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That is pretty terrible! I just responded to questions like by smiling and saying: "Oh, we have all that information written down somewhere, but I'm too excited about the wedding to remember it all!!"
Good luck!!
I've had RANDOM people ask me about my ring. The kicker was the man at the post office who had the nerve to ask how many carats it was! Um, really? I'm not sure what makes people feel like its ok to ask this. I think mainly, they are just curious and aren't trying to appear rude. I know that doesn't make it any better...
But to be fair, I also have to thank my ring and all of its bling when another person was hitting on me (he didn't notice my ring) and then all of a sudden said "Whoa, that ring there is bright and shiny. Its basically screaming to me "Back off, back off!" I just laughed...
I think they are just curious. UNLESS they are making snarky comments or comparing it to somebody else's ring. If someone walked in with a HUGE diamond, my first natural question would be, "WHOA. How many carats is that?" It's not rude. But I definitely don't think people should be asking how much the ring is worth. That's like asking someone how much they make.
I guess I could *almost* justify the snarkiness if my ring were some ginormous honker of a diamond, but...it's not. It's perfect, but it's pretty average in size, in my opinion. Not too little, not too big. It just really put a bad taste in my mouth and caught me completely off guard!
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I don't mind answering visible questions about it (karat weight and carat of the diamond) because I feel like people are just trying to make polite conversation. However, I intentionally do not know how much he spent on my ring and most people don't believe me! I know that he selected my diamond as a loose stone and chose the setting for it, so I tell them that is as much as I know. People just love to sneak in rude questions, don't they?
This weekend at a wedding show, a girl I talked to in line told me it looked like my fiance spent too much money on a ring! I just said I wouldn't know and tried to move on.
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Carat weight, cut and color is reasonable if you know the person, but otherwise I think it is pretty nosy. Don't read into it, people are weird. :)
I'm not sure if I'd feel that bad about someone asking about carat, or maybe where he got it, but price is too nosy. I hear what you're saying, catrelle. If it was huge, it almost begs peole to ask about it. But if it's average sized, (like mine), it's kind of weird.
As you said, mostly women asked. I got that too. I think a lot of times they're trying to size it up compared to theirs.
@Crash, how strange about the girl who said you're FI spent too much money. How would she know? She was most likely jealous of your ring. I suppose it might be natural to be jealous of someone else's huge rock. But to try to bring someone else down to make yourself feel better is just bad ballet.
I suppose people just do not think about it cause they are the kind of people that wouldn't think twice if the question was asked to them. Which it most likely was! I'm glad to say no one has asked me how much mine was but, that is because it is pretty small (.5), not that it means anything cause its the quality that counts. Anyway no matter what happens in your life people will always have awkward questions that they feel the need to ask!
I did not have anybody ask the value or size of my diamond. It's actually pretty good sized, and it's a fancy yellow. I did have a number of people ask "What kind of stone is that?" I have had (in a year and a half now) exactly three people recognize it as a diamond - most people indicate they didn't know there were yellow diamonds. (Interesting.)
I wonder if this isn't more common because of where you live. I live in the Pacific Northwest, and I find that people here, and on the west coast in general, are pretty comfortable asking, for instance, how old you are. They seldom ask how much money you make, or what you paid for something. However, I've worked on the east coast as well, and people back east seem pretty comfortable asking how much money you make (shocking to me, as I would never consider actually telling them). My sister went to college in the south, and her in-laws live there, and she tells me that in the south you never ask a woman her age - which is not considered rude at all out here - it's something people ask when they barely know you.
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Just before we bought my ring, I was asking a lot more of the detail questions of people whose rings I loved. No one took it offensively, because it was all in the context of "hmm, what should we get..."
It's all in how people phrase it, but I think sometimes we lose sight of how we come off in conversation... It all sounds perfectly polite in your head (except for maybe the women who say the ring cost too much or what it appraised for-- I have a hard time coming up with excuses for that stuff;)
LOL...I understand that such questions may be considered invasive of one's privacy and impolite, but I'll have to confess that I sometimes guilty of such a charge! Usually, when I inquire or ask such "rude" questions, certainly I don't intend or mean to come off that way and cause an awkward situation. I would only ask such questions to those whom I assume are "social and friendly" based on how engaging and comfortable they appear in the conversation and I'll only ask if I were impressed and "wowed" by the size and beautiful quality of their rings. I guess I'm asking such questions more based on a rhetorical sense and don't really expect an answer unless it were freely offered. Those questions are meant to convey my feelings of being amazed and imprsssed by ther rings and not because I'm jealous or nosy...okay...maybe on a subconscious level! LOL
Usually my questions are along the following lines:
"Wow!! How big is that diamond/stone?" (I once thought a diamong ring on a particular woman was extremely big and beautiful (so shiny) but was soooo surprised when she told me it was less than a carat! I generally assume big-looking stones to be more than a carat but I learned it depends on cut and clarity.)
"Wow! That's such a beautiful and huge rock....it must have cost a fortune?!" (Again, everyone's standard of "fortune" is different. I learned that another girlfriend's ring was nearly 30K, which to me, IS a fortune, but to her, it was nothing.)
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I agree, people are strange. I also have been asked how much he spent, and I always just say, "I dont' know, it was a gift!"
people are really strange. and i've gotten every question in the book... how many carats? how much in total weight? yada yada yada. the best one i got was, "is that REAL?" CRAZY!!!
but here's some advice my sister gave me... laugh and joke about it. when someone asks you "how many carats?" or "how big is it?" just respond with, "smaller than an ice rink!" it makes me laugh just thinking about it now. hehe.
but honestly, it works and for the most part, it gets people off your back and they get the picture. there will still be a few people that won't take those kind of answers... but don't let them get to you. some people are just plain tactless!
When people compliment my ring (and probe for info), I usually smile and say, "I don't know, but doesn't it make my butt look smaller?" They usually get the hint that I'm not about to pull out an GIA certificate for them to examine. And we get a laugh and neither person feels awkward.
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People say the STRANGEST things about rings. When a friend of mine from high school, who I hadn't sen in a while, saw my ring he said, 'So are you guys like, rich now or what?' Family friends of my fiance (they live in a very different area of the country) just stared and looked all shocked and called others over to look but no one actually said it was nice or anything resembling a compliment. I adore my ring but I think it is on the average side of size. It is good quality and I think it is beautiful but I never expected the kind of reactions I get!
@ready2bmrsd: HA! Love your response! I will have to remember that!
Some people just have not been brought up in such a way as to know that it is not okay to ask such personal things. This is not an excuse--it's just sad. I'd just say be thankful you know better and use some humor to diffuse the situation. Maybe later they'll reflect on what they say and realize they may have been out of line.
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I know that this has been said a million times before, but maybe I just need to rant for a second.
From the minute that he proposed, people (ok, women) have been shameless about asking about my ring, which I expected. What I DIDN'T expect were the blatantly rude questions (at least in my book) about my ring--how much did he spend? (don't know, don't care.) Where did he get it? What about the diamond? Blah blah blah fishcakes. In my book, it's as bad as asking me what my last paycheck was.
The kicker was this morning, when I stopped by my mom's office, and a woman who works with her wanted to know what it appraised for. Seriously? This is considered polite conversation by a woman I hardly know?
Anyone else feel like this sometimes?
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