- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
One of my bridesmaids is my half sister. She is 18, and days away from starting her freshman year of college in a neighboring state (about 4 hours away). Her mother, my now ex-step mother (my dad is twice divorced) does not want her coming home the weekend of the bachelorette and shower (They are on the same weekend, to make it easier for out of town girls).
In a lot of ways I understand. The timing is not good- its two weeks after school starts. And I completely understand parents wanting kids to stay at college the first month or so without coming home so they can get acclimated. It makes sense, it really does.
But there is this added layer of step-mom being overly controlling when it comes to this wedding. Asking me to only contact HER with all bridesmaid things- such as the plan for hair/makeup and shoes, jewelry, etc to “make sure things get done”. instead of contacting sister. She did the same with my half brother when it came to tux rentals. (he’s 20). From my perspective, my sister has been very mature and helpful during this whole process. She has responded quickly to communications, and has made time in her schedule to attend dress shopping days and things like that. I know she is only 18, but she is not a child either. She worked two jobs over the summer and is paying for wedding things with only a little help from her parents.
Also, neither of my siblings has ever been to a wedding, much less been involved in one. Sister has been CRAZY excited through this whole thing and she was REALLY excited about the bachelorette and shower. She even looked up train times on her own to get down here for it. I would never be mad if this was her decision to not come to these events- they are not mandatory. But she really wants to come, and while I understand the “don’t leave school” thing, I wonder if this may be a sittuation where an exception could be made. (that’s just me though).
I should also note that my Maid/Matron of Honor has (on my request, because of my sister) taken special care to make events of the bachelorette party accessible to those under 21. I have been very clear about this, so if that is what step mom is worried about, she is mistaken.
I am about to respond to an e-mail step mom wrote to me about dress alterations, and I want SO badly to say something else about that weekend, but I have pretty much made the decision to stay out of it from here on out. It is not my place to ask her to change her mind (or in any way undermine her parenting choices).
So I guess this is just a vent. It just makes me sad that my sister won’t be there- especially since she wanted to so badly. 🙁