Post # 1
Bridesmaid or Best Man E is my cousin and lives an hour and a half away from me. With our wedding less than a month away, my cousin decided to call me yesterday because there was an issue about the day of the wedding. I wasn’t able to answer the call because I was working, so I called her later (she didn’t answer this time- phone tag!).
I woke up this morning and checked my emails on the phone and saw an email from my mom. Apparently my aunt told my mom that Bridesmaid or Best Man E is re-taking her LSAT the morning of the wedding and it ends at 1:30 and they won’t be attending the rehearsal.
The problem with this is that 1) it takes an hour and a half or so to get from where she lives to where we live 2) that drive has a LOT of speed traps with tons of cops 3) pictures will start at 2 the day of the wedding.
Everything about our wedding was going relatively smoothly and then THIS happened. I can understand where Bridesmaid or Best Man E is coming from (as I’m a full time student as well), but it upsets me that she’ll be missing out on pictures before the ceremony. I think I’m upset too because this is the first thing about our wedding that really hasn’t run smoothly. Plus, Bridesmaid or Best Man E hasn’t been to ANY wedding events at all (I’ve had 5 showers and my bachelorette) so it really bums me out that she isn’t coming to the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, AND will miss out on before-the-wedding pictures.
Am I in the wrong to be upset? (I cried for a min or two but now I’m just venting) Has something like this happened to any of you? I need something to make me feel better
Post # 3
I’m so sorry that you are going through this and I wish I had some ingenious plan that would fix everything but I don’t. 🙁
Maybe, to make yourself feel better, you can think about all the things that have gone right so far and all the people who will be there for the wedding pictures. Usually sitting down and listing what we are grateful for can be a great mood improver, at least, it usually is for me.
Post # 4
Oh no. That’s such a bummer. When I’m in a wedding I set aside the whole day of the wedding and the whole day before Not that everyone needs to do it that way; it just works for me. What time does your ceremony start? Will she be able to be ready in time? Also do you know how often the LSATs are offered in yoir area? I dont think that its a once a year type test in my area. Maybe you can encourage her to reschedule, if you know its possible. Hope it works out!
Post # 5
I think if this is the first thing that has gone wrong you are very lucky!
And I’m sorry but just as your wedding day is important to you her LSAT should be just as important to her right now. You can’t really control dates of those exams.
Post # 6
CMSnails– you are definitely right. i do have lots to be thankful for. thanks 🙂
edub – our ceremony starts at 4. apparently Bridesmaid or Best Man E is going to be doing her hair and getting dressed “in the car” on the drive there while my aunt and uncle drive. sadlly, the next LSAT is in april. i know she needs to take it (and i’d never tell her to reschedule that because that test is incredibly important) but i just wish the test date makers had picked a day other than our wedding. boo. 🙁
regberadaisy – we are really lucky, i admit. there have been other tiny snags, but this one was a big one. i’m supportive of her re-taking her LSAT, just wish it’d been on a different day. unfortunately, the next LSAT is in april. i’m happy that she’ll at least be here for the wedding, but sad she’s missed out on pretty much everything else.
Post # 7
That seems odd to me that she would have to take the test on that certain day as I know they’re offered several times throughout the year. However, if she’s already paid for the test, she would be out all that money if she rescheduled now.
I guess I would just go with what PPs said and be thankful that this is the only thing that went wrong for your wedding. My MOH’s flight ended up getting delayed due to weather for our wedding, and she didn’t make it in town until about an hour before the wedding. Her dress was wrinkled in our pictures because she had to literally rush to the church and she missed getting ready with us, but I just kept reminding myself that what mattered was that Darling Husband and I were tying the knot, not that everything with our bridal party ran smoothly.
I totally understand you being upset, but keep things in perspective. 🙂 *HUGS*
Post # 8
@brideatbeach– i’m not sure if she’s paid yet for her exam, but i think she just found out this week that she didn’t pass the LSAT the first time. she took her first one in august, but i guess the only one coming up is in december, and then there’s another one in april. i wouldn’t DARE ask her to reschedule but it definitely stinks that she’ll be late. i have to say, i’ve been saying “nothing matters other than Fiance and i are getting married” and i just need to keep up my positive attitude. thanks for the help 🙂
Post # 9
@vintagemodernbride: I think it’s totally understandable that you were upset, but I think your positive attitude is great! It sounds like your Bridesmaid or Best Man tried to plan things out in advance but unfortunately things didn’t go as planned. 🙁
Post # 10
I think that your reaction is normal. Of course you want her to bet there, and it sucks that she isnt going to be in some of the pictures. But I think you have a really good outlook on the whole thing. If this is the worste thing that happens surrounding your wedding it will be just fine!! She will be there, and even though late is annoying everything will work out.
Post # 11
the timing really, really sucks. if she’s applying to law school this year, she really does need to take the exam asap rather than waiting until april, so it’s great that you’re being understanding about that. of course it’s upsetting, but i think the best thing to do is just take some deep breaths and remember it’s out of your control. if she doesn’t make it on time, sucks for her, but what’s important is that you’re getting married (yay!!) and she’ll be there as soon as she can.
Post # 12
Sadly I can’t see how she could be a bridesmaid.
Post # 13
@WILLIAKELLLB: I agree. I orginally asked my cousin to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, but asked her to step down because she was not involved in any wedding activities. I understand she has to study because the LSAT is a very important test, but if she agreed to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man she had to understand she had obligations to you as well.
I also think your cousin should have called you before yesterday to talk about the scheduling issue.
Post # 14
-WOah you had 5 showers?! anywho, yea.. cut her some slack.. you obviously know it is very important.. I am pretty sure the LSAT is like the MCAT, you dont “not pass” you are allowed to take it more than once (MCAT is 2 times only) to get into Law school.. so if her scores were low and she needed to retake at a specific date to get in to school at a certain date then it is totally understandable. Just have her show up when she can.. have pics of her when she gets there.
Post # 15
So the LSAT is offered in June, October, December, and February (not April). It’s unfortunate she didn’t take it in October, the “standard” time. [ETA: I see she did take it earlier but didn’t do well.] June is generally considered early while December is late because you can’t really apply early to law schools and get the edge on the competition that way. (You also don’t know how well you did to help guide you in picking appropriate schools, and apply blind.) That said, February is really too late to take it to apply for school starting in 2012. She’s stuck with that date. (ETA: Btw, it’s also not a “pass/fail” type test…she may not have done as well as she liked, but she didn’t “fail” it. Most schools will also average scores, so she should make sure to study as hard as she can for the retake.)
Next, I’m sorry to inform you, but the LSAT is likely not going to end on time at 1:30. Mine ended late, maybe 2PM? There’s just delays in giving test information, starting, etc. so it doesn’t always end as planned. Please warn her to be prepared about that.
Finally, I absolutely think she can get ready in the car. It sucks she won’t be there for the getting ready part. Maybe go over the wedding ceremony with her beforehand (like, soon, before she gets wrapped up in the LSAT, and finals if she’s a student) so she knows what to expect? And try to rearrange to do bridesmaid pics after the ceremony.
Post # 16
I can definitely see how this can be upsetting, but I really do think you have a fab attitude about it. Its great to see a bride who is willing to be flexible. I’m sure in the end it will all work out.