(Closed) BM dress Dramz (Long)

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable!  It’s not like they’re carrying a huge wedding gown.  How hard could it be to carry the dress onto the flight?  I mean they could even use one of the luggage racks they have all over the airports so technically they’re barely carrying anything at all.  There isn’t enough time to fix a lost or just late dress and everyone’s lost something in the mail.  I think you should ask your FH to be unrelenting, tell them they can NOT ship the dress.  As long as he’s calm and presents the valid concerns, they can’t get too bent out of shape.  And even if they do, I’m sure they’ll be find once they get here and are able to relax.  This is a stressful time for them too (not nearly as stressful as it is for you guys).    Gosh, that stresses me out for you! 

Post # 5
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Id not ship them either.  Id calmly explain to her that while the USPS (or even UPS or FedEx or DHL) is on target 99% of the time, these dresses took WEEKS to be made and delivered.  You went through the trouble of having them wear the same dress, so if one were to get lost or delayed, there is no viable option for another dress off of a rack. If it were me (some people will think this to be too harsh) Id say “I’d hate for one of them to not be able to stand up there with us due to a preventable situation like a lost dress…”  She may think its extreme, but maybe she’ll get it.  If it comes down to them not being in the wedding, perhaps she’ll deal wtih it

Im totally with you though, Id be a nervous wreck if they were being shipped.  I traveled for EIGHT weddings this summer, I was in 3 of them, and for all of them I carried them in a garment bag.  Its what you do. 

Post # 6
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

USPS loses every other package I order, it seems like.  They held on to my engagement AND wedding rings (2 separate shipments) that were sent overnight for a combination of 10 days.  Plus they wouldn’t refund the money b/c they wanted the sender to go in and dispute, despite the fact that we paid to ship.  I would do the same thing as you and not bend – carry the dress on! no big deal, and safer, and less stressful.

Post # 7
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t think you are being unreasonable! I would not trust UPS/FEDEX/USPS to deliver anything wedding related on time! All it takes is one dress to be late or get lost and all of the money and time spent on picking them out would be wasted! This might be a little far fetched, but if you are looking to get them to just go with your wishes (which they should do anyways because, like you said, it isn’t too complicated to place the dress in a garment bag and carry the dang thing on!) I would personally offer to pay for extra checked baggage for their carry on items. I know that having extra checked baggage is expensive so people worry about making everything they can fit in their carry on. If you pay for the extra checked baggage for each girl, then they would only carry on the dress and a purse and/or jacket, and they wouldn’t complain about having too much stuff to carry already. Also, an idea for encouragement is to maybe get cute garment bags and have them embroidered with their names and they will maybe WANT to carry them on in their cute garment bags. I know this cost more money, but if you really want to have them carry them on the plane, I would try using forms of persuasion similar to these in order to keep them from shipping them without your consent. Good luck with this and keep us posted on how you resolve this issue! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I would prefer not to ship them either, but I don’t think it’s a huge deal and worth getting into multiple fights over. You’ve made your position clear, so continuing to talk about it isn’t going to achieve anything besides making them angry, IMHO. You can’t physically force them not to ship the dresses, so just maybe reiterate one more time that this would mean a lot to you and hope they respect your wishes.

Post # 9
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Tell her she can mail whatever other stuff she’s concerned about carrying! If she really trusts the mail that well, she should have no trouble tossing a few shirts and an extra pair of shoes into a box and mailing those. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 10
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, but I don’t think that being right alone is going to win you this fight.  Since your FMIl works for USPS, and seems to be really defensive about this, why don’t you start by acknowledging that they don’t normally screw up.  

Something like “I know it may seem a little silly, but I’d rather all the girls have their dresses with them when they travel.  The only thing more embarrassing than a terrible bridesmaid dress is being the naked bridesmaid because your dress got lost in the mail.  I am simply not comfortable with the dresses being shipped, and I’d appreciate it if they carry them on so I have one less thing to worry about in the very stressful days before the wedding.”  

I’d tell this to EACH of your bridesmaids (even the ones who live with your FMIL) and then pour yourself a drink, take a deep breath and let it go.  If they choose to ship, there’s nothing you can do about it.  Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

FWIW, I was in a wedding where the bride asked us to ship our dresses to her. They all made it to the wedding destination, and by the time we arrived, our dresses had been steamed and pressed, so we didn’t have to worry about making a dress that had been stuffed into a garment bag look presentable. I loved it!!

That said, I understand your concerns and you certainly don’t need something to be stressed out about so close to the big day. I think some of the other posters had some good advice about how to approach the situation.

Post # 13
Member
5498 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

lol @ daydream!!!! Haha.

I wouldn’t ship them! Wth? Stand your ground, girly!

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