Post # 1
I’m not really sure if I just need to vent or if I’m looking for opinions on how I should “fix” this situation but I’ll keep it (relatively) short and accept responses 🙂
Our colors are brown and green. While I was ok with getting brown BM dresses, I wasn’t really struck on that color for a dress. I looked and looked for them but just couldn’t find anything. My FI and I came across the most charming, gorgeous, black dresses (IMO) and went with it. Black matches everything and it wasn’t a problem for me that the dresses were black while everything else was brown.
Its been brought to my attention from one of my BMs that another BM came ranting to her that I will regret my pictures because black isn’t one of my colors and I will wish I never went with black dresses, blah blah blah. While I was picked up for saying the brown is only in the decor, not on any persons whatsoever, not in accesories or tuxes or flowers, I still feel so blasted. Why couldn’t she come to me about it? Why did she need to rant to someone else about something so trivial. I knew she wasn’t struck on the idea since it came about but I thought she was over it. Should I confront her about it? I don’t want her to realize my BM told me what went down get on her back about it too.
If there’s anything I’ve learned from wedding planning, its that the little things don’t matter. I’m marrying my best friend. That is what its all about. It’s nice to have pretty things and work hard on the details, but why stress it. I’m getting MARRIED! I think I’m just looking for a pick me up. I’ve realized how silly this is after typing it all out.
Does anyone have any advice? Should I let it go or bring it up to her? We’ve already had another incident regarding my mom and I think my problem is I just don’t want her to get away with it again. Grrrr. Thanks for listening.
Post # 3
HA! I said I’d leave it short… sorry 🙁
Post # 4
Aww, I’m sorry, don’t let it get to you. Your other BM shouldn’t have even told you about such a minor incident. Why even bring it up?? I know I’ve been in weddings where I bitched the shoes I was made to wear, etc., but I would have felt absolutely terrible if it had gotten back to the bride and made her feel bad.
Post # 5
@JavaBean: If it bothers you that much I would ask her if there is something she needs to talk to you about…. If she does not want to bring it up then I would let it go…..
Post # 6
I would just let it go. She may have said it to the friend instead because she didn’t want to influence anything you’ve decided for your wedding or hurt your feelings. I don’t think your other friend should have said anything to stir up trouble.
Post # 7
Personally, if I were a bridesmaid in a wedding where the colors were green and brown, and I was told to wear a black dress, I would probably comment to another bridesmaid that it seems a bit off. They may not know the exact details of the decor and flowers, so I think it’s an honest thing to question. I don’t think they are “dissing” you or trying to be mean spirited. Maybe instead of confronting them, just bring it up causally about what everyone else is wearing and how it ties into the overall look. It will answer their question without making an issue out of it.
Post # 8
@mightywombat: I agree that the other BM shouldn’t have said anything. Maybe your BM was having a bad day, or just isn’t a fan of the dresses. It’s a shame she couldn’t vent without the other bridesmaid tattling. I’m sorry you are upset now. 🙁
Post # 9
I would also just let it go. You don’t need the stress or drama that confronting her is going to create. And you said yourself that the little things don’t matter. So she doesn’t like the color of your dresses. Good thing it’s not her wedding then!
Post # 10
I don’t think it’s a big deal and honestly, why did tattlemouth go and tell you what the other BM said? I think you should just let it go and enjoy the last month before the wedding 🙂 Ps, my sisters, who are my BM’s told me to my face tha they HATED my dress and are going to give it to me when the wedding is over. I’m happy, I love JCrew 🙂
Post # 11
Thanks everyone! You have really made me feel better, I never thought of it from the point of view that I shouldn’t even know. It just upsets me when I know people are talking about something regarding me and making it so serious. I was always like that, very influenced by what people are saying/thinking.
I know they like the dress, most of them already have a place they’re going to and are planning on wearing it again, its a party dress really… so I should just let it go. I know the whole black thing will come up soon and the dress might be integrated into the convo but we’ll play it by ear. I just didn’t realize it was a rule that my colors had to be the dress color. I’ve been stewing this for a while now.
Thanks for all your help 🙂