Blech… Exes of our SO

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I can’t even imagine that! My DH and I have been together since we were 15, so I don’t really have that problem. I really don’t understand how someone would have the nerve to walk up to you guys and gush over your husband and their past together when you (his WIFE) are right there! How incredibly awkward!!

Post # 5
Member
291 posts
Helper bee

They’re pissing on him – metaphorically speaking! It’s a little bit of marking their territory, making sure that their past with him is acknowledged. That’s not to say they’re not being crazy, because they are!

Next time, i’d just give them a serene smile and say “I’m so glad your relationship didn’t work out – your loss is my gain” – and watch them froth!

Post # 7
Member
2578 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I had something like this happen on Tuesday. Becuase it was DH’s birthday, all the girls came out of lurking to wish him a “happy birthday”, and 2 in particular were like, “Happy Birthday to one of the bestest people I know! 😉 😉” and “Happy birthday, [brighteyedgirl’s DH], from ur Italian Princess“. GAG ME.

He worked with both of these girls years ago, and claims he hasn’t spoken to them in quite some time, but given the flirtatiousness, I’m not sure I believe him. It doesn’t help matters knowing that he was very flirtatious with them AT WORK all those years ago. I’ve heard stories of him grabbing their butts, txting them, etc. I’ve learned to forgive, and he’s given me no reasonto not trust him now, but it’s hard to forget… especially when stuff like this happens.

Post # 8
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

No, you’re not the only one!!  For me it’s really been just his long-term ex prior to me that I have to deal with.  I’m not worried about her in the least but I am very aware of her antics, of which there have been many.

She still travels in one of the same circles as we do, so I have to see her every so often.  Early on in our relationship, she would blatantly hit on him in front of me and take any opportunity she could to get him alone to strike up a conversation.  From there it moved to her being rude to me, to her acting like a complete bafoon in front of us (got completely wasted, belching and blurting out inappropriate things) and I’m not sure what to expect the next time we see her…..  This will be the first time since our engagement and since he deleted her from fb.  I’d love to not care at all but it’s impossible… she can be so obnoxious!  Her behaviour seems to vary a lot depending on how bold she’s feeling that day, probably related to the amount of alcohol she’s consumed. 

I feel your pain…. I wish she would poof and disappear from our lives completely but that’s not likely to happen.  I’d settle for her meeting someone and leaving us alone!

 

Post # 9
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Exes are annoying. His texted her the day after we got engaged to tell him that she was engaged. Cool? He said congrats and never said anything else.

I am also side-eyeing how she found out so fast. It was on facebook yet…and he blocked her months before the engagment.

At first, I did let it bother me that she was always trying to make contact, but now I just tell myself “I got the hotter, smarter, more amazing man. Poor girl. I kinda feel bad. She totally effed that one up!” and I start to feel better.

Post # 11
Member
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

There’s one chick – a rebound no less who even knew she was (ugh) – who is annoying as heck whenever we see her.  FI ignores her when we see her so she’s far less irritating but the fact that she’d talk to him and be all flirty and ignore me.  “WTF, you were a rebound – he wanted me to move 600 miles to be with him. I WIN”

Post # 12
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Mrslovebug: Why is he even trying to connect with them back?  If my husband had a random hook up or ex try to connect with him, he definitely wouldn’t respond in any way.  Your husband can’t control what others do, he can only control his own actions and responses.

 

Post # 13
Member
474 posts
Helper bee

His ex girlfriend is a crazy person.

They briefly dated for less than 3 months and this was 5 years before he and I met. They broke up and she got married shortly after.

Once he and I started dating she suddently sprung up. He had his page public, so I assume she saw photos of me and our comments. She friend requested him and sent him messages. He ignored her. 

Then she started trying to text him. He told her to move on and stop texting him. 

All of her messages progressively got more desperate. It went from “Hi, How are you? I just want to see what you’re up to in life.” to “I miss you. Please call me. I want to talk to you about something.” to “I know you have a girlfriend. I don’t care. You can be with me, too. I’ll come out to see you. *leaves new phone number*” Keep in mind she lives in another state.

He made his FB private, blocked her, closed his email address, and changed his phone number. She kept making new FB accounts just to keep trying to contact him.

This went on for a year! 

She finally stopped once I messaged her. I also forwarded all of her messages to her husband and family. 

I feel bad for the poor sap who married her.

Post # 14
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@Mrslovebug:  Not alone at all. My SO’s ex tried to “lure” him away after we’d been dating for a year by sending nude photos and saying she missed him and his manparts. It made me livid. I’d been skeptical of him being friends with her in the first place but he insisted things ended well and she was just a friend–I’m still close with an ex so I tried to let go of the bad feelings I had about her. She’s obviously been blocked on all fronts, but I agree with the poster who said it’s a girl trying to “mark her territory” that she’d been there. It’s sad that girls like that have no self respect or respect for anyone elses relationship, but it doesn’t stop me from getting angry or anxious/insecure feeling.

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