Post # 1
So, Im a hairstylist. I work for great clips. I make good money at great clips. I am 21 years old, I own my home and have money in a savings and beside my mortgage(71000) and school loan(Down to around 7000) only have about $500 dollars in dept. I have made good decisions my entire ‘adult’ life so far. I am proud of what My future husband and I have accomplished. However. He is considerably older then me. Matt is 36. He DIDNT made good decisions, he had alot of problems and now he’s trying to straighten things out. He’s going back to school, buying smarter and overall trying his best with what he has.
So. Yesturday a man sat in my chair. We started talking and I got a piece of advice I get allll the time from middle aged, early retired men… “You need to make a savings account and be smart with your money, make some investments” Ive heard this before. Investments are my next plan actually. So I laughed and gave him my normal(Proud)response “Well, Boyfriend and I just bought our first house so I think im doing pretty good for 21..” He replied: “OH. You and your BOYFRIEND? Does he live with you?” Well. Of course.
“DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD? YOU ARE AWARE YOU’RE LIVING IN SIN. RIGHT?”
..Excuse me? Its none of your DAMN business, and NO. IM NOT CHRISTIAN. I was SO blown away and offended by this man. I told him “I believe in god and consider myself more… spiritual than religious”
already offended and wanting to cut this mans ear off he then tells me that if i dont accept jesus into my heart that my soul is damned.
I just didnt respond for the rest of the haircut. Told him to have a nice day. I just could not believe a complete STRANGER felt it was his place to say these things to me and that it was okay.
Techinically i know my response should always be “Sir, im not comfortable talking to you about these things.” But i had to pull that card ALOT on election day and have learnt its a fucking red flag for “nope. dont agree with you” and i get bitched at.
When i came home last night Matt was PISSED, he wanted to kick the guys butt. hahah… Mostly because matt knows how much i try to respect EVERYONES beliefs.
Just kinda wanted to rant. :-/ Any bees been in similar situations?
Post # 3
Ugh this would totally piss me off too! I have never understood why people think they have a right to pry into other peoples lives… espeicially complete strangers!!! I am sorry this man made such mean comments to you and I can understand and sympathise that it annoyed you, but try to let it roll off your back. I have come to learn that sometimes you just need to develop a thick skin to not let the mean comments in. I hope that man learns in time that not everyone needs to share his own beliefs and everyone is different.
Post # 4
@mrslmbtobe: I was a hair stylist many years ago. I found the best way to deal with these sort of things is to omit as much of your own personal information from conversations as possible. That’s also a good rule of thumb as a safety measure. Stylists get stalked a lot.
Really, what these types of clients are interested in is talking to you about something they think they know a lot about so they feel important. You response, instead of “BF and I just bought a house”, should have been “That’s a great idea, tell me more!”. All follow up questions on your part, no offering of your own information. “That sounds interesting. How does that work?”, “Tell me more about that”, “Do you know any good financial advisors?”, etc.
If you give clients the opportunity to take center stage at all times, you will make them feel like the most important people in the world. You will also shield yourself from disclosing personal information, which isn’t really appropriate anyway.
Hope that helps.
Post # 5
Ya, I was pregnant with my son when I was 23. We werent married, and older men and women must instantly look for rings because I always got comments about having children before being married and being so young. Whatever!
No one told me it was a sin though, but I dont really believe in god so even if they did I wouldnt care. People just need to learn to keep their mouths shut. Its 2012, things are alot different from 40 or 50 years ago.
I mean, honestly I think it is damn weird to marry someone you havent lived with lol
Post # 6
I would not really open up about your personal life unless you know the person well. As haircutting is your business, you should tread lightly. Not to mention, the appointment should be all about the client, not the hairstylist.
It seems like you have a pretty good head on your shoulders. I honestly expected the man to criticize you for dating a much older man who does not have his act together yet (though he is working on it). I would not have bought a house with someone who is not together yet but that’s just me….