Post # 1
Fiance asked two more guys to be in his wedding partym so I asked my older Future Sister-In-Law and his youngest cousin, as they are the two I felt closest to. His younger sister can sometimes have a flair for the dramatic, so I’m scared she’s going to be pissed.
Is it an unspoken rule that you ask the sibblings first? It was nothing against her-she’s great and I like her, I just felt closer to his cousin, but I’m scared I’m starting drama.
Post # 4
I would be offended if I were her. If you just asked one Future Sister-In-Law that would be hard but because you went past the other Future Sister-In-Law to a more distant relative, it’s especially hurtful. I would include her in some way.
Post # 6
Yeah she would be pissed. And it wouldnt surprise me if FIL’s would be pissed too.
If you are asking one, you ask both.
Post # 7
I would ask her too and either find another Groomsmen or have an uneven party.
Post # 8
If it were me, and I knew I wasn’t close to you, I wouldn’t care.
I didn’t ask my SO’s sister to be in my wedding at all. She and I don’t have a relationship.
Post # 9
I guess becasue I only asked 2 of my 4 sisters and they were ok, I didn;t think that it would be a big deal. Every family is different, and I have always figured my family to be “relaxed”. I asked Fiance and he said ” it shouldn’t matter I’m sure she’ll undertand. It’s not like it’s HER wedding”
So that makes me think he’s a guy and might have no idea on how his sister might really feel. Oh no o.O
Post # 10
On one hand you shouldn’t have anyone whom you don’t want there, but you also want to trend lighly and not create a rift in the family. I don’t think it would be so bad if you picked one sister and another family member or friend of yours, but you picked his cousin over her and it makes it look like you either don’t like her and are purposely excluding her.
Post # 11
I probably would have suggested asking older SIL about it before making any decisions. That’s one of the major pros of including someone from his side of the family – can help you navigate the “political” land mines.
Sounds like it’s a little late though.
Post # 12
We had agreed on 2 people per side, and Fiance comes back today from a quick trip to see his family saying he’s picked someone else. I was so happy that he asked this person, as he wasn’t going to, thinking we’d just have more of an ‘elopement’ type wedding. Now, with the growing of the guest list and then we decided to have a real sit down dancing reception he thought he could go ahead and ask. He then asked me to include some of his family members too.
He had one more guy he wanted to ask, so I asked him “How about your sister and your cousin?” He thought it was great!
It was only when his friend made a remark, saying he wouldn’t want to be there when his youngest sister found out when we looked at each other and said “Uh Oh”
Post # 13
I’m going to disagree with some PPs. If you only invited 2 of your sisters (and you have 4) I don’t really think that his second sister can be that upset (I mean if she is then you can point out you only had two of your own sisters). Besides, your BMs your choice, if you feel closer with the cousin- I think you did the right thing.
That being said, I would try to include the younger sister in some other way (maybe a reading or greeter or something)