Post # 1
I’m 100% sure I’m not the only bride who has gone through these feelings, but I’m just extremely frustrated and getting dissapointed with a lot of wedding related things. DFi & I are paying for the majority of our wedding ourselves (although I know if we really needed it his parents would pitch in, but I really don’t want that). The problem is, I feel like I’m trying to plan a steak wedding on a hot dog budget. We had our (cheap) photographer quit on us last week, so now I’m realizing we’re going to be paying an extra $500 (at least) for photography, which I really don’t want to cheap out on. We also had to change our reception site which is going to be more expensive. We priced out an open bar and it’s going to be at least another $2500, but I feel like this is one thing I don’t want to leave out. I’m just generally feeling blah about planning right now and I don’t feel like looking for another photographer. I know it’s all going to come together, but I needed to vent to people who would understand how I’m feeling and hopefully offer some cheering up!
Post # 3
I feel the same way sometimes. FI is insistant that we not elope because “you only get to do this once.”
By open bar suggestion, do it based on consumption not per person. We found that to be a lot cheaper.
Post # 4
Oh man, that’s pretty much how we decided to just go to the courthouse and make a big weekend of it without dropping a ton of money. It started with me feeling overwhelmed and then suggesting to DH that we just have a very small, intimate ceremony and whatnot, which turned out to be the best decision we could have made.
I’m sorry you’re feeling bummed out! Rest assured that no matter what you do for your wedding, it will still be special. 🙂
Post # 5
Awww, I know how you feel too !
Have you considered or is it at all possible to cut the guest list?
Post # 6
I went through this same thing. At times just feeling unmotivated and let down. I was so stressed about funds that I times I just wanted to give up, even though I am usually very creative and can problem solve very easily. It will pass as you get things done and it gets closer I promise.
Our wedding was a week and a half ago and I can honestly say that I wouldn’t have changed it and I’m so glad that DH did not let my whining convince him that we should elope. You just need to put on your thinking cap so that you can have that steak wedding WITH your hot dog budget. You can do it!
Post # 7
Completely understand! I just keep telling myself that it will all be worth it on our wedding day, but really? All this for one day? When we could just go to the court house today and be married tomorrow?
I totally understand eloping.
Post # 8
Thanks everyone… I wasn’t the little girl who dreamed about what my wedding day would be like, but I know I want to have everyone who means a lot to me be there. One thing I am really excited about is my DJ who is a former co-worker, I know he will play good music and I LOVE to dance with my friends (even though I’m terrible, DFi says he knows when I’ve had a bit to drink because I go out on the dance floor and my hands go in the air, hahaha!). Thinking about that just made me feel a little better :).
I think it’s just stressful thinking about the big picture sometimes, about how much we’re spending.
@SoontobeMrsA: I figured out how much it would cost per person and also by consumption (estimating how much people would drink, and estimating quite high to be safe). It was definitely cheaper by consumption, but the way my venue works is that they start with a full bar and then take inventory at the end of the night (they don’t count each drink), so that sort of screws up my beautiful open bar spreadsheets. I need to look into this more, but I’m all for consumption.
@ItalianLady: I did cut the guest list a bit the other day when I was getting our STD’s together. I ended up making a B list which I wasn’t planning on, but I was unsure about inviting a few people so I’m not sending them STD’s. That way I can send them an invitation if I think we can afford to have them, but if we can’t, they won’t be expecting an invitation if they didn’t get an STD.
I really don’t want to elope, but thinking about how much money gets spent on a wedding is quite outrageous. I also tend to get a bit jealous because DFi’s sister got married last year and his parents paid for all of it. My parents are helping us, but they can’t pay for all of it or even give us an idea of what they can contribute. I certainly wouldn’t change my life for anything, but if someone could give me like $15 grand that would be awesome and I promise to invite you to the big day .
Post # 9
I’ve been having a lot of the same feelings–especially when expensive, gorgeous wedding stuff is everywhere and so easily accessible (uhh really, “Four Weddings”? The cheapest wedding of all 4 cost $35k and all the other brides wouldn’t stop talking about how cheap/tacky everything was?). I’m just trying to not sweat the small stuff–maybe we won’t have a limo, or perfect invitations with little ribbon bows on them, or fancy favors that the guests are going to forget about anyways. I know the most important thing is that we’re getting married, and all our friends and family will be there to celebrate with us.
Also, my friends just got married and instead of an open bar, they just had beer and wine, but they had vodka (the new hubby is Russian) and whiskey on each table, along with little shot glasses. This little change saved them a lot of money, and 2 bottles of liquor per 10 people, plus unlimited beer/wine, meant there was plenty of alcohol for everyone.
Post # 10
@Pomapoo: If I had $35,000… I wouldn’t even know what to do with it. Just give me half of that, heck I’ll even take a quarter of it!
Post # 11
I know exactly where you’re coming from. I was at that crossroads a few weeks ago, and I’m sure I’ll go through it again! Thank goodness for my FI, because he reminded me how special all of this is to me. I talked to my mom (who is paying for half) and I was able to cut half of the guest list, and am doing a Cocktail/Dessert Reception instead of a full sit down dinner. It will be a ton of fun, and will be a great party!
If, in the end, eloping is what makes you happy, then I say go for it! Just know you have so many options.
Good luck 🙁
Post # 12
blarg… i’m sorry. wedding planning has his ups and downs and it seems like you’re in a slump. you could always consider a destination wedding?
Post # 13
@napabridekelsey: would love to share ideas about dessert reception- please PM me