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I got a general consensus on price, and then I picked the options (two Dessy dresses with different necklines) and let them choose from those. I was worried if I let them give me initial input into the actual style of the dress that whoever didn't end up with the dress they wanted might feel annoyed or like I was playing favorites. I actually was specifically trying to avoid comments like your BM3's!
I still got some hassle, though. One of my BMs gave me some grief about finding a dress that would suit her better, so I finally had to remind her that normally she wouldn't have a choice at all and did she want straps or did she not? That was the only choice she was getting! ;) I think it will turn out okay, though.
I picked and paid for their dresses. My original plan was to have us all go together and pick them, but when I was browsing at Macy's one day I found a dress that had all the colors of my wedding in it and I LOVED it for only $33 (on clearance down from $160). I bought one for each gal. I then showed them all the dress and they all really liked it - so it's the dress we're going with.
I asked some but not all, because several of my BM lived OFT. So I took two of them shopping with me and when they agreed on it, I just told the others "buy this dress."
However, the dress i choose was more casual, not BM"sey," so everyone was happy.
It was for that very reason that I chose BM dresses with *just* the MOH. My BM's had *very* different body types and personal styles, and 2 of them have no sense of when to shut up and do what the bride wants. Also, one isn't happy if she's not showing all kinds of skin, and the other is so self-conscious that she always wears at least short sleeves and long skirts/pants. I wanted all the same dress, but even if I had allowed different dresses, I think there would've been backlash against mandating the color/fabric/length/whatever. So MOH and I talked about what kinds of things would be most universally flattering and would fit with the wedding, we shopped by ourselves, and I just told the girls what we had decided. I heard some mutterings, but it was way better than getting them involved in the decision-making process!
I plan to basically just tell them a yellow knee or tea length dress and letting them have at it. I'll give ideas if they want it, but I don't necessarily want them to wear the same dress...it's more important to me that they get something they'll wear again!
I sent out TONS of feelers for the girls like this: "hey this is what I'd like (enter description here), help me find it!" and I didn't get ONE email from all 6 of them. So i said fine,...tried to find them myselves...only found them for $320. So mom said, "oh i'll make them!" and she did. They had their chance but they still lucked out since they didn't have to pay for them!
Each of my girls is wearing what she wants I just gave a little criteria and then they picked the dress. They are going to David's Bridal getting a short dress in Marine and will either wear white or silver shoes. This way each girl is comfortable in the dress she picks.
I knew what dress I wanted for my bridesmaids before I was even engaged, haha! I LOVE love love jcrew dresses and knew that none of my girls like strapless so I picked the sophia chiffon in espresso and they all love it (and the price too - under $100!)
I chose obviously the color and length and let them decide together what dress they wanted! 2 couldn't make it so the other 3 joined forces and chose. The other two said they would wear anything since they couldn't make it to the try on day. I was very fortunate! They chose a fabulous dress that saved them all money as well!
I picked the color (black) and they can pick the dress. Oh yea, must be a formal dress (cocktail is okay too), but no jersey material. I'm debating between picking the material as well. My small intimate wedding party has grown since I told my mom we're getting married (she and FMIL are the only one outside me and Mister that are aware of this wedding). But in any event, my MOH is my mom and my three BFF's will be the bridesmaid (my mom insisted I include them) and my daughter will be a jr. bridesmaid. All, but my daughter, will be in black. My daughter will be wearing white or ivory (to match the color of my gown) with perhaps a black sash to match the ladies.
I want an eclectic mix of dresses. I picked about 10-12 on polyvore to give them an idea and let them know to either pick oneof those or find similar.
I want it to be something they actually like and feel comfortable in. Something that fit's their shape and that they will wear again.
So far two of their dresses are in and they are adorable!!
BQcDAAAAAwoDanBnAAAABC5vdXQKFjRoT3oxWV.jpg (32.1 KB, 50 downloads) 2 years old 
I was lucky in that 4 of my 5 BMs could come dress shopping (and the 5th didn't care (in a good way) or live nearby). I chose the color and length, and they tried on every dress in the store that was of that length. They would each try on one dress so there were 4 dresses being tried on at once, and if someone didn't like one of them, it was out. It only took them about an hour to pick out a dress that we all loved! There was only 1 person who didn't seem 100% satisfied, but she was 5 months preggers at the time, so I attribute it to frustration/hormones :).
