- 3 years ago
Reg bee going anon since I don’t want this personal issue to link to my reg account.
I live in a house of 4 people. 3 of us were there before, and we wanted to keep the place clean, so we implemented a cleaning rotation so that none of us were stuck with dusting. Roommate S and I are very happy with this arrangement, as we were doing most (all) of the cleaning before. I’m talking about things like dusting, vacuuming, cleaning the kitchen floor. Basic tasks. Roommate R doesn’t necessarily like it, but she’s willing to do it because she understands the house needs to be cleaned and it’s fair to split it evenly.
Roommate J is the issue. She claims that she does not need to dust or anything because it’s not hers. It’s not any of us either- it’s all of us collectively. But she cleans up after herself. We have seen no real evidence of this. She had friends over last Friday- six days ago- and there are still sticky cup rings on a table. Oh and they broke a lamp.
She agrees very reluctantly that the house does need to be cleaned. “Does” her chores. And by “does” I mean “does not.” The day she marked she cleaned the windowsill, there’s a giant cobweb in the corner. I noticed it the day before- same one. Clearly didn’t do her chores.
S and I confront her. She claims it didn’t bother her and was not her problem, so she didn’t clean it. UM, COBWEB?!?!?! WHAT DO YOU THINK THOSE COME FROM?!?!?! She was also on the chore chart for dusting/cleaning said sticky table from earlier, and marked it as done. It obvi was not. She claims she marked it cause she was gonna do it. That’s not how task lists work- you mark it after.
We talk to her, willing to compromise. I can live with dusting every other week if needed. But she flat out refused- said it did not need to be done period. That basically if it bothered someone it would just be done. No compromise at all.
She’s “too busy” to do chores. We’re all in college. She is no more busy than the rest.
Another thing- this is the landlord’s daughter. She tried pulling that card- ot’s her dad’s house. Right, but we pay rent, you do not. And we say the house needs to be kept clean and sanitary. Of course she runs to complain to him instead of dealing with it like an adult, or like a normal tenant.
So I get two calls from “Dad” that we need to talk. So does housemate S. Fine, we’re busy now, but we will call you tonight together when we are both free. Got a text from him saying he wants to talk to us separately. WTF?! Is he not man enough to face both me and S? I do not understand the point. S and I decided we will still call together. If he has an issue, he can deal. We plan on calling in a few hours.
I can not just move out (I have 10 months on my lease left, I’m not paying $5000 in rent to do that so please don’t suggest that), and the cleaning is not a big issue in itself, just something we were trying to handle before the landlord/dad wa brought it. I am upset because I was living here long before the daughter was. So has R. Even S has been here for a couple months before.
All I can think of are very passive aggressive things to do. Or something like if she refuses to clean, we will refuse to let her underage drinking go on (though she turns 21 in a few months).
I’m not sure if I’m venting or looking for wisdom, but if you have any let me know.