Black Tie Optional wedding

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Black Tie Optional- what would you wear?
    Cocktail dress : (62 votes)
    50 %
    Floor length dress : (57 votes)
    46 %
    Other (please explain) : (5 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1403 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I love black ties!   I have a few gorgeous beaded gowns that I love to wear and BT weddings are really the only places I can wear them.  HAVE FUN!

    Post # 4
    Member
    2565 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I would get a long dress, because I just never have any other chances to really dress up and it would be fun.  On the male side of things if it was balck tie optional he wouldn’t rent a tux and would just wear a suit.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2642 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    For black tie optional, I’d wear a elegant, knee-length, cocktail dress.  However a floor length dress would not be out of place.

    If it were strictly black tie though, then you should really wear a floor-length dress.

    Post # 6
    Member
    5688 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I would wear a cocktail dress. I find people usually skew less formal and I wouldn’t want to be the odd one out. Are you planning on changing after the ceremony? A floor length evening gown at 1pm on a Friday would be strange.

    Post # 7
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I would definitely wear a full-length dress. How many occasions do you really get to wear one?

    Post # 8
    Member
    1403 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @LGenz:  Yea – When I asked my FI if his brother’s wedding was black tie optional he said “YES” but when we got there it was clearly not.   I was there in my beaded, floor-length gown and mortified.  He thought I was asking if some people were going to be wearing black ties.   REALLY?

    One of the bride’s bitchy bridesmaids was throwing me nasty stares all night, was rude to me in the bathroom, etc…  And lots of guests were coming up to me and commenting on my gown.   Not sure if they were being nice or trying to snark.  I’m assuming nice but I was still uncomfortable all night.

    Post # 9
    Member
    37 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    Hmm black tie optional for a wedding at one in the afternoon seems weird.  I voted for floor length dress until I read about the timing and now think cocktail or knee length seems more appropriate.  I had dreams about a more formal affair for my own wedding until I decided for picture purposes and a sunset cocktail hour, etc etc to make my ceremony at 4pm.  Which means groom/groomsmen wearing tuxes would be odd, which means suggesting guests wear one is probably odd, too.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3223 posts
    Sugar bee

    Black tie is 6pm or later.  I would probably go home and change between the church and the reception. 

    I would not wear a long beaded gown to an afternoon in a church.

    Since it is optional, I think you can get away with a smart cocktail dress. 

    I would also decide though based on the venue, discussions with the couple.  Like is there a full top shelp open bar?  Is there a 5 piece band?  Is there a plated meal with gloved service?

    If the answer to those is no, then it is not black tie, and I wouldn’t feel bound by black tie convention.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1555 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    For the ceremony, you can go more casual, a church approriate dress or even a suit. For the evening, a floor length gown is more appropriate. We are having a black-tie optional wedding and most of our guests are wearing gowns. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    1881 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    There really is no such thing as Black Tie Optional. Either it is, or it isn’t. But – regardless, I would wear a long dress to the reception. Because it’s fun, and following “protocol”. FI should wear a black suit (if not a tux). But I would also check with other guests and look into how fancy this reception is going to be. Is it a very nice hotel? In a nice area?

    Post # 14
    Member
    11379 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @andielovesj:  i agree.

    the ceremony time does not warrant a black tie event.  i would probably change between ceremony and reception.  if you do not have 2 dresses, go with the classy cocktail dress.

    Post # 15
    Member
    5207 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @valardohaeris:  Are you going with your SO? If so, find out what he plans to wear. If he’s doing the full-on black tie formal, wear a floor length. If not, wear a cocktail dress.

    Post # 16
    Member
    350 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    I would wear a nice cocktail dress to the ceremony and then a fancier dress to the reception. It can be a floor length gown or just a dressier cocktail dress.

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