was the biggest issue for me before now).

So I'm no help with the biting, as my LO is only 6 weeks old, but what the hell is your husband thinking? Criticizing you on your breastfeeding?!? Um...last time I checked, he's not whipping out his engorged, swollen, aching breasts to a mouth full of biting teeth. Even though my daughter doesn't have any yet, she still gums my nipple around by grinding her jaw back and forth over it, and I totally yell when she does that. I mean, hell, it HURTS! I don't yell at her, it's more like an "AH!!" out loud. But she did eventually stop doing it, so perhaps I startled it out of her ;)

While I have more of the "Tell your hubs to STFU" mentality, it seems like you are in a much less-confrontational, calmer household. Perhaps you can sit your DH down and give him a nice informative talking-to. That hey, these are your boobs, with your nipples cracking/bleeding/pulling and he will never understand that feeling. So he needs to butt the hell out when it comes to telling you how to breastfeed. That's what the LLL, or your mom, best girlfriend, and pediatrician are for. Tell him once he becomes a lactation specialist he can put in his two cents. Until then, YOU are the one who decides how your baby eats, whether it's on the boob, or in the bottle. Trust me, you can still bond with a bottle. And your nipples will thank you!!