Post # 1
I’m kinda freaking out and need some advice! My wedding is 9 months from today, so there’s plenty of time that this might not even be an issue, but last night one of my BMs posted a picture to Facebook with her hair dyed pink and green. She’s always had a thing for changing her hair, but it’s always at least been natural hair colors, ranging from black to blonde. I would be fine with ANY natural hair color she chose, but I really don’t want her to have pink and green hair for my wedding. In an email message to all of my BMs a few weeks ago, I told them they could wear their hair however they wanted and jokingly added in parentheses “no mohawks please!” I honestly didn’t think hair would be an issue.
So how should I handle this? Should I say something casually now, when it’s early enough that a simple conversation could clear the air? Should I wait and see if it changes in a few months and then say something if it doesn’t? If I say something at any point, it will probably be along the lines of “Hey are you thinking about going back to your natural color before the wedding? I’d love for you to look like yourself when I look back at pictures.”
OR should I keep my opinions about her hair to myself and just hope for the best? All opinions welcome, but please be nice, I promise I’m not trying to be a bridezilla about this!
Post # 2
Your wedding is 9 months away. I would just try to stay cool about the situation and see what happens. If she changes her hair color often, she’ll probably change it again before the wedding. If she died her hair a month or two weeks before the wedding, then say something.
Post # 3
You’re going to get a lot of flack for this on here, – you’re bridesmaids are there cos they’re your friends not to make pictures look nice etc…so brace yourself for that- however, I can see your problem. How close is this bridesmaid? Can you have a frank convo with her? 9 months is a long time for hair to change, especially if she changes it a lot usually. It’s a toughie, also, how old is she? Does she realise how important it is to you that she has natural hair colour?
Post # 4
It’s her hair hunny!
Seriously can’t quite believe that you expect your maids to have their hair how you want it nine months before the wedding. A weding is not a show production nor a photographic session, it’s about celebrating your union to the man (or woman) that you love in the presence of those friends and family you love too.
Love your friend for who she is not who you can style her into!
Post # 5
I’d say the latter: keep your opinions to yourself and hope for the best! After all you chose the person as your Bridesmaid or Best Man and not her hair color! (Even though admittedly it’ll make for some colorful pictures)
Post # 6
People are going to be snarky to you because it’s VERY easy to say “that wouldn’t matter to me!” when it isn’t happening to you lol.
I would be nervous too. I think I’d say something to her and say “woah, exciting hair! Is this a permanent thing or are you just trying something new?” and see how she responds … I think you’re going to have to be honest with her and say that for the wedding, you hope she has a more natural hair color.
Post # 7
1) Hair colors like pink and green usually come out pretty quickly (and turn into a pale version which looks worse).
2) She can always re-dye it
3) It’s her hair. I’m guessing she dyed it pink because that’s the kind of person she is. Didn’t you choose your bridesmaids for who they are?
4) I would try to embrace it. Maybe you’re more of a traditionalist, but pink hair is fun and and awesome. Now I kinda wanna have a streak of color on my wedding day 🙂
Post # 8
alexsquared: There’s nothing wrong with desiring that your bridesmaid wears a natural hair color for one of the most important events of your life. Since your wedding is 9 months away, you can wait. Maybe she’s just trying out something different for a short period of time.
Post # 9
Thank you all for your feedback! I know I’m overreacting since it’s 9 months out, but I’m basically the opposite of her when it comes to hair – my hair has been the same color and style for like 7 years! I don’t deal with change well haha.
A little bit of background, all of my BMs and I have been friends since middle school, and this one is kind of known for her questionable decisions – not just about trivial things like hair, but big decisions like dropping out of college multiple times, moving in with a guy she just met on the internet, things like that. I think maybe my reaction stemmed from this reminder that she’s so unpredictable and I have no idea what could happen with her in the next 9 months.
I do think she’ll change it before then, so I’ll try to keep my worries to myself until it actually seems like it might be a crazy color for the wedding.
Post # 10
alexsquared: Completely over reacting but I get it. My Maid/Matron of Honor was/is normally a blonde and she went red as is almost fire engine red right before my wedding. Meh wasn’t a big deal now but at the time I did a mini freak out but I would and never said a word to her about it. It was/is her hair you can’t say a word about it.
Besides your wedding is a still long ways away and high colors like that fade fast. I wouldn’t worry about it, you like her for who she is not her hair color.
Post # 11
It’s still nine months away so I wouldn’t worry about it. Colors like that fade really fast. Plus it her hair. She’s allowed to do whatever she wants to her hair. I’m assuming you picked your bridesmaids because they are close to you and you want them to be a part of your big day. Hair color has nothing to do with who she is as a friend.
Post # 12
Say something jokingly.. Be like ooo I love it, hope it’s temporary 😉 she should get the hint.. Or she’ll tell you if it’s permanent
Post # 13
- Wedding: December 2014 - Maui
Meh, it’s her hair. Try not to worry about it too much. I kind of like having photographic evidence of my friends’ bad fashion decisions because we can all have a good laugh over it years later.
Post # 14
Like you said you have time and by that time she could be bored with it or …. you could even grow to like it. It’s her body and you don’t get a say about what she does with it. I wouldn’t say a word unless you think she’s stupid, any negative comment or witty joke is going to go under the … YOU are being a BRIDEZILLA worrying almost a year away about something so mundane as hair color. Pick your battles and this isn’t one you’re going to win.
Post # 15
I agree with others, its her hair and shes your bridesmaid to be a friend and support you, not to be a pawn to make pictures look good.
Plus its so ridiculous to be worrying about this 9 months before your wedding. For all you know she was planning on dying it back before the wedding anyway. I hate to throw this term around, but you are sounding like a bridezilla if you’re expecting all your bridesmaids to look exactly how you want them for almost a year before your wedding. Come on