(Closed) bitter bridesmaid… what to say or do?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010 - Al Cielo / La Laguna

You should be honest and tell her the truth.  It sounds like there is something going on deeper than just her not being interested in your wedding. 

Post # 4
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Been there.  It totally sucks and there’s not much you can do.  There are a few options: either speak to her honestly and tell her that you’ve been seeing a change and ask what can be done to fix it, or you can continue to includ her and act as if nothing is wrong.  Then you could always continue to remain distant and not say a thing.  That’s what I did, because I didn’t want drama nor am I good at confrontation.  It didn’t make anything better, I’d stay away from that option.  In fact, I haven’t talked to this particular Bridesmaid or Best Man since the wedding.  I swear in my next life I’m not even going to have a bridal party at all!

Post # 6
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Wow. I can relate. I had this problem with TWO BM’s and my Maid/Matron of Honor. Two of the 3 came around eventually. Honestly, if someone can’t handle that you’re moving into a new stage of you’re life, they eventually won’t be around. It’s very sad and I’m sure you’re close but you simply can’t continue this way after the marriage. People either deal or they don’t. I agree with @ jennifer_espos. Do the best you can up until the wedding. Talk to her about it and continue to include her…but don’t ask for advice (she’ll just end up hurting your feelings) and see if she accepts things once your married. Worthwhile friends will find a way to cope with the new dynamic. Those too selfish to be flexible will eventually fall by the wayside.

Post # 7
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Oh gosh and wow. She is almost screaming for a fight with you. I totally agree with Jennifer Espos, I would just continue to include her in things and act like I didn’t notice her behavior, but never go to her for advice or to gab about the wedding again. I actually did have a Bridesmaid or Best Man who was kind of like this, got mad (crying) when I would talk about the wedding b/c SHE was so unhappy so HOW could I talk about my wedding to her? And made some passive/aggressive negative comments about things like making fun of the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, flowers, etc. I honestly just acted like I wasn’t bothered, laughed it off and fortunately for me she did eventually come around (although she did cry right in front of my face during the wedding reception).

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