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My sister sounds similar to your BM... We ended up going with a V neck similar to your second photo. The straps were wide enough that she could wear a decent bra and feel comfortable. The dresses are in, and she loves it!
sashes add bulk and make the waist look larger.... a full figured woman doesnt look so great in these styles.
You might want to for-go any strapless, spaghetti straps or halter styles. If she's bigger up top, she's going to struggle getting bras to work with those styles. I think you'd be better off with the second style with the wider straps and v-neck - but again, be careful of them being too low-cut - because she'll be popping out of them inadvertently.
Maybe something like this?
@pokergirl84: really? I would think (depending on the height and width) they would help define the waist???
hmmm i am size 14 and a 36 D... i dont look good in dresses where the sash is right under the bust bc i look preggos... its better for me when the sash hits at my waist (the smallest part of me) something like this would look great on me... i also actually like strapless and with the right undergarment most busty ladies look fabulous in them :) oh and sweetheart necklines are my best friend... seriously... for my body... it does wonders :)
5666-SAPP-dts.jpg (18.8 KB, 20 downloads) 1 year old 1901-QRRY-dts.jpg (6.4 KB, 23 downloads) 1 year old 
@jaguar: that first one would give her monoboob, i think, but that second one I want for myself!
@helenberrycrunch: haha, very true - the second one is hot! I do love it too. honestly, it's hard to say without her trying them on - so I would just try a whole stack on, see what she picks out for herself & see what happens! Dress shopping is weird.
steph is right. I have seen BMs in these sorta gowns with the sash under the bust and trust me it looked bad. they were self consicous too. Most of my friends are larger proportioned as am I and I would never chose something like that for them.
I picked a color and designer, and my BM's tried on dresses and picked their favorites. They would give me veto power, but I really liked their choices and know that they are getting their favorite and something they would choose to rewear.
see what i mean? this dress gives her more bulk around her waist and shortens her torso.... i hated it as did she.
@stephanie63087:What website are those two dresses from? They're both so cute!
I'd definitely avoid spaghetti straps if she has a large bust. Maybe you could have her go out and try on a bunch of dresses and send you pictures? I did this for my sister's wedding and that's how we ended up finding the dresses. That way you can see how they look on her. Maybe give her some guidelines (e.g. it has to come in this colour, it has to be this length).
The dresses in the original post would not be a good fit for your BM. Her boobs will be popping out everywhere.
What type of dresses does she normally wear? Ask her what she is comfortable in. Even if you can't dress shop in a store with her, you can share pictures of dresses online with each other.
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One of my bridesmaids is on the full figured side. Mostly in the upper region. She wears a 42 DD bra but is only a 14 everywhere else. I have the opposite problem, so I don't really know what to look for for her. I know that she has a lot of issues finding bra's that fit well and when in comes to dresses halter tops are out, they put a lot of strain on the neck. I have a few dresses in mind but was hoping that someone with a little more experience with this problem might give me thier oppinion. She doesn't live close enough that we can just go look whenever. We are planning a trip to a city inbetween us in a few weeks, but I would like to have a pretty good idea of what I'm looking for before I get there.
PS. the pic with the 2 diff style dresses, I'm looking at the one on the left
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