Weddingbee boards

So I am resigned to being fed up.  My two sisters are in my MOH's.  One is fine, the other is turning into a nightmare.  She will not look at any of the BM dresses I show her.  She keeps telling me she wants something she can wear again.  

I keep telling her I am open to look at what she likes as long as she will try on what I like.

That isn't good enough for her.  She says no to everysingle dress I show her.  I keep telling her I want a classic, Audrey Hepburn style.  She is showing me slingly evening gowns.  I tell her I want all the girls in short dresses, she keeps showing me floor length ones.  She is also critical of EVERYTHING I have done or looked at including our date, venue, cakes, photography, colours.  

The only thing I can put it down to is that she is jealous.  She was supposed to have a wedding but didn't want my father there so she eloped.  Now she is being a complete cow about my wedding.  

The problem is they live on the other side of the country (Mom and two sisters) and they seem to be ganging up on me.  My mother said today, "why can't they wear what they want" and I said, Its my wedding and I have a view on the overall style.  They can pick dresses as long as they match the feel and look of the vision and venue.  She responds with "If you don't want them in your wedding party, just tell them".  Where the hell does she get that?  I think if they don't want to be in the wedding party they should just tell me.

Does every Bride have such drama?  These are supposed to be people that are happy for me.  I'm getting married for the first time at 47.  Be happy that I have finally found someone.  I have worn my share of hideous BM dresses.  They should just wear what I want them to wear.  I am so frustrated that I almost want to call it all off.   I'm having my wedding across the country to accommodate them and all they do is fight me.  

@Ms. Peach:

I agree.   And what is nuts, the dress I like are around $200.  She is showing me $400 dresses that the others would also have to buy.   Then trying to talk me into letting each girl chose their own dresses. 

@MrsSl82be: Ditto. I'd reocmmend asking your sisters to either shape up or step down. Then, depending on what they say and how much drama they're causing, I might consider doing away with a bridal party altogether. Good luck. I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this!

@cameronwedding:

I have more or less told them this.  I said I have a vision and their dresses must fall in line with it.  And she isn't a child.  The woman is 43.  She shouldn't be such a child.

@Ms. Peach: Good advice.

You've tried being flexible and that clearly isn't working. Pick a dress, show it to them, if they complain or refuse to wear it, then say "That's too bad. I was hoping that you would support me in this, but since not, it would be better for you to not be in the wedding party.

@mckernae:

You may be right. 

I might be a sucker, but I think I am going to try one more visit out there.  I will set up an appointment at a bridal salon and lay the law down after the appointment if there are no compromises.

I should add that normally I would not be so extreme over a dress (I'm a pretty laid-back bride), but the fact that these are your sisters, there are jealousy issues involved, and they are being completely unreasonable and immature leads me to believe that this is just a hint of drama to come. Very sad that they can't just put their personal issues aside and be happy for you, but such is life! Do you have other bridesmaids?

@mckernae:

I do have other people I can ask.  But if I cancel them it will be bigger drama.  I think one more kick at the can, then I will lay it on the line.

@Moja Milosc:

I used to joke about it and said the more they bugged me the more likely I would pick a peach with cranberry frills and a 2 hoop petticoat.

Well, after being told my choices were out of style, I opted for a colour palette.  In it there were lovely grey dresses with cranberry accents and shoes.  Which is already how my place is decorated.  I looked at loads of colours and wanted to pick the dresses first then choose my colours.  My Sister has made it so difficult, I have decided to choose my colours and now they have to pick a dress that fits.  I come back to this palette as it really is me. 

I've decided I like the grey dress and the cranberry shoes.  I sent my sisters pictures of the shoes.  The one that is giving me a hard time flat out refused the shoes, says she doesn't wear cheap shoes.  SO I sent her a link to louboutin cranberry shoes.  She says its bad enough to pay for a dress she won't wear again, she won't pay for the shoes.  So, I say I am buying the shoes for you what is your size.  She comes back with they are out of fashion and I should rethink it.  .... uggh.  She continued on to tell me that I need to spend the money on a limo, DJ and Photographer instead.  I've told her so many times, that I don't want a limo, the venue DJ is fine and I am 47, I don't want to spend thousand's on a photographer, I plan a small photosession, no more than $1000, but she insists on pushing her will on me.  So I have sent her this email ... 

This is really hard, and it is getting harder everyday.  We are trying to pay for the wedding up front, so I want to get all the things I can out of the way.  I don't want to have a $20K bill on the day. I don't see where you get $3000, these are $595 x 2 or less if I can find a good quality shoe for less.  

I want my wedding to be grey and cranberry. I hope you can support me.