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Ugh, rude. I don't really know if a dress can be let out again after it's been altered shorter? If they can , I'd bring it up to her in the nicest way possible like, "I'm sure the dress looks nice above the knee but I'm going for a more cohesive look.. any chance you could let it out, just for the wedding?" and see how she reacts. That was rude of her to do it without asking. Is she the MOH? I think it would look ok if she was....
Unless you specifically told her that all that all the dresses should be a specific length, then there is nothing you can say or do. She probably wanted to look better, feel more comfortable in a shorter dress. As a "shorter" person, I can say that dresses below the knee do not work for me so I will always shortena dress to the knee or just above unless I am told not to.
I agree with the PP I am 5'1 and look horrible in dresses that are below the knee. Is she short too? but i would have asked before i did it.
I wouldn't worry too much about it. The BM in my wedding the dress didn't fall exactly the same on their legs and I don't think anyone noticed or would care. I have one BM who is barely 5' and would have looked like an oompa loompa if she hadn't gotten it to sit above her knees.
Oh dear! Well unless she is your MOH or all the dresses are different styles (which it doesn't sound like)...she is definitely going to stand out compared to the other girls.
How to fix this...well you could leave it as it is if you don't really care too much at the end of the day. I agree that you aren't going to be able to lengthen hers again - it will not look the same. BUT what if you could get one more girl to shorten hers as well? Then you could have them lined up so that the dresses are tea length and knee length alternating and it would not be so obvious that way - it would look like it is supposed to be that way. You could also get them all shortened, but I like the tea length too so I wouldn't want to cut all of them just because one BM did that on a whim! You still have time to fix things if you wanted!
I don't think you'll actually notice... I was a BM in a wedding last summer, we're all different heights so the dress fell differently anyway, but one of the girls had hers shortened (it looked way better than ours I thought, bc I would have done the same thing If I'd been closer to a seamstress) ANyway, back to the point, in the pictures you can't even tell that she altered it. Mainly because we're not all the same height, so the dress sat differently on each of us.
As rude as it was not to consult with you first, I think your girls will still look cohesive and awesome :)
Altering a dress from tea length to cocktail length totally undermines the whole everyone-get-the-same-dress thing. Maybe the seamstress left a big allowance (extra fabric in the hem), so you should ask her to have it taken back down. Point out that you picked the dress as it was (tea length) and all the BMs are wearing them as such.
Do you think she got confused somehow, like did you tell the girls to have their dresses altered without specifying thaty you meant to alter the bodice to fit them?
I don't think this is such a big deal. The idea of doing it "without my permission" kind of rankles me, assuming she a)paid for this dress and b)paid for the alterations. It's a courtesy that she bought it in the first place and is showing up to support you at your wedding. I would just roll with the punches, because it will likely be one of those things that isn't really that noticeable (as previous posters have said).
Sometimes people are just plain rude. It was very inconciderate of her to do that! When she brought it up to you did she appear as if it was done in malace?
If so....she deserves a comment. If not there is a good chance that her manner are just poor!
I dont think its a big deal at all. Its such a small detail compared to what the day is really about.
Well, I think she might have asked you first! That's a bit cheeky. I prefer things on or just above the knee for myself, but I would never have done that kind of alteration without talking to the bride first.
Unfortunately, as you say, there's not much you can do about it at this point. As someone else suggested, I suppose you could get everyone to get their dresses taken up if you want to make sure they're more matchy. Or is there anyway to get everyone together to try their dresses on and see how much she stands out? It might not be as bad as you think.
I can see why you'd be frustrated -- you've obviously got a very specific vision of your wedding day and it must have caught you off-guard. It's especially difficult since it's not something that can be undone.
I certainly wouldn't have handled it the way she did. As a bridesmaid in an upcoming wedding, I got my dress and found that it needed alterations (strap issues). So I contacted the bride, told her what I thought needed altering, and asked her if there was anything else she wanted done. I gave her a chance to weigh in before I took it to the tailor, and it would have been courteous for your bridesmaid to do the same. But she didn't.... c'est la vie.
At this point, I don't think there's anything constructive that can come from telling her you're disappointed. Try to let it go and not sweat the small stuff. One slightly shorter hem will not ruin your wedding day. You will have so much to enjoy and be happy about, I bet you won't even notice it! (unless she made it a mini! 
) But if you're really worried, maybe talk with your photographer about it and discuss what kinds of pictures would make you happiest.
De-stress, have a happy wedding 
She is short - about 5' tall so I am positive that she did it to make the dress look better on her. I totally get that. It's just that she has now done about 3 things without asking that have bothered me. However, I think that if I say anything she will blow up at me and then we will be in a fight - which is not good. (She has already told me that she is jealous that I am getting married and going to start TTC right away and her BF just broke up with her.)
I am more upset that she did not tell/ask me FIRST.
I appreciate the advice and I think you are all right - I have 5 BMs from 5'7" to 5' tall so the tea length will hit everyone at a slightly different length. I just hope it's not ridiculously short!
Thanks for helping me relax!
If she is doing multiple things that keep upseting you then you need to bring them up with her. While separarely her actions are not a big deal compiled together it seems that she just wants things her way and not how you have envisioned them. I would bring your issues up with her in a calm way and in private and hope for the best. If she blows up at you remind her that you are not attacking her, but that her actions have seemed to undermine your wishes. Good luck!!!!
