(Closed) Stay at home mom vs working mom?

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
1114 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m kindof on the fence on this one and it truly depends on what the situation is at the time we have kids.  But we’ve talked about it and the fact is I’ll probably be earning more than him, so it’ll probably be him staying at home with the kids.  Whatever we do, I’d prefer for them to be cared for by us rather than a childminder or nanny and would sacrifice some income in order to ensure that.

Post # 4
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m torn.  I don’t especially like working but I value my financial independence.  You never know when you might find yourself in a position where you need to provide for yourself and/or your children.

Post # 5
61 posts
Worker bee

Mothers had the choice to go back to work or stay home after the birth of their children.  It used to be more popular and widely accepted for moms to work.

Post # 6
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Well it totally depends on the situation. If my husband TOLD me that I should quit my job and stay home with the kids, I would respond with a resounding HELL NO. However, if we discussed it, and it made sense financially, I’d be willing to stay home (as would he if he had the lower paying job).

For me this is kind of a moot point though. I moved to another country with our son to be with Fiance. While my papers were being worked out, I didn’t have a choice but to stay home (as it was not legal for me to work). It has worked for us so far, and I am starting to get work that I can do from home.

The thing we need to work on as women is not to shame other women for their decisions to stay home or go back to work. A working mom doesn’t love her kids any less than a Stay-At-Home Mom, and a Stay-At-Home Mom isn’t any less intelligent than a working mom.

Post # 7
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

we are actually working really hard to reach that goal. we are both very traditional about our beliefs on the roles of a husband and wife. the economy makes it really difficult to adhere to our beleifs, so we are trying our best to get him further along on his career track so that i can be a full-time home maker (or at least part time, if we have to).

Post # 8
2820 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Oh hell no. I couldn’t do it, not for the long-term anyways (the first year while I’m on mat leave, sure). Plus, there’s the whole issue where I’m not even sure if I want children, LOL, so definitely not OK with being trapped at home with them all day, every day.

Post # 10
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I really want to be a stay at home mum, but whether we can afford for me to be will be another story!

Post # 11
3847 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

We can afford it, so I do stay home with our kids.  It is one of the best decisions we ever made.

Post # 12
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I will probably just have one child and I’d like to stay home until s/he is in pre school.  My Fiance supports that but I don’t think he would want me to be a stay at home mom indefinitely b/c my career is a big part of my identity.

Post # 13
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I have zero desire to be a stay at home mom. My job is always going to be the higher-paying one between the two of us, so it doesn’t make financial sense for me to stay home. The ideal situation for us is me to work and him to eventually stay at home or work PT.

@WoodenShoes:  Could not agree more with your last paragraph. I’ve had a lot of people try to fight me on my lack of desire to be a Stay-At-Home Mom. I say do what works for you. If you wanna stay home and it works for your family, great. If not, fabulous!

Post # 14
1132 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Those pictures confuse me, why is the mom taking her baby to work? Is that the only option for women if they work? What about the dad being a stay at home dad? 🙂

In all seriousness though, for my Fiance and I, we will talk about that when we have kids, but we are both open to either of us staying home or having both of us work depending on our financial situation and what seems best for our particular situation. I wouldn’t marry the kind of man who would “tell me” to stay at home, so I can’t really answer that question. I think the situation is different for each couple. My mom stayed home with me and it was awesome, so I’ll definitely consider that, and I agree with PP, no one should ever be shamed by their decision!

Post # 15
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

 NO, we could afford it however I love my career. Being a stay at home mom just isn’t enough for me personally. I also find it interesting when making these choices that the mother always has to be the one to give up her career. Which depending on some factors like how close children are in age and taking time off from work may make sense.

My mom worked growing up and I don’t feel family members and friends who had stay at home parents had a better childhood then me.

Post # 16
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

No, I woudln’t be able to handle being at home all day long. I need stimulation. Plus I spent way too much on my education to just stay at home. 

Though I could understand a woman staying at home until the kids go to school.

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