That's the long way of saying "ask".
2 of my BM came shopping with me...my SIL who was a twig, and my MOH who was...shapely 
I wanted to make sure that the dresses they picked looked good on both body types since they were the most extreme. We found one together, and I think everyone was happy it stayed under $170!
I picked 2-3 things I liked and then polled among them. They all told me just to pick.
Do bridesmaids really go into this expecting to wear their dress again? Really? I've been a BM 5 times now and I have never had the expectation of more than a one-time use.
I'm having them choose between 2 dresses that are very similar. It's a plain dress, so they'd be able to wear it again if they want, but I'm not expecting it.
I picked 8 as choices and am letting them choose. The only problem I've come across is that one BM has decided she does not like any of the 8 dresses and wants to pick a different one -- wtf?
I don't think it's easy to make everyone happy, especially if it's more than like 2 people. You can always try, but if it doesn't work, it's completely fine to just choose a dress based on the input of the majority of the girls. That's what I ended up doing.
I haven't bought the BM dresses, yet, but I am in the midst of it all. Most importantly, I wanted my girls to be happy with what they are wearing; I can't imagine making them buy a dress that they don't like. That said, I prefer full length dresses, but my MoH said while she likes full length dress, too, she wanted something that she can wear again, so she vouched for tea length. My BM said whatever I want to wear is frine. My FI said he likes the shorter dresses. So, I lose, the girls are going with tea length dresses.
Right now the plan is I pick the shade/fabric/feel of the dresses and I will show them dresses I like to get the sense of what I want for the wedding (i.e. elegant, modern, romantic), and they can pick from them, or show me something they pick for my approval. I hope this plan works. I am trying to give them as much freedom as I can. Oh, and they don't have to wear the same dress.
I voted for other.
I went dress shopping with two of my local girls. At first, I wanted to approve the dresses, but I wanted them all to each pick a style they liked individually.
In the end, to make it easier on everyone, I told them to pick any dress they wanted in the same color shade (if the hues were different, I didn't care). They all ended up picking the same dress. Go figure.
I choose 3 designers told them to choose the designer - I chose the colour and they are picking their dresses and just showing me for approval!
So I chose other because technically they are choosing their dresses and I don't care if they are the same or different!
i feel like if you are going for a more casual theme and you like the etsy dress, then just don't listen to your bridesmaid and do what you want! i'm sure people will be talking about how non bridesmaidy my dresses are, but i'm happier with that happening than having matchy, fancy, bridesmaids dresses.
i chose other, because at first we went shopping together. i told them kind of what i wanted, something with pink and with flowers. we found a dress for one girl, but not for my moh who lives in another state, so she went shopping on her own and just sent me a text of her dress after she bought it. she was having a hard time finding something she liked, we were sending each other dresses for a long time, so i was at the point that i just wanted her to have something that she liked and i'd be happy. and it turned out that i loved it, so everyone's happy now.
Well, I took MOH and one of my BM with me to look at dresses, I had a few in mind that I had liked, so they tried the choices on, and decided that they liked the one that I had originally wanted everyone to wear...i have 7 BM who don't live too close to me (everyone's kind of all over new jersey) so it was easiest for the closest ones to come and help pick it out and that's what we're going with...i'm sure the other girls will like the dress too, we all have similar taste...
I picked them out along with my sister (MOH.) The others had no input, I actually didn't even know that people asked their bridesmaids what they wanted to wear until I came onto some wedding websites like this one. In every wedding I have been in, the bride has just dictated. At any rate, all but one of them loved the dresses. The one that didn't like it, I had to wear a short, bright fuschia $250 dress for her wedding so she had no room to talk!
I told mine to just pick any black dress. I don't care about length, material, straps...nada. Just black. Well I thought I was doing a nice thing, but they are all having the hardest time with this. Some of them even said they were going to shop together, so at least THEY would match. But that is the only rule I have - I do NOT want them to match. I guess none of them have ever heard of BMs not looking exactly alike before or something...but I don't want them all to look the same!
