Bm issues… Am I being unreasonable??

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
7781 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

1) your friends sound like teenagers. Who the hell would complain and bitch about not being a BM? That’s so rude and immature. Everyone with their head firmly on their shoulders knows you can’t pick alllll the ladies you love.

2) I don’t know why you opened pandoras box this early for your May 2016!!! wedding. You def should have waited till 9-12 months out- this is just way too much time to hem and haw about a wedding.

Post # 3
Member
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Um, to answer your question, I don’t think it’s unreasonable for a bride to …pick bridesmaids. 

I understand that some allowances might be made for the sake of family politics and every bride has to figure that out for herself, based on what kind of relationship politics at stake. 

But I think the bigger issue here is that you may need to be more assertive and definitive with your planning and you need to stop worrying so much about pleasing others. If you wanted 4 BM, have 4 BM. You can’t and never will please everyone, certainly not when it comes to your wedding. You are much better off setting up boundaries so that everyone is clear on their expectations. You cannot control other people’s happiness, so if your friend cannot be happy for you and the fact she will be included in the celebration as a guest, then too bad for her. 

Post # 4
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

It’s 2014. Your wedding is in 2016. I think maybe you should relax a bit. And also cut your sentences into more manageable bite size pieces. Yup. 

Post # 5
Member
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I don’t think you are unfair in this … Have you considered having the other 2 be attendants? …. My best friend just got married and when she got engaged I basically assumed myself as a bridesmaid  i said it without thinking and she had to explain to me she was just having her and her fiancés sisters… I felt bad bc I shouldn’t have assumed that but I wasn’t hurt by it at all. In the end she ended up making me and friends attendants basically we came and partied with her at her bachlorette party and we came to rehersal so we knew who needed to be where and when to help everything run smoothly and rehersal dinner where she gave us each a gift (w. Was sweet of her) then on wedding day we just greeted guest and pinned flowers on grandpatents and helped keep the flower on cue and calm and made sure her train and dress was laid out perfect for her to walk… We just wore black dresses (color she requested of our choice) 

Post # 6
Member
3398 posts
Sugar bee

Mrsk2be2016:  You shouldn’t have to pick a BM because someone said you need to, simple as that.

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