BM gifts: getting more for those who went to my bachelorette?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should all the bridesmaids get the same gifts?
    Yes, same gifts for everyone : (19 votes)
    49 %
    No, it is okay to get an additional gift for the BM who planned and paid for your bachelorette : (15 votes)
    38 %
    Other (explain below) : (5 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @PeachRN:  If you do, I would give it to them one-on-one and let them know not to tell the BMs that aren’t getting the extra gifts!

    Post # 4
    10899 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    @PeachRN:  It’s very thoughtful of you to want to do something extra for the three bridesmaids who hosted your bachelorette party.  However, please do not give these ladies an extra gift at the rehearsal dinner in the presence of your two other bridesmaids. I would find another, private moment to present these additional gifts, even if it means you need to mail them.

    Post # 5
    839 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @PeachRN:  If you really want to show your appreciation for the girls who planned and funded your bachelorette weekend, can you be more discrete about it? It’d probably go over better if you sent them the appreciation gift separately with a note thanking them for the bachelorette weekend. I don’t think giving the uneven gifts at the RD is such a good idea. 

    Post # 6
    6449 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I agree with all of the PPs. I would definitely not present 3/5 of the BMs with extra gifts right in front of the other 2. I gave my MOH an extra gift as she planned and paid for my shower by herself but I did it in private (the night of the shower).

    Post # 7
    7286 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    @PeachRN:  I am not in favour of getting BM’s the exact same gift because well they are all individuals and deserve an individual gift. Would you buy them all the exact same thing for their individual biorthdays? Also your gifts sounds more like props for your wedding.

    However I do feel that you should spend the equivalent money on each of their gifts. If you wanted to give the hosts of your bachelorette party something to thank them for hosting the party then you could do that but I would make sure that it was a totally seperate thing from their BM gift and given to them just after the bachelorette party.

    Post # 9
    1590 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I think it’s fine if you do it on the down low.

    Post # 10
    1243 posts
    Bumble bee

    I gave my MOH a card and gift to thank her for hosting a bachelorette for me. You are fine to do something like that (it is a gracious way to thank your hosts) however as with any other thank you sentiment, I would suggest you do it promptly and privately.

    Post # 11
    372 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @PeachRN:  of course the MOH and BMs from bachellorette deserve more gifts than onky those BMs who only showed up. Nothing rude about it and I plan to do it, yet I think I migh give each girl their gifts privately

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