Post # 1
My Fiance and I are going to have an extended engagement (5+ years) because we want to finish grad school. We have been engaged for a whole week ( yay) and I have been pestered every day since then about my colors, when we will be getting married, who bridesmaids will be, where are we going on our honeymoon and so on and so forth.
I am overwhelemed allready! Tomrrow My mom is taking me to go look at dresses and she said to me, ” you are just so not excited about this are you?”
and I am not. It has kinda turned in to a chore to look at dresses, even online and I am just not as excited as i was say a week ago.
He himself has been bringing things up and looking at honeymoons and such, but that is different and does not stress me out so much.
I am not saying that i do not enjoy looking at things and shopping around and getting ideas, but I fear that I am allready wedding-ed out and I havent even started yet!!!
I don’t know how to tell everyone to chill out since they are all so very excited….
Post # 3
I can understand where you are coming from. If you are going to have a long engagement, it seems a bit silly to plan too much right now. If you try on wedding gowns now, they won’t even be available in 5 years.
Sounds like you need to put your foot down a little and politely say no.
Post # 4
Well, I know that if I had bought a wedding dress 5 years ago I would never get into it 😛 And friends and likes/dislikes change over that amount of time. So if you’re definitely waiting that long, then just tell people that you don’t want to make any big decisions too soon.
I don’t think that being excited about a wedding and going crazy about stressful wedding planning are connected at all! Trust me, I’m most excited when I’m NOT stressing. If you’re happy to plan the honeymoon, do that. Let everyone be excited and act extra excited if it makes them feel better, but draw the line at the planning. Tell them gently it’s your wedding and you’ll plan when you’re ready.
Post # 5
Just keep repeating that it’s going to be a long engagement. Reasons for waiting include change of dress styles in the next 4 years, change in availability of venues (places could close or new places opening), that you just want to enjoy being engaged.
Hang in there!
Post # 6
Just to be clear … you’re not getting married for at least five years and your mom is taking you to look at dresses tomorrow?
I don’t blame you for being annoyed already! For heaven’s sake, so much will change in five years … like dress styles. And color trends. And relationships with girlfriends who might (or might not) end up being bridesmaids. The last thing you want to do is start making decisions too soon and then change your mind 10 times over the next few years. It will take all the fun out of planning, IMO. And I guarantee it will result in wasted spending along the way.
I would tell mom and anyone else who pushes you that you know they’re excited, and you are too, but you’re not going to start planning for at least another two years for the reasons I mentioned above, and because you don’t want to get tired of it by the time the wedding comes around. If they bring it up, humor them but try not to engage. You can always enjoy browsing and getting ideas on your own, without other people presssuring you to make decisions too soon.
Good luck! And congrats, by the way!
Post # 7
Thank you for your responces.
I do enjoy just looking but it seems that when ever I see something I like and show them I get the ” ewww I dont think so” bit. I know that I shouldn’t care so much about what my family thinks of my likes ( it is going to be MY wedding afterall) but its hard to not feel down when everything that you do like is put down, even if it is going to be 5 years from now.
Its a weird feeling, like were in over drive, but i think it is closer to hurry up and wait.
Post # 8
@imalittlebirdie: Just one more reason not to share too much, too soon! Maybe keep your ideas to yourself for a while. You’re going to change your mind a million times, I promise – so there’s no point in getting all that negative feedback just yet. Give yourself time to solidify your ideas based on what YOU like. Then, when you finally share them, you’ll have more confidence that they represent what you really want to do and will be less susceptible to other people’s opinions. Remember: No matter what, not everyone is going to like your choices. Too bad for them – it’s your wedding!
Post # 9
In some ways I wish I had five years to get ready for mine. There are just so many details to see to. I would start looking at blogs and stuff and start weeding out what you like and don’t like. Pinterest is great for that! As to actually planning now, it is a little soon but do book your photog about 3 years out. My dream photog books out that far! If your mom wants to take you dress shopping that is fine but you can’t buy one for 4 years! You will change your style by then unless you are like me. Period costumes never go in or out of style :p