Post # 1
So I’m trying to be a “relaxed” bride and not let the little things get to me, but I just have one thing I can’t seem to let go. And I have no idea what to do. One of my bridesmaids insists on bringing her children with to everything. She has three great kids whom I love! But she also has a lot of family in the city who can babysit. I’m just not sure why she doesn’t find a sitter?
She brought them with when trying on dresses which they proceeded to run around the entire time. I didn’t say anything because I figured she didn’t have a sitter. But she has since brought them to everything else too. She brought them when picking out bridesmaid dresses and trying on bridesmaid dresses after they came in. She brought them with when all the bridesmaides came with to help me get invites together. Now what worries me is my shower/bachlorette party is coming up and I’m worried she will bring them with to that. I love this friend and she does have three great kids but I really do not want to celebrate the night with kids running around. I thought it would be more of an adult girls night out.
Would it be awful of me to request no kids at the shower? Or do I pull my friend aside and politely ask her to get a sitter or leave the kids at home with her husband? I don’t want to offend her in any way but I’m just at a loss as to why she always has to bring them with. Am I overreacting here? Any suggestions would be great! Thanks!!
Post # 3
How old are they? It’s pretty expensive to get a sitter for just one child, so for 3, it just may cost too much for her.
Post # 4
They are 9 months, 7 and 8. Both her and her husbands families live here and are always asking to see the kids. Which she has no problem having them watch them for her and her husband to go out on the weekends. Plus another one of my bridesmaids has a daughter who is 16 who has offered to watch the kids for free, but she always refuses. We are all close so it’s not like her daughter would be a stranger either.
Post # 5
Can her husband look after the kids, regardless, that is not really your problem, it is totally ok for you to ask her to not bring kids, i would put adults only on the invites!
Post # 6
Honestly, I think it’s a waste of money for her to get a sitter to come try on bridesmaid dresses and to hang out at your house to assemble invitiations. But, I would also hope that she would recognize that a bachelorette party absolutely is not the place for a child. Could you ask one of your other BMs to quietly ask her about not bringing the kids to the bachelorette party? That way it’s one of the hosts of the event requesting it, not you.
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards
If shes old enough to have an eight year old, she’s old enough to know kids don’t co e to showers.
Where is the husband in all this? All of our male friends hang with their kids while their wives are doing things like this.
Post # 8
I understand sitters can be expensive, so that’s why I have not said anything. I guess I’m not sure why she doesn’t have her husband watch them? I know he has been home on occasion, but he works shift work so has been working on others so I’m sure that’s obviously why she brought them with on those days. I can talk to my MOH who is throwing the shower to maybe mention no kids. Thanks for the suggestion.
Post # 9
A babysitter isn’t the only option. I also am going through the same issue with a friend, and she is the same brings her kids everywhere, even if her husband is at home. I do think someome should pull her aside and let her know those events are adult only. Hopefully for the bachlorette perhaps you guys are going somewhere like a bar or something where kids aren’t allowed.
Post # 10
I’d just ask her to not bring them to the shower.
My best friend has 8 kids!, i don’t even have to ask her to not bring them to the wedding, she just knows what i want (I have 4 of my own) they have come along to most things too but, not all.
I’m sure she realizes that it won’t be a good idea to bring her kids to your shower or bachelorette party.
Post # 11
@Mrs. Mink: We always have the little girls in the family at showers, so she may be one who will want to bring her daughters. I see nothing wrong with having children there.They don’t belong at the batchelorette,tho, and if the Mom has half a brain, she won’t even consider it.
OP…maybe the things you’ve mentioned are ones where she thought would be short and sweet and she just wasn’t thinking about how they’d be. Not an excuse, but it happens.
I’d stress to all that your upcoming events are adults only if that’s what you’d prefer, and maybe she’ll get the hint. If not, have one of your other friends tell her outright.