I'm not a bride or a bridesmaid (yet), but just as your average, run-of-the-mill woman ; ), I think it's rude. You asked them all to wear the same dress for a reason.
I too am only 5"1, but if I were asked to be a bridesmaid and wear a dress of unflattering length, I would 1) ask the bride if it was okay to play with the hem; or 2) suck it up because it's not my wedding and not my day to look totally amazing. It's my day to be supportive and (if desired by the bride) in uniform with the other b'maids.
The fact that she's doing these things without talking to you beforehand indicates that she's a bit underhanded. It's not as though she's clueless- she told you about it, but only after she'd already made the change. That's intentional.
If I were you, I would ask the b'maids to get together for a quick dress fitting, under the guise of making sure everyone has what she needs. If they all line up and your friend's dress looks completely out of place, feign surprise and ask the seamstress to fix it ASAP! She'll be too embarrassed to make a stink about it.
She can have the dress hemmed again after the wedding.
I guess I might be a future Bridezilla-in-training, but what bothers me the most about your friend's behavior is the underhandedness of it. Fight sneaky with sneaky.
That said, if she puts on the dress and it appears she only changed it to make it look tea-length on her smaller frame, no worries!
But the mini-dress deal is unfair to you and the rest of your bridal party.
If she's repeatedly doing things that are bugging you, try having your MOH speak to her about it, or at least be on the lookout for things to clarify (like for jewlery on the day, if the BMs are going to match make sure the MOH is clear about it instead of you having to check up on things).
Ithink it's annoying. She should have checked. HOwever, I can't help but think that unless BM dresses are floor length (and specifically shortened for those needing it), YOu'd likely have the hems falling at different places on each BM. Between different shoe heights and their individual height, I think there won't be an even line.
All 5 dresses are all uniform in color and style. I truly have no idea how short the one BM hemmed her dress without my approval. Yesterday, I sent an email to all 5 BMs just to be sure everyone's dress fits, they all have the right heels, and asked if any of them got any alterations to be sure to email me and let me know. I explained that I had a terrible nightmare about the BMs and their dresses and needed to know so I could relax after this dream. She is the ONLY ONE who did not respond to my email. Hmf.
She has had really odd behavior lately and yes, she is undermining me. Because of all of these things lately, I am losing faith in our friendship. But I know beyond a doubt that if I bring these things up in a non-threatening way, she will definitely back out of being a BM, not come to the wedding, and therefore, our friendship would be over. It is really not worth it to me and I just hope someday when she plans her own wedding, she will realize all the things she did to me and her lack of etiquette. I'm hoping....
She absolutely should have asked you first. I was in a wedding where we had to wear dreses with tulle, and one of the BMs took the tulle out of her dress - and didn't tell the bride until she showed up for the wedding! It altered the look of her dress dramatically. Sure, she thought it looked "better" (it didn't), but I felt bad for the bride who obviously wanted us all to have the same dress.
Umm... you're losing faith in your friendship because she hemmed her bridesmaid dress?! Assuming she paid for her own dress and alterations, and you never stated that the length had to be uniform, I think you need to lighten up. I am sure all your bridesmaids are different heights, so the skirt lengths wouldn't look the same anyways. Wouldn't you prefer that your close friends feel attractive on your wedding day?
yeah it was a crappy thing to do. The one good thing that can come out of this---the hems will all "line up" when they stand in a line. So maybe in the big scheme of things it isn't a big deal.
@peanutlovespumpkin
I think you are missing some other details. The fact she altered her dress is certainly not why I am losing faith in our friendship. Wow.
Wow. Well, there isn't much that can be done. Hopefully it is not too short. But Tea Length dresses do not exactly look good on everyone. I am short and well..they look terrible on me.
Rude. But I honestly doubt anyone will notice but you. Thank your BMs who have been supportive.
I don't understand how anyone can think this is anything less than rude. Even if you didn't specify that you didn't want them to alter the dress, it's an unsaid rule that she should have asked your permission, at the very least.
Enough venting. Let's solve this problem. :)
Is the dress way above the knee like a mini skirt? Maybe no one will notice if she didn't have it altered much. You could ask her to see a picture of it or see her try it on.
Is the dress very expensive? Perhaps she could sell it on a website like oncewed.com or ebay.com and purchase a new one. A shorter bridesmaid who has been asked to wear this same dress in a different wedding may be able to use it and would appreciate the cheaper price tag.
Good luck!! :)
I think that she should have at least asked your opinion first, for courtesy's sake.
That said, I agree with everyone that tea-length dresses will definitely fall differently on all your BMs (although probably not above the knee), so they wouldn't have looked completely uniform in the first place. If I were you, though, I'd want to make sure (like brideatbeach mentioned) that she didn't have it shortened to miniskirt length!
I would be very upset if this were my BM. I know you said it may strain your relationship but I would at least talk to her and mention that it's not ok that she did this without asking. She doesn't sound like a very good friend from what you've said :\
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My 5 BMs are wearing a tea length dress which is below the knee. One of my BMs altered it to make it shorter - above her knee. She didn't ask but told me this over happy hour the other night. I was caught off guard and didn't really say anything but, "Oh! Okay." I am now thinking of pictures and the fact that everyone will have a dress below the knee and she will have hers above it. I am disappointed but feel like there is nothing I can do - she can't add fabric at this point. What should I do? Nothing? Tell her it's disappointing?
Please advice.