The Etsy dress is super cute - you'd think BM3 would realize that you weren't going for a "bridesmaid-y" look after seeing your three options. If you love the Etsy dress, I say go with it - you have a majority approval of the dress. If you're not "in love" with the Etsy, then do the mix and match. That way even BM3 can't complain about anything (well, has no leg to stand on anyway).
I'm only having 1 attendant. She knows my wedding colours and so is looking for dresses in those colours and I asked her not to wear black but otherwise I said that she could run with it and get something she's happy with it. She's given me final veto power though which I don't anticipate using.
One of my BM's wanted to order that annarcher etsy dress for my wedding, but she didn't have the gray material to make the color we wanted. I think it's adorable... and ordered one for my honeymoon! It doesn't look cheap and fits like a glove.
Although stressful (bm dresses were the hardest part of planning for me), one complaint (from someone who's probably not going to love anything you pick since it seems you have quite different tastes) isn't so bad. And the etsy dress is almost half the price that you paid to be in her wedding... don't be ashamed to bring that up if you need to!
Good luck!
I have an issue with feeling weird about asking them to buy a dress. I just cant get over it for some reason. I bend and then start waffling around about what I want. :-/
I voted other. I've instructed the women in our wedding party to find a cocktail- or tea-length dress in a cooler shade of purple (bridesmaids) or blue/silver (groomswoman). I don't want them to match.
As far as your dress picks, the Etsy dress is adorable and BM #3 is nuts :)
I found out which dress shapes my bridesmaids preferred, because they have totally different body shapes from me and I wasn't sure what would suit them. I kept that in mind and we all pointed dresses out that fit my overall colour/wedding 'feel' and one just emerged that felt right to me and they agreed!
almostduffy, that is a lovely selection of dresses, your maids will look lovely!
I'm another other. I gave them guidelines and pics of some nice dresses to understand the general style, then set them loose! They have been nice enough to send pics of what they were ordering.
I talked to my MOH about dresses, and we chose the line of dresses; BMs will each chose their own specific dress in black or black/white.
I have 6 BMs and 1 MOH so there was no possible way that we could all agree on a dress (honestly). Plus many of them were from out of town. Since I'm the executive of this event, I made the executive decision to bring along my MOH and only one BM. Once we picked my wedding dress, the consultant brought out a bunch of BM dresses that complimented and I basically let the two ladies decide and then I gave the final say.
My BMs are not problematic at all, but it's my vision of the day and too many opinions can be more harmful then helpful. I have not heard any issues with the dress and even if they do have issues, I think my BMs are respectful not to say anything.
I've been a BM before and my thought was that you wore what the Bride chose, shut up, smiled when you walked down the aisle and wished her well.
Everyone has a different body shape - there is no way I'll make them wear the same style/they will be the ones paying for them. I will be selecting a few styles that I like, then let them each pick one that they love. IF they all choose the same style, then thats fine too! Both of my friend's weddings that I'm in right now shared my thoughts and did the same - worked out great!
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Hey bees,Just wondering if you asked for opinions from your BMs on dresses, or did you just tell them which one to get?
The first choice was this Etsy Dress, the second was a Davids Bridal dress, and the third was mix-and-match from Aria.
The issue I'm having, is that BM 1, 2 and 4 LOVED the Etsy dress and BM #3 has said HORRIBLE things about it. "It looks cheap"; "Doesn't look like a bridesmaid dress"; "it's soooo casual, but maybe you were going for that."
Do you know what she made me wear in her wedding?!? I've attached a picture. They were these huge, quilted dresses that cost nearly $300 and I will NEVER. EVER. WEAR. AGAIN.
So, I'm thinking about picking the Aria dresses and letting them pick their own style (all the same length and fabric) but I am just so irked by BM#3's comments. I thought I was doing a HUGE favor by giving them some options and having an open discussion about it, and BM #3 hurt my feelings SO MUCH!
Thanks for your help!
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