Post # 1
I consider myself a practical/frugal person. I have invited my best friend to be my maid of honor. I realize this will be a bit of a burden for her because now she will have to purchase a dress, have her hair and make-up done, give us a gift (which she will be insistent about) and pay for her accomodations overnight at the B&B that we will be married at. She is fairly well-off… but I have been feeling guilty about all these wedding related expenses. I have given her freedom to choose a dress that she will probably wear again.. but in looking for Bridesmaid or Best Man gifts for her, I wonder if I should just skip the gift-thing and pay for some of her expenses instead. What do you think? If it was me, I would rather have a hand paying for things rather than a necklace… but I’m curious what you girls have to say.
Post # 3
i agree that if you can pay for something like her accommodations she would be thrilled!! i am thinking of the same type of gift (and a monogrammed something because i’m a dork) but it is inclusive in either of our packages.
Post # 4
If you choose to cover expenses, you will need to write a heartfelt thank you note in place of a gift. A thank you gift does not have to be expensive. A simple non-wedding related token that you can afford that they will be able to keep or use that fits their individual interests is best if you choose to go that route. It will be appreciated more than a dress or necklace that they won’t ever wear again, despite the fact that it can be reworn if they choose. Only you can decide what is best for your situation.
Post # 5
If you say she is fairly well off, then I would not worry about her expenses. I would get her a traditional gift. If it’s the guilt you are worried about, I’d spend more on her than maybe the other girls. For one, she’s your Maid/Matron of Honor. Secondly, if there is one thing my girlfriends and I buy each other (non-wedding related) is nice jewelry. We know our tastes are typically better than our men’s, so we buy each other nice jewelry. Or, offer to buy her a nice spa package or something to pamper herself after she’s done taking care of you!
I have a few BMs who have very little money. I told them they could pick their own dresses, so that’s in their hands. (I’m doing non-matching dresses.) But otherwise, I’m not paying extra for any of their stuff because they would be downright insulted by it. But those are my friends.
If you think she’s financially in a postition to cover the dress, hair, shoes, gift, etc, then don’t stress over it. She’s your friend and I’m sure she understands that those are typical expenses to be in a wedding. One day, I’m sure you’ll be in hers (if not already) and will be expected to pay for the same things.